Reviews For Unforgivable


Name: lostrobin (Signed) · Date: 04 Dec 2020 11:47 PM · For: Unforgivable

Hey, Jill! I'm stopping by for the fairy princess' birthday party!


I'm a huge fan of Astoria, and what I love most about her is how many different takes people have on her. And I love how you have her equate power with heels. I'm similar to her in that regard, in that the powerful click-clack (how my friends always refer to the clacking sound of heels) gives you an air of confidence, an air that Astoria clearly doesn't feel at the beginning of this fic.


Draco apologized?? Someone tell the Prophet. I like their relationship in this. We don't really see Draco in a relaxed environment in canon, and it's clear that he cares very much for Astoria.


You write a difficult family very well. They keep acting like Astoria is the one who should beg for forgiveness, but she's not the one who's in Azkaban for being a Death Eater. The Greengrasses definitely need to get their priorities in order, and I'm glad that Astoria has Draco to lean on.


This was a very powerful fic, and I'm glad that Draco and Astoria have each other to lean on. Thanks for writing this, and I hope you have a lovely day!

 

-A



Author's Response:

hey there! thanks so much for dropping by :D

i'm 1000% with you on the powerful click-clack of heels, and i think i am going to refer to them as such from now on

hahaha yes, draco apologized XD BUT ONLY TO ASTORIA so don't get too excited about that. and yes, they definitely care a lot for each other; they're close family friends but then their bond kind of strengthens when they realize they're the only ones who understand what the other is going well

you're definitely right; the greengrasses 100% need to get their priorities together, and i'm so glad that you enjoyed the fic overall

thanks for the wonderful review! ♥



Name: apondinabluebox (Signed) · Date: 01 Jun 2020 09:42 AM · For: Unforgivable

Jill, hello! <3 I'm here for our Hufflepuff review swap (so sorry about the lateness!) and truthfully, I don't think I've had the opportunity to read much of your writing before, so I'm really glad that we were paired together for the swap because this one-shot is absolutely phenomenal!

 

Before I go into my review, because I know there's a lot I want to say, I'd like to let you know about a typo that jumped out at me at the start of the fic: Her sister, on the other hand, wore them constantly. Sometimes she even managed to run in them, a feet Astoria could only admire. (An excellent pun, but I doubt that's what you intended!)

 

Astoria is one of my favourite minor characters, because the little canon that we have on her is so interesting: she's a Greengrass, but she married Draco, who we know reformed after the war. There's so many possibilities with her character, and I truly love the direction you've taken her in here. The strained relationship with Daphne (and with her parents) and how she responds to that is written so well. Daphne's usage of "your father" rather than "our father" certainly suggests that while she shares Astoria's sentiments to a degree, she's chosen to value their blood above her own morals and convictions. It's so interesting seeing the contrast between what the sisters' choices, especially as Daphne claims to have forgiven their father (yet can't acknowledge him as her father) while Astoria refuses to.

 

I love the relationship between Astoria and Draco here, and your explanation for how their friendship initially started. It's very different from my headcanon, but it's totally believable here, and I love how relatable Astoria is when she snips at Draco a little about what he's done (I mean... I wouldn't be able to resist, either). Even though it's not explictly mentioned, the fact that they have a close friendship despite Draco's past and Astoria's awareness of it goes to show that her feelings here are valid and reasonable, as well as dropping hints about Gareth's attitude before we meet him.

 

And then oh, that Azkaban scene. As someone with difficult relatives myself, I could completely understand and empathise with Astoria's floundering when confronted with the reality of saying the hard things that need to be said. You wrote that scene really well and highlighted the difficulty. Gareth Greengrass' insistence that he was doing it for his family really showed how hard it was for Astoria to speak up, because yes, he meant well (assuming he's telling the truth) but good intentions don't nullify bad choices.

 

I loved the difference in Astoria at the beginning of the one-shot, where she feels low and envies Daphne's confidence, and then at the end, where she's had the courage to make a hard decision that will affect her for the rest of her life. You've portrayed her growth really well, and I loved how you peppered in little hints about her life during DH, such as working with Dumbledore's Army and then at the Battle of Hogwarts, and I really want to read a fic about DH-Astoria so, so badly.

 

This was such an incredible read, and I'm so glad we swapped! <3



Author's Response:

hi, isobel!

hahaha that was definitely *not* an intentional pun, so thank you for pointing out the mistake!

i'm so glad you enjoy my take on astoria. a lot of it is what i've derived from fics that i love, so i can't take full credit - i love the idea of her joining dumbledore's army, and it gives her and draco a good foundation of understanding if they're both on the wrong side of the war, but the opposite of our heroes. they're such an interesting dynamic to me so i'm glad that you enjoyed that as well

you're absolutely right, and that's kind of the point that i wanted to drive home. family doesn't nulify bad choices, and i'm so sorry that you've had to deal with difficult relatives to a point where you can understand what astoria's going through. i'm glad that you thought i did the scene well to highlight the turmoil that astoria is in when she goes to see her family at azkaban

i'm so glad you enjoyed this story and thank you so much for the wonderful & thoughtful review! ♥



Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 02 Mar 2020 12:56 AM · For: Unforgivable

Hello, hello, Jill! <3


I don’t know that I’ve ever read a story featuring Astoria from you?? But oh wow you should definitely consider writing more!! She is everything I love—bookworm-y, steadfast, stubborn, self-aware—and I very much want to read more of your interpretation of her! Before I properly start, I wanted to mention that there’s a typo in the first paragraph that was highly amusing to me because it created a pretty fab pun, haha: you said “feet” rather than “feat” while talking about running in high heels. :P A rather fitting slip, in my opinion!


The cold atmosphere between the two sisters breaks my heart. Older siblings should always be taking care of the younger, but here it looks like Astoria has prematurely grown a hard shell of individuality, because her older sister has neither the thoughtfulness nor openminded-ness to think about why Astoria is on the side of Harry Potter. It’s so striking because the relationship between Daphne and Astoria is like a miniature representation of the larger connection between Astoria and the remainder of her family—they ignore/look down upon her for having turned her back on them, which really does make it a very dysfunctional relationship, so you really succeeded with Kevin’s challenge here!


That meeting between Astoria and her father in Azkaban was so heartbreaking! I kid you not, I read the chapter right before heading to a meeting, and literally the entire time I was walking to and from the building, I was mulling over the implications of that scene. :P Essentially, Astoria has disowned her entire family, which is definitely monumental. The most devastating part is that she feels it, too—her breakdown in the Azkaban corridor shows how much family also meant to her, and how much it pains her to sever that connection. The most conflicting thing for me is that I kind of really understand where her family is coming from, that they feel betrayed by her abandonment. I know that if one of my sisters ever did something horrible and awful, I would still be there for them, even if it’s with a disapproving air, because my love for them doesn’t change necessarily. I definitely think there are exceptions—say, a spouse finds out some horrifying secret about their significant other, or abuse is a factor—but overall I kind of get where the Greengrasses are coming from. Though I do think they’re rather hypocritical on that front, given their treatment of Astoria. I know that there’s a very common saying that family is who you choose them to be, but I feel a little at a loss at the idea of abandoning my blood family for any reason. WHEW, this story inspired a lot of Thoughts, didn’t it? :P I really appreciate it, and I think that it’s a really careful, nuanced depiction of rough familial relationships!


I also greatly want to express how much I LOVE the dynamic between Draco and Astoria—any couple that can sit together in silence without feeling uncomfortable is exactly my kind of couple. :P And the intimacy of their touches!! Those little moments of touches made my heart go all pitter-patter haha, I adooored them! I have found that you totally don’t need heavy makeout sessions to make my heart implode, just simple hand touches are enough, hahaha. They have their disagreements but overall are incredibly supportive and understanding of one another, and I love them!! More Astoria and Draco, please? :P


You did such a phenomenal job with this!


Love,

 

Eva



Author's Response:

oh my god, eva, i love your reviews so much XD

yes, this is my first astoria fic! and thank you so much for catching that mistake; you're actually the first one to point it out, and it was accidental, but i think i might leave it in just for posterity :D 

i'm so glad you enjoyed the relationship between daphne and astoria. and you're right; she really does reflect the family as the whole, as they look down on her and how they all sort of keep each other at arm's length. older sisters are definitely supposed to take care of the younger ones, but you're right; because of who she is, astoria ended up sort of taking care of and looking after herself 

haha i'm so glad that this story impacted you in such a deeper way, and i think i'm with you on that. if someone in my family did something horrible, i'm not sure how i would react, but i don't think my love for them would change, either. astoria is different, though, and while she might love her family, she can't condone their actions, and maybe she just doesn't want to - but whatever choice she chooses, she's breaking her own heart

and i'm so thrilled that you enjoyed draco & astoria as well, since it was my first time writing them. i didn't want them to be together but i wanted to show how it was very possible they could and would end up together in the long run, and i'm so glad you enjoyed their dynamic and small touches and everything

thanks so much for another wonderful review! ♥



Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 01 Mar 2020 06:59 PM · For: Unforgivable

Hi Jill! I’m here for CMDC Round 3 :D

 

I know what you’re talking about when Astoria thinks that the sound of high heels clicking on the floor spells power. I also feel that intimidation when I hear that sound. And I like that you start with that and build that feeling until we get this disagreement between Daphne and Astoria. I can understand why Daphne doesn’t want to have to take the heat from their father, but I can also understand why Astoria wouldn’t want to be there for it either—and it sounds like she has reasons to avoid him.

 

I really like this scene between Draco and Astoria. They both understand each other in ways that nobody else can, because they are hated by both sides. Their families and the other purebloods hate them for being ‘traitors’ and the rest of the world hates them because they were born into the families that they were born to. But Astoria hits the nail on the head when she points out that they aren’t villains—they were just born on the wrong side of the war. Considering all that, I’d say they did pretty well.

 

This final scene with the Greengrass family is so sad! I appreciate that Astoria didn’t ask for forgiveness—and I agree with that choice. And I understand why she wouldn’t want to absolve her father’s actions—they were wrong. But I can also feel the pain of the family that it had to come to this point. It’s sad that the family had to rip itself apart because of the father’s actions.

 

This is a really fine story!

 

Yours,

Noelle



Author's Response:

hey noelle! thanks for stopping by :)

honestly, heels sound so powerful on the right floor! and i'm glad that both of the sister's dynamics were understandable and that you could see both sides to them. she definitely has her reasons for avoiding him and i'm glad that was shown well

you're definitely right about draco and astoria -- considering everything they've been through, they've managed to do all right for themselves in the end, especially since they both have each other to lean on

thanks so much for the review and i'm glad you enjoyed the story! ♥



Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 01 Mar 2020 09:46 AM · For: Unforgivable

Hi Jill!

 

Ah, this was a wonderful story!  I was so intrigued when I began reading this and realised that Astoria wasn't on the best terms with her family, especially since I knew that this had been nominated for Best Family.  But I think this did a fantastic job of reminding us that family isn't always loving and kind - sometimes it's messy and complicated and people have conflicting worldviews, and (sometimes unfortunately) that's still family.

 

Your characterisation in this piece was spot on.  I loved Astoria - her defiance, her confidence that she did the right thing, even though her family all see her as traitors.  And then when we see her with Draco we get to see more understanding and softness in her, which was a really nice contrast to the hard, bold persona she's portraying for her family.  (Side note: I'd love to read a Draco/Astoria story by you after reading this!)

 

The opening scene with Daphne was really interesting - Astoria's defiance definitely caught my attention, but I'll be honest, I thought initially that Astoria was just refusing to go to a family dinner or something.  I didn't even stop and consider that her father might be in Azkaban and she was refusing to go and visit him there (not that I can blame her).  The conversation with Draco was so intriguing because it shows how much reflection he's done on family and his own role in the war, and he was the perfect person to give her that advice - much calmer and less rigid in his views than Daphne.  I couldn't help but feel sorry for and impressed by Astoria in that final scene, though.  I really liked her refusal to play along with her family's perception and understanding of what family is, and the way she cut herself off from being a Greengrass.  That's a really brave move, especially for someone so young, but it fit her character here so well.

 

Sian :)



Author's Response:

sian! ♥

that's exactly the family dynamic that i was looking for when i wrote this fic; they're still family, even when they mess up and do bad things and are on potentially the wrong side of the war. and i'm so glad you enjoyed my characterisation of astoria, here -- i'm always hesitate when i write someone new, and someone well loved in the fandom, so i'm so glad that people seem to be enjoying her defiance and confidence. both qualities were really important for me to show here (and that does seem to be the general consensus so maybe i'll dabble :P)

oooh, interesting that you thought she was just refusing to go to a family dinner, but no, it's definitely bigger than that. i'm glad you liked her refusal in the end, and that you found her brave and in character

thanks so much for the lovely review! ♥



Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 29 Feb 2020 02:26 PM · For: Unforgivable

Hi, I'm here for the CMDC, round #3. Congrats on your nomination!

First I love the introduction of the heels as power and how Astoria thinks she doesn’t have that power. She’s right, she doesn’t, but I felt like she found her own type of power in the end, perhaps not on the surface, but underneath, more powerful, because you concluded with she did the right thing even if it broke her own heart.


I thought this story quite nicely paralleled Draco’s story sixth year. At first he was braggadocious, convinced he could complete the Dark Lord’s commands easily. Likewise Astoria was very arrogant that she could just “switch sides” and break away from the family without any emotional turmoil. An occurrence which of course is far from the truth and you showed the gut-wrenching decision making well.


Draco said that Astoria didn’t need to ask for her father’s forgiveness but she should visit him. I wonder if he was expecting her to make her declarations against her family or if he thought more that she should go, not to seek forgiveness but rather to try to forgive.

 

Either way, her decision was made. I wonder in the long run-at Christmas, at graduation, at her wedding if she will think she made the correct decision. 



Author's Response:

hey there, thank you so much! 

ahaha, you're not the only one to love the introduction of powerful heels and i'm glad that's something that resonate with you. and you're right, she definitely found her own type of power underneath, even if it meant breaking her own heart

i think i originally intended for draco to realize that it was important for astoria to go and see her father, but not necessarily ask/seek his forgiveness. he recognizes the importance of family, as they all do, and i think that's more what i was going for when he said that. and you're right, it does fit quite nicely with draco's sixth year; i liked the idea that he wasn't the only one struggling with what's right and what's expected of him

those are very interesting points! if i ever write more astoria, i'll definitely think about those moments and see if she still thinks she made the right one

thanks for the review! ♥



Name: RonsGirlFriday (Signed) · Date: 29 Feb 2020 08:11 AM · For: Unforgivable

Hi Jill! Here for CMDC Round 3!


I think you get at something really poignant here, which is that, when someone in your family does wrong -- even something truly, objectively wrong -- it doesn’t mean it’s automatically easy to break with them, to cut them out. We can all agree that what Astoria’s father supported was horrific, but Astoria’s internal struggle with this is understandable. She knows intellectually that he doesn’t deserve forgiveness just by virtue of being her father -- that she gets to choose who to align herself with -- but it’s still a struggle emotionally. It’s not easy to just tell someone they’re not your family anymore. And this is a situation that happens in real life all the time; it could be any person whose parent, sibling, etc., is in prison for doing something awful.


I’ve read a couple of fics by now that characterize Astoria as having fought against Voldemort in the Battle, and/or having been part of Dumbledore’s Army. Frankly it’s been a few years since I fully re-read the books, so at this point I’ve lost track of whether that was canon or I’ve just read some very convincing fics! So all this is to say, if this is not canon and is just your take on her character, then I enjoy what you have done with her here.


I enjoyed her interactions with Draco, the fact that he’s really the only person who truly knows what she’s going through, fitting in now neither with her family (because she opposed Voldemort) nor with the rest of the wizarding world (because she’s from a family that supported Voldemort). The line about “we were born on the wrong side of the war” was very nice.


I thought the last few lines of the story really drove it home -- that just because something is the right thing to do, doesn’t mean it’s easy, and even that it’s okay to experience that turmoil.

 

Melanie



Author's Response:

hi melanie! 

i'll be honest, i'm kind of in the same boat with you when it comes to astoria's character. i'm not sure, exactly, if it's something from the books but it seems to be a pretty well-received headcanon, so i took it and ran with it. and then when the prompt for kevin's challenge and dysfunctional families came about, it seemed too fitting to ignore. so i'm glad that you enjoyed the dynamics there, particularly with her interactions with draco. i really feel like they're the only two who can understand what the other is going through, and to me, it's nice that they have someone in their corner to relate to

and yes, that's exactly the core of the fic. being family doesn't automatically equate forgiveness, and i'm glad you were able to see and understand astoria's turmoil. and you're right, it's definitely okay to struggle with it, even when you know it's the right thing. that makes it almost harder, when they're supposed to be your family

thanks so much for the wonderful review! ♥



Name: TidalDragon (Signed) · Date: 23 Jan 2020 04:40 AM · For: Unforgivable

Howdy!

 

I am finally here as I finish my reviews for this round! I have to admit that I was a bit intimidated when I saw a word count of nearly 6,000, but one of the things I loved the most about this was how easily readable those words were. Sometimes in news articles or anything else really, I find myself scrolling down saying 'how much longer?' But that never happened.

 

I really liked that you explored a post-war familial relationship. I feel like families aren't actually explored that often and that's especially true for the Greengrass family unless it's tangential to the canonical Draco/Astoria pairing. Exploring not just the direct conflict between Astoria and her father, but the broader conflict between personal identity and family through her relationship with Daphne in particular was a strong inclusion and I appreciated the extra depth.

 

One of the other aspects that I REALLY enjoyed was the use of third-person limited with Astoria as something of an unreliable narrator. Though it's made more explicit by other characters in the story - Daphne, Draco, and her father - Astoria has created a reality that isn't exactly in line with the circumstances. She gives a free pass to Draco for similar conduct (albeit on a smaller scale) that leads to her severing all ties with her family and more specifically her father. She doesn't seem to fully appreciate the situations of people around her and in her father's case doesn't even seem to try. Perhaps it's her youth, perhaps it's subconsciously altering her actions and views to fit into a frame that she can live with.

 

Finally, I loved the ending with the Dad v. Daughter showdown. Specifically I enjoyed the ultimate ambiguity of her father's claims he committed horrible acts to save her - to save the family. We are left to live with Astoria's takeaway, but is there truth to what he says? She's pronounced them lies and likely wouldn't attend the trial so we never really get that absolutely closure.

 

Thanks for sharing!



Author's Response:

hey, kevin!

i'm so glad that the 6k wordcount didn't intimidate you. when i originally set out to write this fic, i didn't intend for it to be that long. it all just started to spill out naturally, especially with the drastoria scene, so i'm glad it ended up reading that way as well

honestly, post-war relationships are so interesting to me, especially those kids on the slytherin side. we often see how our heroes interact, but not so much those who were deemed to be the 'villains', y'know? but they're still human and they still had to make decisions, too. and i'm glad you enjoyed not only the interactions with astoria and her father, but with daphne was well; i really wanted to show how the dad's decisions and actions affected both of them

haha, honestly, i hadn't really considered astoria an unreliable narrator when i wrote her, but you're right, and i'm glad that extra depth worked in its favor for this story. but i'm so glad that in the end, you enjoyed the ambiguity and lack of closure and their final scene - i wanted y'all to walk away with that grey area so i'm glad it played out that way

thanks for the wonderful review and the fun challenge! ♥



Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 28 Dec 2019 05:58 PM · For: Unforgivable

Jill! Hello, dear! I'm here for your wishlist! Happy holidays! :D

Ah, I so loved this! Well, maybe loved is not the right word, but you know what I mean...

Poor Astoria... it is so heartbreaking that she had to give up on her family... I'm proud of her, but also it's so terribly sad that it had to go that way... I love the concept of how sometimes doing the right thing can break you. You always assume that doing the right thing will make you feel better, and maybe it will in the long run, but it can be so incredibly hard at first.

Your characterization of everyone and the way you wrote all the relationships here was brilliant! You are always so good at writing well rounded, real, flawed characters and complex and sometimes toxic relationships. The interactions between Astoria and Daphne were exceptional, you can tell there is a desire to reconnect there from them both, but they just see things through too different viewpoints and can't really understand each other. Draco was just spectacular, too! He's so broken and so filled of guilt, but I love that he and Astoria are like staples for each other, even if they don't share everything... just because they've been raised to never show weakness [insert eyeroll here] I wish they would communicate a bit better... but I suppose Draco did give Astoria the right advice, after all, and that's definitely something.

I'm so angry at Astoria's father on her behalf... on the other hand, I can sort of see his viewpoint, too? But he did do horrible things, and I'm so glad Astoria was able to distance herself from it all, as painful as it might be... some things can't be forgiven, and shared blood doesn't matter anymore.

On a different note, your description of Azkaban was incredible! So terrifying and depressing at the same time. I could almost feel the coldness and the horror there... and the image of Gareth and how much he'd changed in such a short time... it's really terrible... :(

(Btw, I've always imagined that there would be human guards other than Dementors in Azkaban, too, because I can't imagine Dementors managing the place completely independently, and I love you have something similar here, too... I have a scene planned for Jimmy 3 that is set in Azkaban and my headcanon is very close to yours, so I like it a lot! :P)

I'm sure there are a lot of things I should comment on and I haven't... buit just, great job with this, it's a brilliant story! <3

Snowball hug and happy holidays!

Chiara



Author's Response:

hey, chiara! 

it really is sad when you have to sort of go against your family and what they think is right. and i really wanted to explore that in this story; that sometimes you don't feel the immediate relief of doing something right, but you know that eventually, you will feel better and can eventually move on and learn how to be happy with the choices that you made

eep, i'm glad you thought the relationship between astoria and daphne was exceptional - i mean, really, you're making me blush a bit :P they're just too different, but deep down they know they are sisters and that's meant something to them over the course of time and the course of the war. draco is so difficult to write, too - honestly, all these slytherin characters are - so i'm very pleased you thought that they were real and raw. the characters are what can make or break a story to me, so their characterizations are always really important

hehehe, was this to make y'all think you can see both points? XD it certainly was! so i'm glad that worked out. and you're right; shared blood doesn't always matter

i'm glad you liked the descriptions of azkaban! it really seems like an awful place whenever sirius would describe it in the books, so i'm glad that you thought i could do them justice. and oooh, an azkaban scene in jimmy 3? this has me intrigued, i am not gonna lie!

thanks so much for the wonderful review! ♥



Name: Ineke (Signed) · Date: 22 Dec 2019 09:59 PM · For: Unforgivable

Hiya! Here to leave you some holiday cheer <3 Hope you have a great holiday season!

 

Honestlyyyyy I can only agree with Astoria here. I rarely wear heels (and if I do theyre immediately like 8cm and while its more like a block its still huge and my feet kill me almost instantly), and the act that people can run in them is just beyond me.

Now I wonder what happened in her fifth year tbh.

Oh this is seriously typically older-younger sibling squabble, especially when there’s something going on what parents said was a must.

She’s so certain.

I don’t think it’ll be possible to return to Hogwarts like everything is normal, not after what happened in May.

Astoria is not spending too much time with Draco thank you very much, she’s excellent for him.

YAS GO DRACO. DEFY EVERYTHING.

No that’s not a good enough reason, Daphne. Family is forced upon you, not chosen, and you’re certainly not obligated to forgive them if they hurt you.

Books are absolutely brilliant and an excellent way to escape, I second you Astoria.

SCREW THE FAMILY, ASTORIA. SCREW THEM. STICK WITH WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN.

Excellent point there.

Yknow, that’s a great way to spend time. Just sitting there, reading, enjoying eachothers company without needing to say anything.

I love their conversation. It’s so fitting for their age and what they went through but it still shows the absolute comfort they have in eachother.

YES ASTORIA, DEFEND LUNA. YES.

Now you’re breaking my heart.

And now I’m loving this. The way she makes him say it again, while also humoring him with it.

I’m truly loving their conversation so much, and how well they know eachother and can seem to amuse the other.

Just tell them where to stuff it, Astoria. Break with them. I’m with Draco here - you’re better.

Lol, his comment about getting wise in the last five minutes. love it.

I love this moment there on the couch so much oh my god my heart.

YES YOU DO DESERVE BETTER.

YES GO ASTORIA.

i hardly think his opinion matters YESSSSS

Look, I feel for Astoria, but she did the right thing and she can be proud of herself and Draco can be proud of her and she can become happy again. She can do it. She is strong enough, even if it doesn’t feel that way. I def need more Drastoria from you, please <3 And happy holidays!




Author's Response:

oh my god, ineke, what a delight this live review was to read XD

and yes, i 100% think that heels represent power because as a short person, that's how i feel whenever i hear my heels (even short boot ones) click against a wood. bahaha, i'm glad that you approve of my draco and astoria, and you're right; they're spending just enough time together because they're adorable and perfect for each other and i will take no criticism on this

ooop, sorry to break your heart? they really do know each other so well, though, and that's how they can relate. i feel like astoria's one of the few characters who understands what draco's been through, and vice versa, and i'm glad they have each other to lean on

"i hardly think his opinion matters" you are 1000% right but this had me cackling. i'm so glad you have faith in her!

thank you so much for this wonderful review ♥



Name: victoria_anne (Signed) · Date: 19 Nov 2019 06:24 PM · For: Unforgivable

Hey Jillybean! So happy to be back on your page reading a brand new story! And it's so good, ahh!

 

I really, really enjoyed this! I'm amazed at how much you managed to pack into a short story and still have read conherently and have a satisfying ending. I absolutely love Astoria, and even though this is your first attempt at writing her, I think you've done a good job at sticking to what we know but also putting your own spin on her. She's a good fit because she's the tortured character you excel at writing :P 

 

Her family life is so sad and tense--I think you wrote every Greengrass really well and in a realistic way. Daphne and Astoria really read as sisters to me, especially sister who don't agree. And they really spoke of family with the fact that Astoria still lives with them even though they don't agree with what she's done. That's family!

 

And Draco, ahh! I love these two as a pairing, and you've really captured the reason why I love them--that they have so much in common and they stick together because of it. It's in that scene with Draco where I really felt the pain both have gone through, especially in sixth year.  You wrote that really well.

 

This story is so emotional, but I loved watching Astoria go through her waves of emotions an come out stronger on the other side. She finally confronted her father, but now she has to deal with that. That was a really emotional scene as well, and I love that you didn't make it all sunshine and rainbows. What she did was really hard, and you showed the effect of that.

 

Really enjoyed this!



Author's Response:

hello, b! so good of you to stop by!

i'm so glad you enjoyed my first take on astoria. i wasn't really sure how i wanted to write her at first, but i'm happy with the outcome because she's always seemed like an outliar of her family, and it made me curious as to what her relationship with daphne and the others would be like after the war. and you know i'm a sucker for dysfunctional families, so obviously forgiveness and whether or not astoria's dad had earned her forgiveness was something not really explored in fic before. at least, not ones that i've read. and i'm glad that you think they're realistic -- i much prefer sisters/siblings who don't necessarily get along but still share a bit of a bond

aww, yeah, it was really fun writing drastoria for this. i'm glad you liked them! i might have to revisit them sometime

yeah, making it all sunshien and rainbows was really important to me, because just because they're your family doesn't mean you have to forgive them, y'know? so that's kinda that direction i wanted to take in this fic and i'm glad you enjoyed it

thank you so much for the wonderful review! ♥



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