i sit here in my room, my tortoise shell glasses perched on the very tippy tip of my large nose (they truly could not be more on the edge) waiting for my vitamin c serum to dry so that i may finish the rest of my ridiculously long skincare routine, typing away about the goodbye i have said to a couple of my old stories on the archives. if you're wondering who i am that's no surprise because anyone who has seen my dumpster fire of a twitter knows that i am only on the forums one month every 2 years before i disappear off the face of the earth and am never to be heard from (unless you're on my dumpster fire of a twitter) for another 2 years. in many ways i am much like jaclyn hill but for fanfiction. i only show up when i have recently put something new  in the queue and am waiting for it to be validated.

but i digress.

recently, i have said farewell to two of my old stories on the archives, and it was a decision that i have made after not a lot of deliberation. i'd been writing them since i think around 2014 perhaps, and then after about a year i just,,,,,stopped writing fanfiction for the most part. it took me forever to write anything for them to the point where i forgot everything that i had ever planned for those stories (even though i had it all written it out but it was still not enough to jog my memory). too much time had passed where i wasn't invested in those stories or working on them that i just no longer had any sort of urge to continue writing them. i think the only thing motivating me to keep going was the promise i had made when i was much younger that i would never leave a story unfinished, which at the time seemed perfectly reasonable to me because i was writing so much fanfiction so quickly, for so many different fandoms that it seemed natural for me to assume that i would be able to finish them no matter the cost. i had already finished writing 2 full length "novels" by the time i was 13 (not that they were any good, mind you, but i wrote them).

and i could never fully pinpoint why i stopped writing as much or as frequently, i can't even really blame school at the time to be honest, up until uni i was never particularly swamped with homework (because i didn't do anything that wasn't going to be handed in). I just,,,,,stopped writing.

so i decided to delete them. i thought about it for about 3 seconds before i went on every site that they were posted on and permanently deleted the two stories. it was an easy decision for me to make, i don't regret it. while i certainly loved those stories in their own way, i also found that they were keeping me from writing the stuff that i was truly itching to write about, so they ended up feeling like more of a chore than something i was doing because i enjoyed it. and yes, i could've worked on those other stories i was itching to write, but i was practicing self-disciplinie and forcing myself to work on one full length novel WIP at a time so that i wouldn't become too overwhelmed and end up with too many stories in the works at the same time and none of them were being updated. and in the end, it sucked the joy out of writing those stories for me. and it wasn't fair to the few people who were reading them either, waiting literal years for one measly update. maybe some day i will go back to those stories and completely rework them with a completely new plot and cast set and repost them. 

so i'd like to say a farewell to A Minor Setback and Meddling Aphrodite for now. perhaps they'll see the light of day again eventually, but until then,,,,,,

for now, i'll focus on the jily stories brewing in my brain and in my drafts and maybe even start that heist story i've been thinking about for (not even joking) 5+ years.

(i have not proofread this)