huh. the title of this blog entry is ominously reminiscent of bad habits  

i have a longstanding tradition of making increasingly bad decisions. it usually happens when i'm feeling particularly...dark. there are times when that's almost the default instead of an exception. and yet, even after i've done the thing, i don't actually feel all that bad about it.

i do, a little bit, but then i get sucked into my own mental image of what i've done and the various ways in which it made me feel good (because the reason i do things is because i need to feel good) and the guilty/bad feeling disappears. until i come down from the metaphorical high and then i'm feeling worse than i did before. it's a vicious cycle that i don't know how (or probably don't want to) break.

the one thing that my bad decisions are good for is drawing inspiration for my writing. some of my stories have situations in them that are heavily inspired by my own life. some are me working through stuff that i did to myself (the technicolour series).

are your stories inspired by your bad decisions? or good decisions/life choices? (tbh, i don't have many of those and they're not particularly story-worthy).