Depression is a creature that lurks around at the back of your mind like an icy gooey substance until it engulfs all of sanity. By the time this happens, you're an entire different person. Funny thing is, at this most fragile state would your mind finally understand the nature of the people around you, plunging you even deeper into depression. 

I joined the fan fiction world in 2011, through HPFF. This was where I met my first real female friend. I had a serious case of insomnia and depression at the time but I refused to acknowledge either of the conditions. This was when a lovely person with the username "Maybe" posted on my profile offering a welcome note and a tour of the site. My friendship with Emily started with a simple PM. 

A couple months passed by and we were having an uninterrupted conversation via PM. The House Cup of 2012 brought us closer. It was not a mere House Cup like every year but it was the Triwizard Tournament that time. We had so much fun writing for all the challenges and she even took part in the podcast. I got closer to Summer, Beyond the Rain, Roxi and so many others. We were having daily conversations on Skype. Even after the tournament ended, we didn't stop talking on Skype. 

Due to our time differences Emily was always with me during night time and my insomnia went unnoticed. She introduced me to Doctor Who and we started to watch together on Skype. It was the best friendship I'd ever had. We got really close. 

Then it was time for me to go out to the real world. I kept missing her on Skype and we had no smart phones to WhatsApp or anything. I kept receiving her emails about how she missed me and I repeatedly emailed her about how I miss her. We barely had time to talk. 

After a while, when I finally got my life together on this end, I came looking for her on HPFF. She hadn't been around in a long while and her HPFF email wasn't working either. It was around this time that I realised how she had helped me get over depression. 

I made several efforts to come back to HPFF but ended up deleting my profile every single time. HPFF just wasn't HPFF without her. For me. 

It's been six years now and I still miss her like insane. I went through two depression cycles after that and it was not as easy as the first time. But I learned to handle it on my own. I guess I learnt to grow up in the end. 

I'm back now, hoping to start a new chapter in my writing life. I'm gonna put everything we planned into action, especially the novel. This way, I'd still have a portion of her with me for a very long time