Name: PinsandKneazles (Signed) · Date: 27 Feb 2022 05:42 PM · For: limbo

Hello! I'm here for a galazy review!

 

This poem really spoke to me through our cultural similarities (jalebis, mmm!). The fact that ghosts don't exisit because there's no limbo is a simplistic way of looking at things I suppose, taking ghosts to mean ethereal forms of the once-living, but that's only really possible of one believes in life and death and an after life. Whereas if ghosts can be the imprint of what was once here, or the memory, then it's perfectly possible for ghosts to be. 

 

Some sarees are not made to be comfortable to wear, all that heavy silk and metallic embroidery. Maybe clothes carry the ghosts of occasions when they were worn?

 

I think it's perfectly normal when one is supposed to be clearing their mind or offering thanks to some higher being, that the weekly shopping list should creep in there, or a yearning for a favourite food (jalebis, mmm!). 

 

And that final sentence: "to fall into the footsteps of a ghost, not of what I was, but what I could have been" is the worst sort of ghost; the one of regret.

 

Loved reading this, it brought up some memories and really made me think.

 

Thanks for writing it <3

 

Meera <3

Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 08 Jun 2019 12:11 AM · For: limbo

Hi Shreya! I am here for our swap (and I’m  also here for June 2019 RvG, team Red).

 

I was so excited to see that you write poetry, so I wanted to check some of it out.

 

First of all, thank you for all of the cultural notes at the end of the poem—it saved me time googling, as I have only a cursory knowledge of Bengali culture. 

 

The first line is stunning—the bald statement that the house of the poet is haunted by ghosts. Whose ghosts are they? Why are they attached to the house? Why is the poet so sure that they are there? And how spooky!

 

In the next stanza, why does the mother insist that ghosts don’t exist? I suppose it makes sense that her reasoning makes sense—that it would interrupt the cycle of reincarnation—but isn’t that what a ghost is in a sense, an interruption? And the picture of a spirit with backward turned feet and a smiling face—a false smile at that—is creepy. I wouldn’t want to meet one alone—I wonder what they want?

 

I love the rhythm and the movement of this stanza too, how it keeps moving relentlessly, the cycle on cycle and multi-verse on multi-verse. It’s a nice bit of text painting that shows the cycle of reincarnation and how everything is linked. I also LOVE that the idea of the multi-verse is so ancient!! I also love how you connect this fantastic idea of a ghost to the very down to earth idea of a mother making a favorite (circular!) food for a sleepy daughter to coax her out of bed.

 

The next stanza, where the poet describes all the evidence she has of the ghosts convinces me that they must be there. Why do the ghosts leave handprints on her old clothes? Are they trying to ask her or tell her something? Why are the at her shoulder when she is praying? (I love that you are honest about her mind wandering—because I certainly struggle with my mind wandering when I pray). And most chillingly, why do they want to climb down her throat when she speaks Hindi? 

 

Following that stanza with the phrase “come here” makes me think that the ghosts are calling to the poet. Then again, is the poet calling to the ghosts?

 

But you tie it all together perfectly with the final stanza—the ghosts are in the space in between everything—the past and present—who we are and who we could have been. And now I wonder if the poet has been talking about actual, literal ghosts, or about opportunities that we miss. Every choice we make eliminates another choice we could have made, another path we could have taken. 

 

Thank you for writing this thought-provoking poem! I expect I’ll be pondering it for quite some time. And thank you for the swap!

 

Yours,

Noelle :-)

Author's Response:

Hi Noelle! I'm finally responding to this review (so sorry that it took so long...). I've been thinking about it a lot; one of my favorite parts of this poem is that everyone connects to it in a different way/notices different things, and I really loved all the insights you brought to it! It's really great when a reader can make the writer think about their story in a different way.

 

I'm very glad that the cultural notes were informative/educational/good clarification! :) I really loved the way that you analyzed the motivations and existence of the ghost, kind of like this was a horror poem--I definitely hadn't anticipated/intended that sort of effect, but re-reading it, I definitely see how the ghosts can come off as scary. In my mind, these ghosts are really more emodiments of sadness and loss than creatures of terror, but there's something scary about the thought that you can't escape these ghosts, that they want something from you--especially because their existence already indicates that something has been taken away from you. I'm already imagining a spin-off/another rendition of this poem that casts the ghosts as actively malicious.

 

I really loved your insight that ghosts are an interruption! And I'm so glad that you appreciated the stanza about the multiverse; I feel like the cadence of that stanza makes it one of my favorite stanzas in the poem. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to try to formulate that effect of linkage in text--it's surprisingly hard to do that haha. So I'm really relieved/gratified that it had the intended effect :D Thank you for pointing out how the idea of ghosts was linked to something very grounded! That was very intentional and no one else has explicitly pointed that out :P idk if you noticed this, but throughout the poem there's a transition from abstractions (in the myths, the fact that the narrator is really only talking about what her mother has told her) to something more grounded in real experience (hence the depiction of experiences, like praying, being coaxed out of bed--with more senses incorporated). I was trying to use that transition to reflect how culture can feel so separated, like an abstraction--even when it's supposedly a part of your everyday experience. There's just this...gap. So I'm really excited that you picked up on that!

 

I feel very validated by your honesty that your mind also wanders when you pray. I feel so constantly guilty about that, especially prayer should be the one moment in your day when you're not distracted. So it feels good to not be the only one :P I also really loved your question: are the ghosts calling to the poet, or is the poet calling to the ghosts? That's also a nuance that not many others have picked up on! I feel in some ways it's both. I kind of thought of the first line, Come here (in English) as the poet calling to the ghosts--and Ajao (come here, in Hindi) as the ghosts calling out to the poet. But rereading it, it could also be just one calling to the other. Clearly I haven't exactly sorted out what I intended--the thing about this poem is that it comes from such a deeply emotional place, that although parts of were definitely very intentionally and logically crafted, some of it was just instinctive and from the heart. I love analyzing this poem and reading others' analysis of the poem, to get some insight into what I was feeling and why I was feeling that way. So thank you! Your insights help me process these really complicated feeligns :D

 

I'm really glad that the final stanza tied everything--and especially appreciate your observation that the ghosts are in the space between who we are and who we could have been. That was the precipitating feeling that drove me to write this poem. This poem was definitely mostly about figurative ghosts (though now I'm imagining a piece around actual ghosts...), and I really like how you highlighted the element of choices and the consequences of these choices that you make--and the choices that are made for you.

 

Thank you for your wonderful review! I'm really happy that this poem inspired so many thoughts and feelings for you; because of how personal it is to a very specific culture and lived experience, I was concerned that it would be difficult for readers to connect to it, but I'm glad that you could still connect to it! (Also you don't know how much it means that you'll be thinking about it for a while afterwards. That's just...amazing that my little insignificant poem can have that kind of effect haha).

 

Thank you!

 

<3 Shreya

Name: TreacleTart (Signed) · Date: 29 Jan 2019 10:13 PM · For: limbo

Hey there!

 

I'm here with a review for the Magical Menagerie Review Event as well as the Gryffindor Red vs Gold Review event for January 2019! I read another of your poems a minute ago and really loved it, so I thought I'd come give this one a read too.

 

This was lovely. I really appreciated the way you incorporated your culture with the poem. I love learning about cultures from around the world, so it was nice to learn a little bit while exploring your feelings. I also appreciated the notes at the end to explain the couple of words that I was unfamiliar with. Though I still could intuit their meaning, it was nice to see a little further explanation.

 

That's so interesting about ghosts having backward feet. I've never heard that before. I wonder why that is. I'm going to have to google that and read a bit more about it.

 

I thought it was really well done how you incorporated the feeling of ghosts, thier pasts, their expectations, all of that weighing down on you in current life. I thought that was a feeling a lot of people could relate to.

 

Good job! I'm really enjoying your poems and I hope you'll consider writing more.

 

~Kaitlin

 

Name: Aphoride (Signed) · Date: 25 Jan 2019 03:03 PM · For: limbo

Shreya! :) hihihi - it's been so so long since I read anything of yours and the best thing about this Magical Menagerie is I'm getting to go and find all sorts of stories which I just adore. I was going to stop on your most recent story, but I remembered vaguely how good your poems were and I just had to stop on this one - especially since it only had two reviews :P 

 

I said this above, but honestly, your poetry is incredible. You have a talent for fic, but you have something beyond talent for poetry. You just... it's amazing, I don't know how you do it. Some people can do it and others can't - and will never, no matter how much they practice, be that good. You're in the former camp; it's the kind of thing you can't learn. It's just so so clever and layered and emotional and beautifully calm and so delicate - it's just everything at once, and there's genius to making something so full and so clever and making it seem so simple and so clear. 

 

You have such a gift for taking complex things and fitting them in simple, comparatively short poems in a way which packs such a powerful, solemn kind of punch. It's remarkable and I just love it about your writing. The way you describe this kind of limbo situation: somehow not yourself and yet not anyone else, how you have this culture which you belong to but you don't necessarily feel quite part of (because you can be raised in something or to something and not really belong)... ah it comes across so so well (at least, I'm hoping that's what you meant by it, haha, otherwise imma feel a bit silly :P). But this whole idea of limbo, of being in-between and this sense of uncertainty, it gives this whole poem a very grey tone, if that makes sense: it's solemn and calm and composed, but it feels lost. And I don't know quite how you did it, but it does. It's sad and it's delicate and it leaves the whole poem resting on this kind of melancholy note, which sort of leaves a drop in your stomach, yk, but I love that it does that. 

 

It's sad without being depressing or making you feel angry, as the reader: it's just sad and true and lost and it's so so clever and so raw. This, I think, is possibly my favourite thing about how you write: the raw honesty of your work, especially your poems. It feels true, like your writing something which is really meant for you, and it's something heart-felt and real, something which speaks very honestly about your experiences, and it leaves me kind of wanting to hug you and help you and sort of feel like I can't. It's... the emotional impact of this is unreal, and you should be so so proud, because it's like that in everything you write - the emotional impact, the feelings layered in it and the sense of something intricate and at the same time huge and all-encompassing. 

 

Blahhhhh I've rambled a lot I'm sure (sorry) but, essentially, you're just so so good at poetry and if you're not published yet I can promise you that you will be at some point because you're too good not to be if you want to be, and it's so so clever and emotional. It's a talent I always feel I can never understand fully and where I can never quite find the words to tell you how it makes me feel, as the reader, and the ways it makes me think, but it does. 

 

It's incredible, you're incredible (though, really, I should have remembered that from last time!). 

 

Laura xx

Name: ailhsa23 (Signed) · Date: 18 Aug 2018 09:11 PM · For: limbo

I've read this repeatedly and thought on it for a while. 

 

Here you have your belief system, what should be, and on the other, you have what is. This sounds very profound and poignant, and also very personal. Culture aside, you have a very relatable piece too. 

"Reincarnation does not allow anything to be stuck in the limbo..."

Yet still we stay caught between a past and future version of ourselves. The dreaded "what is", where we look back in regret, and try to look forward with some semblance of hope...or not even look forward to anything at all. 

To me it feels like your character is still trying to accept a lot about their background in order to shape 'the self', but struggling with it. For example, in the way they liken the saree to a costume, or even making good use of the prayer rituals. Perhaps it has become routine. Something you do just because, instead of truly understanding its purpose and being earnest about it. 

I find it relatable because I was there once. In a Christian based setting, dutifully reciting the Apostle's Creed and accepting communion. It's like a play, performed for all to see, decked out in your Sunday best, but do you really believe in it? 

Ghosts are everywhere, aren't they?

 

Loved this. And thank you for sharing your culture with us.

 

- Lia

 

Author's Response:

Hi Lia!

 

Thank you so so much for leaving this extraordinarily kind review <3 I'm really glad that it was relatable even outside the context of my specific culture (though I think cultural displacement is a specific context that brings other layers of emotion into it). And it is very very deeply personal to me--something I've tried to word for a while.

 

Yes, you've completely nailed the message of this poem! Being caught between past and future versions of ourselves. I've grown to question whether I'm ever really living in the present, and if the present is even a real thing, because to me, every moment is either spent reflecting on the past or wistfully thinking of the future. I wonder if there's a way to break the cycle. I definitely haven't figured it out.

 

I'm really sorry that you've felt similar feelings. It's very disorienting and I feel guilty, all the time, thinking about how I live my faith in a very empty way--but I'm not ready to let go of my faith either? And it's ultra complicated for me, in particular, because my faith is tied to my culture so inextricably, and I don't have that many ties to my culture already--being unable to speak the language, being far from my family, having grown up in America rather than India. So if I give up my faith, what's really tying me to my culture? It's complicated.

 

Thank you so much for reading and review, and I'm really glad you loved this & were able to connect with it.

 

<3 Shreya

Name: PaulaTheProkaryote (Signed) · Date: 29 Jun 2018 03:12 AM · For: limbo

I really, really loved everything about this. All of the cultural notes were very informative although I think you added enough context that I could guess what most of those things were. I felt like it was a lovely slice of another life and there was something about the structure that was so nice to read!