ahhh Sam this was so cute!!! I know it's an old one, but I was feeling the need for some sapphic fluff and this was a fantastic delivery of that ;-; I love how when it started it was straight into the action of what was going on, and as the reader there wasn't really an introduction? We were just kind of expected to get in and come along for the ride and sometimes that gets confusing, but it really worked here and I liked it a lot. I also loved Parvati's internal monologue, it was a lot of fun to read and I just felt the awkward as well as the "omg what am I doing" and "but omg I really fancy her" all of those layers. And you could really tell how they both felt, but more than that, how good their friendship is on top of that?? I just had a big ol' smile on my face the whole time I was reading and it was just??? good, sapphic fluff. <3
Julie
Hi Sam, I’m here for the HC finale!
ASFGSJFKL Sam that opening line is so brilliant! “I just slipped and you were there, and faces go bonk and sometimes there are lips on those faces” – I just can’t, that’s probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read and I absolutely adore awkward, flustered Parvati!
Ohmygod both of them are just lovely, awkward, precious beans and I can positively feel the awkwardness dripping from the walls! I love how clumsy their conversation is flowing, and how they’re skirting around the this-totally-wasn’t-a-kiss-I-just-fell-on-your-mouth-what-are-you-talking-about-haha issue! Although I do kind of want to push them that little bit further! You’ve already established boys are rubbish, please now come to the logical conclusion!
I also love how they’re absolutely gorging themselves on all of the sweets! And I absolutely love the sound of these exploding bonbons, even if they sound like the worst possible thing you could ever do to your face – I mean they literally explode, they must have blown a fair few teeth out of people’s faces! But who needs dental care when you’ve got magic, amirite wizards?
And Parvati being so overwhelmed that she completely loses track of how they’ve ended up kissing again is so adorable! And the transition between those lyrical metaphors and ‘no word thoughts, only feelings’ is priceless!
I loved this so much, Sam! Thank you for writing this!
Love, Julia
Quodpot – Match 1 – Friends to Lovers
So can I just say your opening line was a little too relateable to me because that’s actually how my first kiss happened! I slipped and this boy was there—and he was totally older than me by the way—and I fell into his arms but he fell back too and my lips landed on his lips. It was completely mortifying and I remember running away because I never kissed anyone before and it wasn’t intentional at all! So this is actually super funny to me even though obviously she did mean to kiss her. Well, she wanted to kiss her but she probably wasn’t ready to kiss her or ready for what that could mean with their friendship.
Aw! They’re so awkward and yet completely comfortable around each other. I love that all of a sudden they’re talking about dating and kissing and it’s like—hello there’s this huge elephant in the room but let’s not talk about it just yet because I can’t—but by the way I haven’t kissed anyone since Ron, so, yeah.
I feel like she’s trying to send a message, “Am I a bad kisser? It has been awhile? What did you think?” Haha.
And then the only thing Parvati was aware of was her own heartbeat, the power of which was certain to knock her off her feet and take Lavender down with her. That couldn’t be normal. She should be worried about that, right?
Oh my! Oh my! I felt that. I really did. UH! I loved this story and the last line—how clever! This worked from beginning to end. I was convinced from the opening line and then it came back full circle in the end. This was written beautifully and was a joy to read. Thanks for writing it! Lavendar and Parvati are two characters I tend to stay away from because I never give them a second thought but this—this made be a fan!
AWWWW SAM THIS IS SO ADORABLE!!! I did not know that I needed this in my life until I read this. Adorbs.
I love how in Harry Potter pretty much any character can be gay because of course Harry would never notice (or care) if anything like this happened. Leaves a lot of freedom for us! New gay headcanon accepted.
The awkwardness is adorable (I know I'm using that word a lot) and human. So very human. Their awkwardness is extremely realistic and I feel like most of us, at some point in our lives, have been in an awkward situation semi-similar in nature.
They accidentally fell into each other and accidentally kissed each other. SUUUUUURE. Uh huh. Totally believe that.
So I guess... Lavender is bi, then? Since she's dated other guys before? (Or pan, possibly.) And Parvati is gay?
I really like the setting of the (Honeydukes) storeroom. I like how the setting is carefully integrated in the story (exchanging licorice wands, etc.) without there being too much focus on it. It's a nice environment.
Great job with this! I love it!
SAM HI.
I am very thankful that this review game gave me the opportunity to review another one of your stories! I feel like it’s been way too long, and I’ve missed it a lot.
First order of business: I was trying to refer to Lavender/Parvati by their ship name, before I realized that I don’t actually know of one?? Which is a complete travesty, so I will come up with one now. Pavender isn’t exactly the catchiest thing, and neither is Larvati. Maybe Bratil? For their last names? Because Lavender was depicted as a “brat” in the books, but I love her anyway. I DON’T KNOW. What do you think?
My point is, I love Bratil/Larvati/Pavender. They are one of my absolute favorite non-canon canon ships, alongside Deamus, and I was just smiling madly the whole time through this. From the opening line (“I just slipped and you were there, and faces go bonk and sometimes there are lips on those faces…” Lmfao Parvati, get yourself together) to the last (“The jury’s still out on that ‘slip’ from earlier.” SO CUTE) I was just shipping very hard. Because their dialogue and banter is so well done, and they’re so very lovable, and I just wanted to smush their faces together in a real kiss the entire time.
I love that they were subconsciously eating candy the whole time lol. What a relatable thing to do. (Have you ever had those moments where you’re mindlessly eating a snack while, like, reading or something, and then you somehow have eaten through the entire pantry without noticing? This reminded me of that.)
And I love that they kept approaching the topic of “HEY I LIKE GIRLS AND I LIKE YOU” while also being too shy and awkward to really talk about it. It’s just so freaking cute I can’t get over it.
All in all, I love this. I love you. And this story actually brightened my day a whole lot! So thank you for writing something so lovely and fluffy and adorable. <3
Love,
Eva
p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 13.0px Helvetica} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 13.0px Helvetica; min-height: 16.0px}
Hey Sam! Just a quick little review for your entry. (Incredibly late I know!)
First of all I have to say that I really enjoyed it. It was sweet and fluffy and the way it just jumps into the first kiss is fun. I would have loved a bit more backstory into their friendship but what there was was very good.
There is close friendship but to me something was a little off about the way Lavender and Pavarti interacted. It was like they were close, but something felt a little distant.
Anyways I really like how the story ended up rolling out. The candy distracting them, the conversation about Lavender’s past kisses and Pavarti’s lack of them.
I all in all really enjoyed it. Thanks for such a cute story!
Good luck, not that you need it!
-Lily
Hello hello, I'm here to sprinkle a little love & joy onto this story of yours.
How sweet! I love how Lavender and Parvati's friendship was clear from the beginning, and how comfortable they were with each other, even in the awkward moments. I loved Parvati's overthinking that seemed to come naturally (and who could blame her?) and the small, flirtatious touches.
Everything felt so natural and right, and this was a really cute story to read on a day like today. Lovely job!! ♥
Hey Sam! :) So Lavender/Parvati is one of those ships I don't ship, but I do love to read, because there's something so wonderfully sweet about them, yk? But this sounded so sweet, and I needed something sweet to read today, so here I am :)
This is so. cute. Like, tooth-rottingly sweet, cute. I love how the whole thing takes place in the basement, with the two of them sitting around, and post that awkward first not-at-all-a-first-kiss (bahaha, such denial, bless them! :P) - it's such a clever way to start the story. The way progress through sitting and chatting in the kind of aimless, just-so-you-know way that people have when what they're actually saying is kinda important and hinting at other stuff underneath is so funny - but so, so realistic, too. I loved how Parvati was desperately trying to find an excuse to explain the not-kiss, and how she kept blurting out that it wasn't a kiss, that they hadn't kissed, throughout the whole thing, when Lavender was talking about how it had been a while since she'd kissed anyone... I really sympathised with her - it's so awkward, and you could really feel that coming through the story.
I loved the descriptions of the exploding bonbons - how Lavender squealed and couldn't help it, how Parvati could deal with it, and how they giggled afterwards. It was so cute and so funny - and I could picture it so vividly in my head.
And the ending! Well, it had to happen, didn't it? :P I love how Lavender, after Parvati's insistences on them not kissing at the beginning, was the one to go for it, and how Parvati was so confused even after the kiss. It was such a sweet, innocent moment, and you wrote it so perfectly (as though, though, you didn't write everything else in this story perfectly!), and it made me smile :)
This was such a sweet, sweet story - I'm so glad I read it (even if it does mean I should probably go clean my teeth :P :P)! I loved it :)
Aph xx
Sam! One of my favourite people <3 I couldn't not stop by and leave you a review, could I?
Everything about this story was perfect, honestly. I don't even know what to say to it except just gush all over it and tell you how big of a smile is plastered all over my face at this moment in time, because Lavender and Parvati are so cute in this piece and they're so perfect for each other.
That opening is brilliant. Not only opening it with a kiss, but a kiss-that-wasn't-a-kiss-that-was-actually-a-kiss-let's-be-honest, so we feel the full weight of the awkwardness and panic that Parvati is feeling in that moment. It pulled us straight into the story and had me rooting for Parvati from that opening second.
"I just slipped and you were there, and faces go bonk and sometimes there are lips on those faces…" I think this is possibly the best excuse for a not-really-a-kiss-but-totally-a-kiss that I've ever seen. Faces go bonk, oh my goodness. Parvati, you sweetheart <3
Parvati's internal monologue and the sheer awkwardness and panic that she was feeling through the whole beginning of this story was so tangible. She was just so flustered and I loved the way that she tried to distract herself and Lavender with anything that came to hand, and eating a ridiculous amount of sweets was a good distraction for that (I appreciate the amount they managed to eat. Not that I've ever managed similar amounts myself, of course) until suddenly she accidentally made eye contact.
Also, just the relief that is so clear in that moment when Parvati realises that Lavender hasn't run away or left her and she can try and carry on as normal <3
I thought you managed to capture such a great balance here between the lighter and more humorous side of the moment, and then the depth of their friendship/relationship. They really do know each other so well, and the fact that Lavender can't really hide how her date went from Parvati, even though she lied about it, shows how close and perfect for each other they are. And the little details like the fact that the best birthday presents that Parvati's received are from Lavender, too.
Boys complicate most things. Just saying. But really I'm thinking it's more the fact that she's in love with Lavender that's more significant about this conversation :P
"Lips. There were lips on her lips. How had she lost track of where Lavender’s lips were?"
I loved this - the actual kiss, after the slip that started the story. You managed to capture the surprise and excitement of the moment for Parvati so well with just those few lines, and it really made me smile. And I loved the way that you ended this chapter, coming full circle with Lavender teasing Parvati about the first kiss.
More of your writing, please? :P
Sian :)
Parvati/Lavender first kiss I am so here for this
Parvati's flustered stumbling for words in the beginning there and saying something about "sometimes there are lips on faces" kind of cracked me up. I know I shouldn't be laughing as she's clearly in distress about making Lavender understand that it was Not A Kiss, but, it's funny, and if Lavender doesn't find it endearing then I'll eat my hat. Or I would if I had a hat.
Emergency! There was a Licorice Wand that didn’t quite fit in its spot. -- XD I adored this. The way she's so intent on anything that's not Lavender at the moment. I feel like this is the go-to action when you do something awkward - pretend to be really absorbed in something Important. I'd say a misplaced Licorice Wand is absolutely an emergency. Hahahaha
No, Parvati was the awkward one. Or at least the one who had given Lavender a reason to be awkward in the first place. How awkward. -- In which Parvati narrates how I think about my life
Using Fudge Flies as a diversion when their discussion of kissing starts to feel awkward. Good. I approve of bad diversion tactics. Fudge flies acquired... Now keep talking about kissing, you two.
That is a lot of sweets XD
Okay, that was the limit of brain being able to make word thoughts. -- Wait, this is how I feel after writing a zillion reviews for winter wonderland.
Their kiss was so sweet by the way. Pun 100% intended. But honestly it was adorable and I loved the way you ended the fic with Lavender joking about the Not A Kiss that started the chapter, which was totally a kiss.
Both girls were written so wonderfully and I enjoyed how you explored this awkward stage where they both know what they want but aren't sure if that's what the other wants, so instead they talk about chocolate. I really loved this story!
Also FYI
she slid downtown sit on the floor -- think that's meant to say she slid 'down to' sit
Anyway, awesome writing. PS you are a reviewing machine. Go, Sam!
Hiii Sam!
Okay, so I really love that you started the story off with the kiss! Or, well, maybe not "the" kiss but a kiss. I really wasn't expecting that at all but it worked perfectly. Poor Parvati was so flustered! It was a brilliant way to set up the tone of the story and set the whole chain of events in motion.
I absolutely loved the banter between the two of them, you could tell how close they were just from the dialogue. But omg, Parvati's little bit of internal awkwardness when boys got brought up. Very relatable haha. (The amount of candy the two of them were able to mindlessly eat was also very relatable.)
And ah, the kiss at the end! I had a feeling that that "kiss" at the beginning wasn't going to be the only one, but I still got really excited. So cute! And I loved the tone you used, it was consistent with the rest of the story - poor Parvati, flustered all over again - but it felt very real and was SO adorable!
I really enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing!
-Kayla
Hey Sam,
It's been a while since I read any of your stories, so I thought I'd come back here and check out this little piece. I love Parvati and Lavender and I'm sure you'll make me love them even more with this story, so I'm just gonna stop talking right now and start reading your amazing story.
Omg. I love Parvati. I mean I did before reading this story too, but here she's just so relatable. I'm just as awkward, if not more, and I'd totally be having this conversation in my head if I accidentally kissed a friend. I'd be overthinking it just like Parvati is. And this: "The sound of Lavender's feet idly shuffling in place told Parvati that she was still standing there, awkwardly trying to find what to say next. No, Parvati was the awkward one. Or at least the one who had given Lavender a reason to be awkward in the first place. How awkward" <-- this is so me and I absolutely love it.
And I just really like the story. You definitely captured the awkwardness that always seem to follow a first kiss, especially here since it was an accidental kiss (cause I'm counting that as their first kiss). I love the build-up to their next kiss and how Parvati's thoughts just completely focus on Lavender. It's not easy to describe a kiss when we're only hearing Parvati's thoughts, but I really think that was really good way of describing their kiss. And the ending was just really sweet. It made me smile.
And I have to say Sam, I'm really impressed by how much you managed to get out of 1600 words, but I'm not surprised. I've said this before, but you've always been really good at getting the most out of your words, and it's part of the reason why I consider you one of the best one-shot writers we have at HPFT. I think you did an excellent job with this piece, and I just want to wish you good luck with the challenge! (if it's still going on). And thank you so much for sharing this lovely story!
- Lotte
Hello Sam,
I adore this piece, it's perfect. It's everything that it should be - it's short but so sweet. I always admire how you manage to create such wonderful relationships in such a short amount of time, this is wonderful example about what you do best in your writing. I thought you captured them perfectly, all the little charactersation of Parvati's thought process in the beginning.
How she was was trying to justice and work out what has happened was happening was very believeable. My favourite part of this was the dialogue between the two girls when Parvati says how well she knows Lavender that her date didn't go well as she can't 'fake happy' to her. It was beautiful way of showing the bond and connection the two girls have with each other. I think that I really need to hit on the description of the kiss too because it's so well done. I think you've done an amazing job with her emotions here because it's like she's over thinking about it but at the same time everything else just melts away and it's just her and lavender. It's really powerful, my favourite line is from this too. 'heavy weightlessness that trapped her in endless possibilities' is fantastic line that works just beautifully in the context.
Good luck with this challenge but this piece is just the cutest and captured all the thoughts and emotions that go along with that first kiss perfectly in such a sweet setting too ;)
- Abbi xo