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in a nutshell

A blog by lebensmude in General

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Entries in this blog

writing and brainstorming

on lack of inspiration and fashion imitating life

for a few months now i have been feeling this itch to write. i want to write something. i want to work on my works in progress. i want to attempt original fiction that i know is going to be underwhelming and mediocre (because just about anyone seems to be publishing their work nowadays and i have to rank at least a little bit higher than them by this point to be honest). but the overwhelming problem i run into outside of just not being able to make myself sit down and actually start is that i am
lebensmude

lebensmude in writing and brainstorming

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writing and brainstorming

backstreet's back alright (except it's me not the backstreet boys and i'm fishing for ideas)

i think it's been like 4 years since i logged onto these forums so for a lot of people here i'm sure you're wondering who the hell is this??? and for everyone else who's been here the whole time, you're probably also wondering who the hell is this because historically i have not been the most charismatic or greatest carrier of conversations. but that is besides the point. although i start things i can't finish and having several works in progress sitting ignored for multiple years, i do sti
lebensmude

lebensmude in writing and brainstorming

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Thoughts

some thoughts on makeup

this post comes to you from a tumblr post i saw not five minutes ago about makeup and it sparked some of my own thoughts on the topic. when i was growing up my parents were very strict with me, and i think part of it stemmed from the fact that in my culture most girls, if they don't go to university after high school, end up married at 18 and with children. and it's a mindset that is so enforced that many girls don't really aspire to much beyond that, so i'm sure from their point of view, their
lebensmude

lebensmude in Thoughts

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Thoughts

a relationship between the amount of fanfiction and the engagement you can expect?

i've been thinking about this a lot lately so i wanted to put it out somewhere into the world. i think there's a relationship between the amount of fanfiction available for a fandom and the level of interaction or attention that you can expect from that fandom. i haven't written enough fanfiction for other smaller fandoms or bigger fandoms to be able to say this with absolute certainty but i do notice a trend between the amount of engagement i get in the harry potter fandom versus other fandoms
lebensmude

lebensmude in Thoughts

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shows

shadow and bone

i haven't been on the shadow and bone train as long as everyone else, i only recently got into it in the past couple of years at the latest but i immediately knew it was something i would've been obsessed with in high school and i still enjoyed it immensely. so i was beyond excited when i heard it was being turned into a show AND WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED BEN BARNES AS THE DARKLING. WHOOOOOO DADDY. but i digress. i recently binged the show because i didn't want to be spoiled by tumblr or twi
lebensmude

lebensmude in shows

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Thoughts

things to consider when choosing a therapist

i've been gone from the forums for months and i will definitely disappear again immediately after posting this but it was something i was thinking about and i wanted to talk about it. seeking out mental health help can be really difficult especially when you don't know what you should be looking for in a therapist so i thought i would share some things that i've learned throughout my courses and my degree in case anyone would find it of use. 1. do not go to your general practitioner for a d
lebensmude

lebensmude in Thoughts

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Thoughts

violence against women in media

tw: violence against women, assault something that i think about often is the graphic depiction of violence against women in literature, film, music or any form of art really. and this is probably not the sobering kind of contentyou probably want to think about with election night around the corner and yet i can't help it. i think many of us will agree that the depiction of violence against women (take a shot every time i say that phrase) is largely gratuitous. i can't count the amount of t
lebensmude

lebensmude in Thoughts

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author responses to reviews

as i was catching on the bajillion reviews that have been left to me over the last couple of years it got me thinking about author responses to reviews. do many of you on the site go back and look at the author responses to your reviews that you've left or are you the kind of reader where you drop the review and never bother to revisit it (unless of course there was a question in your review that you want to see an answer to or something of the sort)? personally myself, i'm more of the latt
lebensmude

lebensmude

4

farewell to my old stories

i sit here in my room, my tortoise shell glasses perched on the very tippy tip of my large nose (they truly could not be more on the edge) waiting for my vitamin c serum to dry so that i may finish the rest of my ridiculously long skincare routine, typing away about the goodbye i have said to a couple of my old stories on the archives. if you're wondering who i am that's no surprise because anyone who has seen my dumpster fire of a twitter knows that i am only on the forums one month every 2 yea
lebensmude

lebensmude

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the food chain of monsters of verity

spoilers for anyone who hasn't read the monsters of verity duology. i finished reading Our Dark Duet by Victoria Schwab yesterday and there’s one small detail that has been bothering me since yesterday that i can’t get out of my head. the food chain. see, my understanding of the food chain between humans, the malchai, the corsai, and the sunai is that the malchai feed off of human blood, but can’t feed on the blood of other monsters. similarly, the corsai can feed on humans but no
lebensmude

lebensmude

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i'm back again

hello y'all i'm back once again as it will come as no surprise to anyone. i usually resurface on the forums around this time of the year and then disappear again once september rolls around. what have i been up to i see literally no one ask? well that's a blog post for another day but if you've seen me shit posting on twitter then you probably know what's up. but i come here to make this blog post for another reason entirely. if you know me from my hpff days then you know that i had like 30
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lebensmude

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*sigh* tumblr is back at it again

i'm supposed to be working on this lab report that's due in like 1 day but i just had to stop by and waste my time so here we go. we're all on tumblr, so we're all familiar with the tendency that tumblr has with being up the ass of one celebrity one week and then completely turning against that celebrity en mass (i probably spelled that wrong but it's midnight) usually for no seemingly apparent reason. they did it with taylor swift and they did it with jennifer lawrence and occasionally they try
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don't be this participant

i'm a research assistant for a cognition lab and yesterday i was running this participant on an eye tracker but she couldn't take her glasses off because she's hella blind and i was like okay you can keep them on. the eyetracker doesn't like glasses, it glitches out pretty bad most of the time. so i couldn't get the eyetracker to work, her drift on the screen from the spot she was supposed to be looking at was so bad i couldn't even finish the calibration because it was just like,,,,,,not on the
lebensmude

lebensmude

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it's been a hot minute but let's talk about exo

hi it's me, in case anyone remembers i'm the one who kept posting blog entries during the summer because i had literally nothing to do and that's how i wormed my way back into the hpft community. i'm back at it again with yet another post that has nothing to do with writing or reading whatsoever. welcome.  in my defense i haven't totally disappeared off the face of the planet, i still check on the forums once in a while even though i just lurk, i just mostly scream into the void that's twit
lebensmude

lebensmude

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please help me pick out which story to start

so i'm finally giving into the temptation and starting another story and i know i can hear you all groaning for giving in but hear me out. once i finish my lily story and i start another one, i will be working on the same number of stories before and after so they all cancel out. it'll be fine. i'll put the title and a summary i have written down or just the idea of something and you lovely people can help me pick out which one i want to work on because i want to work on all of them. colorf
lebensmude

lebensmude

7

classics

i'm not talking about movies here, i'm talking about books. and i feel like this is a pretty common sense idea but i said this to one of my friends a few months ago and he responded with, "it's a classic for a reason." And I was just kind of like, "okay, but that doesn't automatically mean it's good." and he responded with, "but if it wasn't good it wouldn't be a classic." just because something is popular, doesn't mean it's good. sounds good. just because something is a classic doesn'
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lebensmude

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my short story problem

alright so in case you guys don't know, i have this short story collection type of thing on the archives of Lily Luna as a muggle enthusiast and uh i've only got like one chapter left of it after much thinking and i'm a little sad and disappointed. the thing is, i really wanted to make her adventures at hogwarts its very own novel wip but at the time when i started it i had a lot of stories going on and i did a lot of eliminating of what i wanted to focus on but i couldn't bear to put it away fo
lebensmude

lebensmude

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being too hard on yourself

i don't know why but for some reason i have always been under the impression that i'm a terrible writer. and to be fair, when i first started writing out, i truly was atrocious, like at that point in time it was fair to say to myself, wow this is really just,,,,,not good. but like most people i have found that over time, after you've written a lot of stuff, and read a lot of stuff, you get better, and eventually you find your voice and style of writing. but up until recently i was still convince
lebensmude

lebensmude

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like 8 years later ...

we are all familiar with starting a novel and getting maybe like 9 or 10 chapters in and then something happens to delay you from writing the rest of the story and it just doesn't get updated. maybe for weeks or months, or like me, even years on end. and you get your loyal readers asking to please update every few months because it has been literal years since something was updated. this was me. years ago i first joined the fanfiction community and i posted my literal worst piece of wr
lebensmude

lebensmude

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i love cold weather culture (in which i rant)

this topic has nothing to do with writing, which as anyone has probably noticed, is the general theme for almost all of these blog posts. but anyway, today i want to talk about, or i guess complain, about what i have dubbed i love cold weather culture. now i have nothing against cold weather i enjoy a nice rainy day and i enjoy winter (all -30 to -40 degrees celsius for 8 to 10 months of it) so i have nothing against cold weather. but do you ever find that whenever summer comes around and y
lebensmude

lebensmude

4

the diviners (aka i continue to yell into the void)

i've been a big fan of libba bray for some time now. i remember reading her gemma doyle trilogy and absolutely falling in love with it. and the absolutely wild ride that was beauty queens. going bovine was a pretty interesting book but not my favourite. i was really excited when i heard about the diviners series because for once i actually read the summary and it sounded like just the type of thing that i was interested in. i read it once when it came out and i've been meaning to read it ag
lebensmude

lebensmude

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my online presence is garbage (aka, i continue to ramble)

everyday i tell myself that i'm going to make more of an effort to be more present and active on the forums and like interact with people. and everyday i am fully aware that i'm lying to myself. what ends up happening is that i'm usually present for like a week, maybe 2 if i'm really making an effort, and then i just drop off the face of the planet. or at least the interwebs. and it's frustrating. in the brief period that i am on the forums, i become familiar with peoples usernames and
lebensmude

lebensmude

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i let my friend help me with my fanfiction

so today i made the executive decision to let my friend beta read my fanfiction. now, i'm sure all of you have experienced this at some point, but it's like an unspoken rule that you just never tell anyone that you know in real life that you write fanfiction, and you especially don't tell them where to find it or let them read it. i have broken that rule.  you see, after, i don't even know, something like, six or seven, maybe more, years i finally have decided to begin working on this
lebensmude

lebensmude

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the time i got hate mail on tumblr for having an unsavoury opinion of severus snape

So, the title is pretty self-explanatory but let me tell you about what exactly happened. As a side note, this is perhaps the only time in my life when I have received hate mail on tumblr in my entire time of being on there, which has been quite a few years. It's a little disappointing tbh because I find anonymous hate to be so entertaining. "What happened?" I hear you ask. Well, I was on tumblr, scrolling through my dash a few years ago, and I follow the Harry Potter tag, and I guess
lebensmude

lebensmude

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