Name: PinsandKneazles (Signed) · Date: 24 Jul 2021 01:01 PM · For: Do It In My Bed

OMG!! Way to rip my heart out, tear it into pieces and throw it on the floor. I love this - it's so painfully beautiful. I am crying for Molly and the futility of her relationship and boiling over in anger at the casual, disrespectful way in which Cedric is hurting her.

 

I love the bitter, yet hopeful opening paragraph. Where there are two dinner plates set, there's always hope, right? Even though she's battling with herself and she knows she deserves better, she's still hanging on. Is it fear of the unknown, or the upheaval, that keeps her clinging to this relationship? Because he won't change, even if he says he will; that behaviour is ingrained and at the next hint of difficulty or boredom or routine, you can be sure he'll revert. Get rid, girl.

 

OMG I want to rip Cedric's head off for all his pathetic lines and excuses, and the way he's keeping her emotionally invested in this relationship. What a narcissistic POS he is. PLEASE tell me Molly eventually gathers the strength to leave this horribly toxic relationship?

 

Amazing job writing this. I felt every sentence.

 

Pins x

Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 07 Dec 2020 11:34 AM · For: Do It In My Bed

Wow Lo! This one-shot totally blew me away! It is full of angst and you really feel the darkness of the flat and how it encapsulates Molly's mood as she remuniates on this relationship gone wrong. You really capture the nuances and complexities that arise in a relationship where two people are holding on and they probably shouldn't be. But both characters have different motivations for staying together so it seems. 

 

Also the smut ("Good sex bro,") is excellent! You feel Molly's anguish and desperation to connect with Cedric. They're going through the delicious mechanics of the act, but without intimacy it leaves her feeling empty. I kind of explored a similar theme in one of my fics, but it was more of a concern one of the characters had and it never fully came to fruition. Here I see this unfold and it broke a piece of my heart. I think you really capture this sentiment well with this line in particular: "I would call it making love except that there's no love in the disconnect."  Like ouch, but so realistic. 

 

And this part too was also particularly striking. "I can only answer with a kiss because my heart is soaring and my head is spinning. If only for a moment, I believe you. But then you turn away from me and the illusion is shattered."

 

You keep us guessing about what's going no with Cedric until the end. And then when you reveal he's cheating on Molly, it almost feels as heartbreaking as if we are the character. I think your choice of first person certainly helps us connect more deeply with her. Well done! 

<3 Courtney 

Name: shadowycorner (Signed) · Date: 23 Jun 2020 11:25 PM · For: Do It In My Bed

Oh my god and holy shit this had a steady but effective way of ruining me all the way from the beginning to the end. This is going to be the hardest review in my middle of the night insane run because this was heartbreakingly stunning where do i begin??

 

The writing, just the very basic idea of it, was so wonderful here. I love your words, I really do, and the way you describe things and feelings. And the story itself, the EMOTION, is just so intense and feels real that if it weren't for the magic, this could stand so well on its own outside of fanfic. Even the little magical additions don't necessarily have to be HP, rather like manifestations of Molly's inner turmoil. The wine throw, the clock (ok the clock is very HP but you KNOW WHAT I MEAN RIGHT).

 

I felt like I recognized early on that this was gonna end in heartbreak, that there is a trap there, partly of Molly's own making but that's how it goes, but then that ending still punched me, and I feel so much for her and want to curse this cedric dude and the names that slip out and get out into that live colorful street and be free.

 

agghghgh so many emotions, i was not ready for this, this was fantastic!

 

Eli (june rvg)

Name: Unwritten Curse (Signed) · Date: 16 Jun 2020 06:50 PM · For: Do It In My Bed

JUST BREAK MY HEART, LO. JUST RIP IT OUT AND THROW IT ON THE FLOOR.

 

But for real, this is stunning. The description is beautiful and it makes everything so much more painful. The candles, the wine, the snow falling gently outside--it's all so romantic and the fact that this jerkface doesn't recognize it makes me furious. Molly does so much for him and he only takes advantage.

 

And Molly's feelings, how she's at war with herself, yeah... I just want to reach through the screen and tell her that she is worthy of love. I hate that she's gotten to this point where she believes this is all she deserves. It's almost like the more he betrays her, the more she feels like she needs to prove to him that she's worth it, and I hate that she feels that way, but I know it's a real thing and so I think this fic is important. Because it shows how we can lose ourselves and our self-worth, and how dangerous it is to look for that in others.

 

OH, and when you listed the names of all the girls he'd cheated on her with, I almost lost it. WTF. One is bad enough, but FOUR? I. Will. Kill. Him.

 

It's amazing to me that you've made me care so much about Molly in such a short fic and I think that is a testament to your ability as a writer. Her emotions and thoughts are so complex and authentic that I can't help but care about her. The bit about modifying the watch and how that somehow made this all her fault--I just...

 

MY HEART.

 

I'm gonna go drink some warm tea and cuddle my kitties now.

 

xx Gina

Name: Noelle Zingarella (Signed) · Date: 21 May 2020 02:38 AM · For: Do It In My Bed

Hi Lo! I’m here for swapping :D

 

Speaking of people who need their cars keyed—I’d like to but Cedric on the list please.

 

This story is gripping, grabbing the heart and not letting go until it’s ripped out of the reader’s chest.

 

From the opening with the evocative description of the snow and how it’s a physical manifestation of Molly’s pain I’m drawn into her world. I can’t blame her for drinking to cover the pain of her cheating partner, and I can’t blame her for clinging to him—pretending she doesn’t know about his infidelity when she does. 

 

It made me very sad when she was beating herself up—trying to take some of Cedric’s blame by saying that if she hadn’t charmed her watch to tell her where he was all the time, then she wouldn’t be hurt by it—and so it’s sort of her fault. I feel that she’s trying to take some control of this situation that’s really out of her control. She’s also trying to take some control when she leaves out the dinner dishes, knowing that he will lie about having forgotten their plans, but also knowing that he’ll be nicer because he feels guilty. She can’t force him to be faithful—she can only control herself. And since she’s not ready to leave—or to confront him and deal with the unknowns that would come with that conversation—she tries to take some control back in these little ways.

 

I couldn’t look away the whole time I was reading this. It packs a solid punch.

 

Nice work here.

 

Yours,

Noelle

Author's Response:

Name: ImaRavenclaw (Signed) · Date: 18 May 2020 09:27 PM · For: Do It In My Bed

Hi Hi! It's me here for our review swap. Thank you for reviewing Whose Are These? It totally reminded me that I had to stop dicking around and come here to review your story! I've really been meaning to come here sooner but life has been so busy. You know what I mean?
 
Okay, on to the story! I really enjoyed the first chapter of Fatal Pleasures so I am really excited about this. I left you a review there a while back for another swap with some questions and I'd be really interested to hear your answers! I really like your descriptions of Molly watching people on the street. The description of the candles is also really nice. The way you contrast her head and her heart is well done.
 
I am kind of wondering who she is waiting for. 
 
Cedric? Heh. I am little confused. I know that it's a British name and that it can be used elsewhere. But if this isn't some kind of strange AU and you're not talking about Cedric Diggory, I would suggest changing to name lol. I think it can definitely be more confusing with a name like that that's so ingrained in the HP fan's mind than a more common name even if it's still HP related. Like Bill or Charlie for example are easier to separate from their characters than Hermione, Cedric, or Remus. 
 
I have to say that I'm not normally one for straight smut. I'm usually always reading slash if I'm reading explicit sex. But you did this really well in my opinion. I thought it was really well-written, especially all of the descriptions.
 
I'd really like more backstory though. The ending is a little bit confusing and ambigious. 
 
Overall the story is amazing! Thanks for doing this swap with me and thanks for such a great read. 

Name: down-in-flames (Signed) · Date: 11 May 2020 11:59 PM · For: Do It In My Bed

here for swap and lack of rvg-related chill :P

 

ok so i’ve heard this song a lot before so i knew this was gonna be sad/angsty, and you definitely delivered.

 

you set the scene so well, with molly waiting for cedric and knowing the truth about where he is and why he’s not here yet, just drinking away at a bottle of wine and concealing the fact that she knows exactly where he is and what he’s been doing. (that’s some clever magic, by the way, modifying her magical watch to see that her boyfriend’s cheating on her. we see in fatal pleasures that she’s clearly a pretty bright witch given that she got into the auror training program, but both the watch and her proficiency with windless magic show a lot of that here as well.)

 

she’s definitely a bit of a masochist, isn’t she? it fits with the theme of the song a lot, that willingness to inflict pain on herself rather than to admit that she knows the truth and end the relationship. but honestly, i kind of want to punch cedric in the face. i didn’t really have super strong feelings about him in fatal pleasures, but…. yeah. now i kinda hate him, lol. what an asshole. i hope he gets some sort of karmic retribution in the novel.

 

ok so my favorite sentence of this is 0% appropriate for a review because it’s definitely m-rated, but just know that the sentence that starts with “My body is on fire but my blood is made of ice” is absolutely my fave in this whole piece - it’s so delightfully full of metaphors and description and…. *chef’s kiss*

 

also!! i really enjoy the point-of-view here, where you’re addressing cedric as ‘you’ the entire time - i feel like that’s not a style of writing i read all that much but it really fits so perfectly here. it really does a great job of throwing the reader straight into the story.

 

this whole thing was wonderful, i loved this exploration of their relationship and i’m sure you’ll have to deal with me shitting on cedric in pretty much every review on fatal pleasures from here on out, i’m sorry but also not sorry. :P

 

-taylor

Name: Theia Luna (Signed) · Date: 11 May 2020 09:06 AM · For: Do It In My Bed

Hello! The title of your story caught my attention in the RvG thread (which, by the way, you're my first RvG review!) so I really wanted to check it out, and I'm so happy I did! Because wow, what an emotional read. 

The way you wrote this, it literally brought out feelings I had long forgotten I had. You can almost feel what Molly feels in that moment, suspended with intensity and silent grief, you can't help but want to take her out of the relationship yourself.

"I would call it making love, except theres no love in the disconnect" amazing. I might have to quote you in my own personal journal, that was so damn beautiful. I seriously can't get over it, I keep rereading it. 

More to the point, the entire story was amazing. Beautifully written piece. 

 

Name: TidalDragon (Signed) · Date: 10 May 2020 02:40 PM · For: Do It In My Bed

Howdy!

 

I am here for my part of our swap! This story is just tragic, Lo and I feel it deep in my soul. I think these feelings ring true for anyone who's every been the victim of this kind of relationship, which unfortunately made it ring particularly true to me. You packed the history and pain into a small package with a real punch - from the horrible feeling of having planned something amazing and the other person letting you down and lying about it to the - we'll call it fake-up sex - that brings the victim coming back for more.

 

The first person is what really made this thing most powerful for me because the story is something you have to feel - or try to make others feel - a kind of feeling that can't truly be experienced from an 'outside' perspective. It also made the little touches like the modified clock (horrible, but a great inclusion) have more impact.

 

I havent heard or read the song, but I really liked the story! Thanks for sharing (and swapping)! 

Name: mymischiefmanaged (Signed) · Date: 10 May 2020 10:22 AM · For: Do It In My Bed

Hello! Here for our swap. I loved chapter 1 of Fatal Pleasures so was excited to see that this is a prequel.

That opening paragraph is so powerful. At first I thought she was drinking the other glass of wine in front of her guest and just taking their drink, then when I realised she was by herself I wondered if she was grieving and had poured the extra glass out of habit, then finally figured out that she's disappointed and that her guest hasn't turned up. It's such a clever way to open the story.

The watch! That's such a perfect detail. Of COURSE Percy would want his daughter to have access to something like the Weasley clock. Although it must be frustrating to be able to see somebody's actions when things aren't going well.

The 'make it up to me' conversation is heartbreaking because it's obviously happened so many times before. I really understand Molly's confusion because maybe he does love her and is just unable to behave like it, or maybe he doesn't even understand his own feelings.

That ending! Poor Molly.

This was wonderful I'm so gald I read it. Can't wait for the next chapter of Fatal Pleasures! 

Emma x

Name: abhorsen (Signed) · Date: 09 May 2020 07:47 PM · For: Do It In My Bed

here for our swap + having no chill with rvg <3

oh good fucking god now i hate cedric with a blind and rageful passion, like i knew that he was kind of not ideal but now i'm just here like "dude go fuck yourself, you're a dick"

anywayyyyy

my own ire aside (ughhhh), i think you did an amazing job of capturing the mental state that so often goes along with a relationship that's falling apart - that constant push-pull between hurt feelings and denial and disappointment and... almost compulsion?? to find the good things to keep holding onto

even when the person is a lying cheating jerk who then greets you normally in auror training like they're not just the biggest fucking asshole who should feel guilty rather than "hi this is normal nbd" like fuck off yes it is ughhh

i also love the spin on "little death" here to be so full of heartache/heartbreak/just that feeling of being fucking lost - it's such a great end to a scene that's so full of emotion and conflicted feelings

ughhhh lo amazing job <3 <3 (although also now i legit hate cedric)

Author's Response:

Branwen!!!

 

I also kinda hate Cedric, even though I also kinda love him? I mean you're so right - he is not ideal. In the least. Whoops...

 

I'm really glad you enjoyed this (even if it is sad). Yeah the holding onto the good things is unfortunately something I'm all too familiar with, so I'm glad I was able to really convey that, because damn it sucks. And he is a totaly lying cheating jerk who may or may not get his comeuppance...

 

And yes! I was so proud of "little death" :P

 

I'm so happy you enjoyed it Branwen, even if it did make you hate Cedric :P

Lo <3

Name: grumpy cat (Signed) · Date: 09 May 2020 07:29 PM · For: Do It In My Bed

 

hey lo, here’s your resident gremlin for our swap!

 

aah so this is the molly&cedric backstory :eye_popping_emoji:

 

i find the relationship dynamic between the two of them fascinating. it’s almost as if molly is a masochist (too harsh a word but i can’t really think of a better one right now)  who enjoys (again, poor word choice lololo) *knowing* that he’s lying all the time, that he’s cheating, and it also gives her a certain type of power over him and/or their relationship. it’s like…she knows. she sits there, waits for him, drinks wine alone, knows *exactly* what he’s doing but she’s also in control…sort of. when he comes home, everything that happens after is again on her terms, even if it’s painful and makes her hurt and sad and she cries after they have sex, there’s still some small sliver of power and control over the entire situation. so it’s fascinating and kinda toxic and also i dig it a lot because i’m a lil fucked up like that :P

 

i loved your descriptions throughout the piece – they somehow fit perfectly the mood and the atmosphere of the story. everything is bleak, and dark and maybe grey with a pinch of wine-red, which is …fitting. the frustration molly feels about cedric not coming home, wanting him gone, the thoughts and anger culminating in the glass shattering was almost palpable, like i could touch it.

 

also i highkey love the watch detail and how it was a gift from her dad, totally reminiscent of the weasley clock in miniature, and then molly adds her own twist on it because it be like that – absolutely love it even if it’s, you know, totally sad and devastating knowing exactly when someone is lying to you, but it’s also…clever as fuck.

 

this line just perfectly summed up everything, i think – it’s very on point: ‘Every night I spend loving you ends up with another part of me lost, dead, and now I can't even recognize the girl staring back at me.’ and fatalistic and god now i want to see molly get her spark back because this really feels like it’s killing her slowly. in fatal pleasures she’s so vivid and so while this is devastating, i at least know things get way better. even though i also kinda shipped her with literally everyone, including cedric, in that first chapter lol :P

 

i loved reading this – it was so well written and showcased the failing/toxic relationship really really well. /also i know (i think? was this the story you mentioned in the discord gutter channel?) that it’s partially rl inspired and gahh that’s the worst and writing it out…idk if it helps. i write a lot from rl experiences and sometimes it’s good sometimes it’s just….very difficult. but at least it’s out there and well…

 

thanks for swapping with me *_*

 

kris