When I think about humor fics on the archives, I think of these brilliant things that drew audible laughs from me as I was reading them:

Fear and Loathing in Branson by @CambAngst

This is an older work of Dan’s, but… seriously, you need to read this. It’s a riot.

Neville, traveling the world with girlfriend Luna (who apparently has a much higher libido than him) decides he needs to get away for a bit. He winds up drunk in a bar in Branson, Missouri, USA, pouring out his problems to a local who grows increasingly more confused and alarmed at Neville’s ramblings about witches, brooms, and magic swords. And drunk Neville is the thing I never knew I needed so much:

“Everything changes when you’re a hero. I mean, who knew? One day you’re nobody and then you lop the head off of a bleedin’ giant snake with an enchanted sword and these birds go crazy. Everywhere we went: the Acropolis, the Taj Mahal, Khufu’s sodding pyramid... nothin’ would do but to have a quick shag. I'm a man, not a piece of meat! Sometimes you just wanna listen to the satyrs play or the sirens sing without somebody trying to slip you a handy... the moment's not always right, you know? You ever had someone try to nosh you off while curse breakers were fighting a fire demon in the next bloody chamber, Rick? Who even does that?”

It’s one of those moments when we get to see how absurd all of this wizarding world stuff sounds to a Muggle, especially one hearing it without context, but with the added humor that comes from Neville being so smashed that he’s rattling this all off as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Witch Slap by @tatapb

Maria is a comedic mastermind, and this story is clever and endlessly quotable without ever feeling contrived. It’s a slow burn, enemies-to-friend-to-lovers Scorose that manages to be so far from cliche. Come for the relatable humor, witty observations, and zippy one-liners, and stay for the brilliant, realistic characterizations and dynamics.

Rose is a Healer in Training, a people-pleasing bundle of nervous energy, a stress-induced heart attack waiting to happen, and she isn’t exactly what you’d call a tidy roommate. Scorpius is a misanthropic pro-Quidditcher who stress-cleans. Naturally, they can’t stand each other. Albus is a Curse-Breaker who just wants everyone to get along so he can afford this flat, and who doles out advice consisting of varying degrees of questionable wisdom.

It reads like a sitcom in the absolute best way possible: relatable situations that veer just far enough into the inane, as Maria zeroes in on the inherently hilarious aspects of real-life scenarios, and somehow amplifies the humor x10. The dialogue is smart, snarky, and effortlessly funny, and Scorp’s cynical narrative is honestly peak Maria. Like this more recent gem that makes me wish I had this kind of way with words:

[Scorp’s narrative, reflecting back upon the fact that he’s been sleeping until 9 AM while unemployed]

Nine?! What was he, an animal? A member of some sort of Roman Bacchanalia? An epicurean, pseudo-artistic, bon-vivant?

*chef kiss*

ministry memorandums (from the mysteries) by @apondinabluebox

This is, hands down, one of the funniest and most creative epistolary fics I’ve ever read. It’s a story about bureaucratic nonsense that unfolds almost entirely through Ministry of Magic interdepartmental memos.

Like a chatfic, but with work emails. If emails were delivered in paper form, by owls.

Isobel perfectly captures the drama and personalities in an office setting, in a large bureaucracy — and all the attendant frustrations and snark. It’s fresh and delightfully farcical. See exhibit A:

12.59pm
Ministry memorandum
sent by interdepartmental memo from the Office of Unspeakable Relations to employee Ambrose, Venn; appears to have been tampered with as memo attempted to eat recipient’s ear when ignored, also in rather burnt state
attached: recent memo from Minister for Magic’s Secretary’s Office

IF I DON’T HAVE A REPLY IN THREE MINUTES I’M THROWING YOU INTO THE FIRE WHEN I FIND IT

A mood, Isobel. A mood.

One of my favorite things about these memos are the increasingly absurd descriptions of things sent as attachments, such as an “extremely annoyed owl displaying vicious tendencies including attempting to peck out the recipient’s eyes.”

It’s just so clever, and I hope Isobel gets Min Mems 2 posted soon.

Panflakes by @tatapb

More Maria hilarity. This is a companion one-shot to Witch Slap, but it can be read independently, as it doesn’t require all that context — it reads as a fluffy slice of life. Rose and Albus work out that Scorpius is sleepwalking when he emerges from his room and starts making casual conversation and offering to make pancakes… in total gibberish.

It takes real skill, I think, to write gibberish dialogue that’s funny both in and out of context, and to convey the absolutely deadpan, blase manner in which Scorp delivers his lines, to his flatmates’ total bewilderment:

“You alright, mate?”
“Pfffffffft,” came the glib response. “Whossit.”

(Then when Al asks what the hell he’s going on about, true to himself Scorp responds as if Al is a total moron):

“Whossit!” Scorp glared at him before enunciating the word slowly: “Whoooossiiiiit.”

The dialogue from this fic has the inconvenient habit of popping into my head at random moments and making me laugh for no apparent reason.

reading the room by @facingthefrostkittens and @poppunkpadfoot

The first thing you need to know about Emma and Kayla when they say they can’t write happy things, is that they are lying liars who lie. This fic is one of the softest, fluffiest things you will ever read and will have you giggling to yourself like an idiot.

When Remus and Sirius find themselves locked out of Gryffindor Tower late at night, they turn to the Room of Requirement for refuge. The trouble is, knowing they each have a massive, secret crush on one another, the Room keeps giving them only one bed, growing more outlandish with each attempt. The increasingly chagrined boys try to play it off like a moderately inconvenient hiccup, rather than the end of their lives as they know it.

Worst of all, propped up against the ornate white headboard was a big pink pillow in the shape of a heart.

“What the hell,” Sirius choked out beside him.

“I take it you did not mean for this to happen,” Remus said, sounding remarkably calm to his own ears.

Dry, deprecating humor abounds in this delightfully inane Wolfstar.