This started out as a status update. Then it got long and boring so here we are.

So I'm applying to college?? In the tiny town that I was (unfortunately) birthed in that I hate (with the fire of a thousand suns). Which is honestly the last thing I thought I would do. But also who expected a global pandemic to change our lives in only a matter of months? My plans have not stopped changing. It's okay. I'm young. But I'm also pretty scared because I know exactly what I want to do and no idea what the outcome will be. I was supposed to backpack around Europe this summer, and now that's not happening (half COVID-19 half I'm fully broke.) I had planned to live with my sister for a year in my second-Nationality country, France. Never seeing my nieces, their beautiful mother, and my brother-in-law has really taken its toll on my life and the fact that now I'm going to have to wait much longer for that is very painful. Then there's my very best friends in Germany (some of whom I haven't seen in a year, which doesn't sound like a lot but is), who will also be waiting for me. 

The thing is, I had it all figured out.

-Go for a year abroad (including two summer backpacking trips across Europe.)

-Come back in time (August 2021) for my one year conservatory at acting school.

-Graduate and become a successful actress who loves her projects and has some visibility (makes a living.) - of course this goal was never the most realistic but hey whatever. There's a friend of a friend who spent ten years planting trees and learning yoga and he's doing great now and not living in a box.

-Act for quite a while then take some time off to go to university (entry facilitated by my well-knowness)

-Bachelor in Linguistics and Film Studies with a minor in Scandinavian studies (heavy heavy workload but I'm one of those people who could snort information for a living). Masters @ U of Copenhagen. Phd at Oxford.

-Minor details, travels, hookups, and inconveniences in between.

-Major details, travels, best friends getting married, possibly me getting married, lots of books, and too many movies in between. 

Despite all of this, I'm very aware of the fact that you can't plan a life. (Including your two boys and one girl and Danish husband *cough*) Well, COVID-19 decided to teach me a lesson anyways. As if it thought I wasn't smart to know.

And now I am here ruminating like Robert Frost when he wrote The Road Not Taken. What to do? What to do? What to do?

Aw shit.