Yes, I use an HP quote to find some humor in this.

So lately all I've been talking about in my blogs is my grief/depression and while I know that's not real exciting to some, it's where I can get out what I'm thinking besides going to therapy. I started going on Halloween last year and have only had a couple sessions so far. Right off the bat, I felt like my therapist knew where I was coming from and just understood me. She came highly recommended from my best friend who's also seeing her.

The second session she already had a diagnosis for me and called what I'm going through: Persistent Depressive Disorder. Which explains a lot, especially when it comes to writing. So when I say I really do want to write, I do. It's just not procrastination anymore. It's something that's been going on for a long time, not just recently and my dad's passing triggered it more. I obviously don't blame him, but it just sucks that it had to be the reason.

This explains so much like why I have no energy to do anything I wanna do; like right now, I have the day off before I go into work tonight and I want to do some winter/spring crafts, but I don't have the motivation to do it. All I wanna do is sleep. I'm in my bed cuddling with my kitty while I write this and my oven is doing its self cleaning. In my Christmas letter to certain people last year, I wrote something about I'm going to make my resolution about me and trying to get better and be happy. I don't know if I ever truly was, but alas. I don't normally make them, but this year I'm going to make myself a priority. That was a hard lesson after the fight I had with my mom around August. That's another blog completely and also why I need therapy.

My diagnosis also explains that I'm not just being lazy, which I'm sure a lot of people would say that I am.

It's going to be hard, but I've always been the one to help other people and put them first, but now it's my turn.

I promise that after this entry, no more like this.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and is having a good start to the new year.