tw: violence against women, assault

something that i think about often is the graphic depiction of violence against women in literature, film, music or any form of art really. and this is probably not the sobering kind of contentyou probably want to think about with election night around the corner and yet i can't help it. i think many of us will agree that the depiction of violence against women (take a shot every time i say that phrase) is largely gratuitous. i can't count the amount of times i've watched a show or read a book and seen graphic descriptions of horrible acts being committed against women and asked myself "what does this add to the story? to the characters?" and when i think about it long enough, and consider how the story would be different if that scene was taken out and every time i realize that absolutely nothing about the story would've changed. these kinds of scenes are included for shock factor and because men get off on it.

i'm not saying we shouldn't have these things depicted in media, because they happen and they should be present to get us talking and thinking about it. but there is a right way and a wrong way to do it, and if it was really about the story or the character, with enough brainstorming, whoever was creating the story or directing the film/show would've found an alternative way to achieve the same desired effect without making their female audience feel icky. there is something so uncomfortable about seeing something happen to a fictional woman and thinking about how that exact same thing has happened to a friend, a relative, a colleague, or even yourself. i've never been a victim of assault and these scenes make me feel like i'm going to throw up, i can't imagine what it's like for survivors who have to sit there and watch these scenes play out as entertainment for the masses.

and the main reason that i got into thinking about this was because i read game of thrones. the first book at least. at this moment in time, i can say that i don't like game of thrones. i didn't find the writing style interesting, i wasn't impressed by the characters or the world-building, and maybe i would've looked past this if it wasn't for copious amounts of scenes which were solely focused on the assault of women. and i'm saying this now, i don't care what you think that justified it, it was unnecessary. if you took those scenes out, the story would still be the same. and we're not even gonna touch on the fact that daenaerys was LITERALLY 13. my point being, i couldn't pick up this book without having to mentally prepare myself for the level of discomfort, disgust, and anger that i felt while reading. and this is not to shame anyone who did enjoy the books and show, this is just me personally.

"but what about violence against men?" i hear you ask.

and you're right, what about violence against men. because we do see violence against men in media, but the context is always different to what we see when it involves women. and the nature of it is different as well. seeing a man punch another man invokes very different feelings in me than seeing a man punching a woman, and we all know it. there is this sense of wrong when you see it happening against a woman because in our heads, we all know someone who has experienced this,  or we've heard enough horror stories, that we fill in the blanks for what else is possible beyond what's being shown. and violence against women always has this subtext (am i using this word right?) that it's sexual which is never there, at least for me, when it's men. and maybe this is part of the way that we're socialized to think of the two, i don't know.

i feel like i've been going in circles and i didn't really make a point (as usual), but this has been sitting in my head for months on end, and i thought if anyone was gonna understand what i meant or where i was coming from, it would be you folks. i guess tl;dr i'm suspicious of anything that focuses too heavily on assaulting women for no reason.