due to a couple of conversations i've had recently (mostly with deni and shreya but also others...) i've come to realise that all my fucked up characters are just versions of me at various points in my life (and those various points tend to mix between themselves so lines are very blurry and basically non existent at times). back when i first started writing i shied away from acknowledging that particular fact because i remember way back when how self-inserts were generally frowned upon.

and while my characters (quinn, dominique, victoire, astoria, freya) aren't complete self-inserts, their personalities, the struggles they face, the situations they find themselves in are ... just me. and they're seriously fucked up, which i freely admit that i am. i might be good at pretending i'm not most of the time, but ultimately, it seems as if writing brings out the truth. and despite some people not liking them as characters (and by extension, not liking me) i accept that even when it hurts to read it

quinn is me when i'm pretending to keep my shit together but due to that i'm emotionally unavailable and generally difficult. dominique is me when i'm being a bisexual disaster (most of the time). victoire is me at my most fucked up, dealing with mental health issues that were never (and probably never will be) properly addressed because my teenage self at the lowly age of 16 decided therapists/psychiatrists are for shit because the first time i actually opened up about an extremely toxic parent, my moods/issues, the recreational drug use, i was told i was a narcissist who just craved attention. which, you know, might be true   astoria is the least like me because most of her experiences i've only experienced second-hand. freya is me when i'm a little less of a disaster but still with questionable life choices and coping mechanisms - a lot (and really...a lot) of the scenes in physical fatality were inspired by (recent) real life events (which might be one of the reasons i've been able to kinda regularly write it. who knows). the good thing is that at this point in my life, i'm very rarely a victoire.

hey, at least i can't say that ethan jones, the possibly sociopathic murderer, is like me. i call that success.

i know a lot of us basically write what we know...but, yk, with magic and stuff  so if you want, feel free to comment with your own characters and which parts of them are you.