sorting hat Sorting Good Omens (Show!Crowley and Aziraphale)
Note: I use the sortinghatchats system - +here’s (all links M to be safe) a link to their ‘basics’ post. To briefly summarize, though, they sort everyone on two different (and equally important) aspects of their personality: the first (your “primary” house) is why you do things, where the second (your “secondary” house) is how you do things. Right now, I'm obsessed with Amazon!Good Omens, so I'm gonna sort Crowley and Aziraphale.
Primary (the “why”)
There's a very strong culture of +Hufflepuff primaries in both Heaven and Hell, which makes this a little complicated. (I know! But hear me out.)
Hufflepuffs are loyal before they are good or right - or rather, they feel that being loyal and true to things or people that exist is more important than sticking to grander but more abstract ideals or concepts.
The "things" is really the key here. The angels and the demons are both remarkably disloyal to individuals within their community, but they're very loyal to the community itself. The single-mindedness with the angels and demons each prioritize their group and work to bring about Armageddon doesn't fit with any other primary - we see very little evidence of dissent and individuality (which you'd expect of +Gryffindor primaries), a willingness to question the system (which you'd expect of +Ravenclaw primaries), or genuine loyalty to individuals (which you'd expect of +Slytherin primaries). When Aziraphale raises questions about broader morality to Gabriel et al., he's invariably shot down. Neither side is concerned with what's right - just with what's most in line with their community.
I'm not saying that all the angels and demons are Hufflepuffs, but I think that anyone who fits in has, at the very least, learned to model this particular expression of Hufflepuff very well. It's a dark version of what a group of Hufflepuffs can be, but it is Hufflepuff.
However! Neither Crowley nor Aziraphale quite fit within that specific culture, which definitely contributes to their rebelling. The strength of their friendship makes it tempting to put one or both of them as +loyalist primaries (i.e., Hufflepuff or Slytherin):
Loyalists care about people. Whether it’s a few people or a whole world of people, at the center of their moral system is to do what is best for those people.
And I know that's what a lot of people do… but I don't think it's right. I think they're both +idealist primaries (i.e., Gryffindor or Ravenclaw):
Idealists focus on concepts and truths and what is right and what is good. They are big picture thinkers… There is a system of rights and wrongs and in betweens and those things all matter.
It's not that Crowley and Aziraphale don't have a strong friendship (*cough*) or that they don't value each other - they do! But when push comes to shove, loyalty to each other doesn't override their convictions. Crowley clearly sees Heaven's ruthlessness and capacity for vengeance much more clearly than Aziraphale does, but we don't see any evidence that he tries to figure out a way to avert Armageddon without putting Aziraphale in the middle of it. A loyalist wouldn't drag someone they loved into harm's way like that without at least making an effort to protect them, but that's not on Crowley's mind. Similarly, Aziraphale puts a lot of significance on Being An Angel and The Great Plan - a good argument can sway him, but personal affection clearly doesn't. The two of them are certainly there for each other and will go through discomfort for each other (e.g., Crowley walking into the church), but I can't think of a single time either of them did something that actually contradicted his principles solely for the sake of their friendship, which is why I come down on them being idealists rather than loyalists.
I went back and forth on Crowley on which idealist primary he is. Ravenclaw seems like an obvious choice, given that his asking questions was (part of) what got him kicked out of Heaven in the first place. That insistence on poking at beliefs is a very Ravenclaw way of doing things. That's not restricted to Ravenclaws, though - Gryffindors do it, too. The dividing line isn't analysis vs. no analysis - it's that a Gryffindor asks questions to understand what their gut is saying, where a Ravenclaw asks questions to dissect what their gut is saying.
Crowley isn't really dissecting anything. His questions typically come across more as thinly-veiled criticism of someone else than a true intellectual exercise. He wasn't really asking why the tree was in the middle of the garden - he was saying that it was a bad choice if God truly didn't want people to eat the apple. I'd bet that it wasn't about asking questions as much as challenging decisions. That combativeness compared with his general disinterest in other people's arguments are why I'd put him as a +Gryffindor primary instead:
Gryffindors are marked by their steadfast intuitive moralty… they will feel the most at peace with themselves when acting in accordance with their gut morality… one of the Gryffindor Primary's greatest strengths is their ability to make a decision, and then go out and do their damndest to make a difference. They are willing to sacrifice their safety, social harmony, and a certain amount of logic to do what they feel is right.
Crowley has the "I'm right and I will break before I change my mind just because someone tells me to" mindset that can be really common among Gryffindor primaries. It doesn't matter if that someone is God, Satan, or Aziraphale - once his gut settles on something, that's what he's doing and he's dragging others along with him. It's Crowley who decided that they should avert Armageddon and insert themselves into Warlock's life, and he argued Aziraphale into agreeing with him. Yes, he briefly entertains the idea of running away to Alpha Centauri, but that's only after he thinks that all hope is lost, and when he decides that it isn't, he's cheerfully driving through hellfire to get to where he needs to be.
Aziraphale, on the other hand, is decidedly not a Gryffindor primary. I tend to think that he's a +Ravenclaw primary - but one who's adopted Heaven's Hufflepuff primary as his system:
Ravenclaw primaries are the system-lovers. They create, modify, and outright adopt systems that give them frames and guidance for interacting with the world… they value truth. They want to find the correct, best way to look at the world and to interact with morality and the people around them.
To be clear, he has whole-heartedly adopted the Hufflepuff primary that Heaven is built around. At the start, he's dead set on "heaven will triumph over hell," and he continues to have faith in that overarching system for most of the series. Crowley knows Hell wants Armageddon, so he doesn't tell them he's trying to avoid it; Aziraphale wants desperately to believe that does want to avert Armageddon, so he diligently reports back about his efforts to influence Warlock. Yes, he "fraternizes" with Crowley throughout his time on Earth, but it goes against the system he's adopted - he's conflicted about it and even tries to downplay the strength of their friendship (*cough*) on multiple occasions.
He's internalized the good aspects of the system, too - in the end, Crowley may have abandoned Hell, but Heaven abandoned Aziraphale. For him, part of being an angel is helping people - while his words are (somewhat) defending God's choices, his body language and tone make it clear that he doesn't entirely disagree when Crowley criticizes God's actions over Adam and Eve, the flood, and Jesus's crucifiction. He gave his sword away out of concern for Adam and Eve, and he was chastised for performing too many "frivalous" miracles (which would probably include things like making Hamlet a hit and "fixing" Anathema's bike).
But all of that is a system he's adopted, rather than him actually being a Hufflepuff primary, because his need for consistency does win out over the primary system he's been trying to force himself into for thousands of years. A true Hufflepuff who'd bought into the Heaven vs. Hell mentality wouldn't have been so easily swayed by Crowley's arguments for why they should try to avert Armageddon, and a Hufflepuff would have reconsidered his own position in the face of resistance. Aziraphale, on the other hand, firmly believes that avoiding Armageddon is the right thing, and tries very hard to convince Heaven to see his perspective - he continues to do so even after he's had his fight with Crowley. His eventual break with Heaven is definitely triggered in part when he realizes that the parts of the system he valued most (i.e., helping people) and the values he'd picked up during his time on earth were truly incompatible with the value placed on war and tribalism that the Hufflepuff primaries in Heaven have imposed on the broader population.
Crowley plays by his own rules and doesn't second guess himself. He makes snap decisions and sticks by them even when it causes conflict. That makes him a +Gryffindor primary. Aziraphale wants desperately to belong to his community, but in the end, the need to be right is just too ingrained in him, which is why he's a +Ravenclaw primary (with a +Hufflepuff primary model).
Secondary (the "how")
Crowley's secondary is a little tough, because I think you can interpret his actions in multiple ways. There's definitely evidence of careful planning that's characteristic of a +Ravenclaw secondary:
Ravenclaws are collectors. Dedicated to knowledge, to facts, systems, tools, or skills, the things they have already learned are what they call on when things get tough.
He first asked Aziraphale for holy water well over a century before he ended up needing it, and he doesn't let it go when Aziraphale says no. He's run the hypotheticals, and he wants a plan B for if Hell ever finds out that he's not really doing what he's supposed to be doing. The mischief he seems genuinely proud of is based around his knowledge of how humans live and what they value - Hastur and Ligur may not undestand the pain of poorly-designed highways and no cell service, but we do. You can even see it in little things like his plants - he learned about something and used it.
But there's a lot of improvising in there, too, and I ultimately come down on the side of +Slytherin secondary for that reason.
A Slytherin Secondary’s defining constant is to change. They adapt to the situation, going with the flow and making use of advantages as they come. They are good at spotting unexpected opportunities and rapidly shifting their aim and approach in order to snatch up the possibilities in front of them (sometimes leading them to appear lucky where they are actually better described as opportunistic).
This is definitely a better description of his demon!activities overall. Crowley clearly views his explicit assignments - i.e., tempt this person to do that - as a chore. He spends thousands of years slogging through them, avoiding them, or pawning them off on someone else. When he's left to his own devices, though, he just causes chaos without having any idea what the end result will be. You can see it with the apple, you can see it with the M25, you can see it in his sabotaging the mobile network around London, and you can see it in his turning the paintball guns into actual guns but giving everyone miraculous escapes. He's an opportunist who likes to throw things in the air and see how they land, not a planner - he's just good enough at improvising to look like he is.
And you can also interpret the holy water situation in a different way: while asking for holy water is planning ahead, his shifting strategies to actually obtain looks as much like a Slytherin's ability to change course when one strategy doesn't work as it does like a Ravenclaw's careful planning. And, while he asked for holy water well before he ends up needing it*, having the holy water is different than figuring out how to use it in the specific situation that came up, and there was also a fair amount of improvising with modern technology when the water didn't kill both Ligur and Hastur (which he'd probably hoped it would) - and when Hastur appeared next to him in the car, he didn't really miss a beat.
*I'd argue that at the point he asked for holy water, their relationship had gone from vibey-af to overtly-A-Thing, and that's what triggered the desire for extra precautions… but that's just an aside.
And even when he's confronted with a situation that he truly had no way to prepare for, Crowley is able to adjust. Within 24 hours of being handed the Antichrist, he's decided he wants to avert Armageddon, come up with an idea, and used a variety of arguments to convince a very skeptical Aziraphale to work with him to carry it out. When Satan is about to appear, Crowley is the one who ultimately comes up with a strategy - and his idea actually works. (Yes, some of it was down to Adam, but Crowley stopped time, told Adam that reality would listen to him, and that he could change things. Given that Adam went with "you're not my dad" and that Crowley looked a little smug when everyone else was shaken and confused, I'd argue that he deserves a lot of credit here.)
Crowley thrives when he's able to react rather than carefully plan, and when one approach doesn't work, he'll switch to another without needing a whole lot of time to adjust. That makes him a +Slytherin secondary.
I've gone back and forth on Aziraphale, because there are a lot of ways in which he looks like a +Hufflepuff secondary.
This is what makes a Hufflepuff: they show up. They do the work, often for no obvious gain except for the satisfaction of a job well done. This is the source of their power, and it is slowly gathered, not obvious to look at, and rarely spent.
Aziraphale doesn't want to avoid the work - part of his resistance when Crowley suggests the arrangement is that it goes against the system he's adopted to work with a demon, but I think part of it is also that Aziraphale isn't looking for praise. He's looking for satisfaction. It seems like someone recognizes this - even after he botches guarding the tree, he's given jobs like thwarting Crowley (who's been given credit for things like the French Revolution) and keeping tabs on the Antichrist. He performs small miracles for no reason other than to make the world a better place. His earnest demeanor remains consistent whether he's talking to Crowley, other angels, or humans. That's all very Hufflepuff secondary.
But ultimately, I think that that's a strong +Hufflepuff secondary +model/performance rather than his actual secondary, and his actual secondary is often drowned out by his devotion to the rigid structure of the primary system he's adopted. Instead, I'm going to come down on him also being a +Slytherin secondary. (Basically, a model is something you can live by but isn't your first instinct, and a performance is an act that you've learned to consistently put on.)
Here's why I think Hufflepuff is a model rather than his actual secondary: when he's truly backed into a corner, he doesn't actually fall back on a foundation of hard work. There are actions he takes in those moments of true crisis that I don't think can be explained by any other secondary. For one thing, despite his initial resistance, he does eventually come around to the arrangement, and his discomfort often seems to be as much about working with a demon as not doing the work.
More significantly, we explicitly see him finding a way back to Earth after being discorporated and attempting to murder Adam. He's also able to slip into different personas based on his environment without seeming to feel duplicitous, even if he usually chooses not to do so - he manipulates Warlock under the guise of being a gardener for years and puts on a good imitation of Crowley during his trial/sentencing in hell. Those are all things that happen when he's put in a position where he needs to act, now - he doesn't have the luxury of thinking it through or going with anything but his impulse. And when he's in that position, he doesn't act anything like a Hufflepuff. He looks a lot more like a Slytherin who's trying hard to be something else.
Aziraphale likes to look like an earnest, cheerful +Hufflepuff secondary who works hard to make the world a better place. When he's pushed to act quickly, though, his +Slytherin secondary shines through - the Hufflepuff secondary is just a +model/performance.
Crowley and Aziraphale are both +Slytherin secondaries, but where Crowley is unapologetic and overt about his ability to adapt and shift when he feels like it's warranted, Aziraphale has a strong +Hufflepuff secondary model/performance and only lets his actual secondary shine through when he doesn't have another option.
In summary: Crowley is a +Gryffindor primary and a +Slytherin secondary. Aziraphale is a +Ravenclaw primary with a +Hufflepuff primary +model and a +Slytherin secondary with a +Hufflepuff secondary model/performance.
(Italicized sorting-related quotes from sortinghatchats)
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