forever dreaming's beta thread

[sibilant]

Hello!

 

I'm here to offer services as a beta

 

My weakness:

- I've never beta'd fanfiction before, but I've critiqued original works before, so I don't think this will be too much of an obstacle.

- I don't have that much time--I'm starting the college application process and doing research over the summer, so it may take me a little while to get to requests. No more than two weeks, though.

- I haven't read many LGBT+ fics before, so that may be a limitation of mine in terms of the feedback I can offer. Depends on your areas of concern.

 

What I can do for you:

- Characterization: This is my main strength! I'm very good at looking at characters, determining whether they're being OOC and how you can develop them more.

- Description: I can help you with mixing description with plot and showing, not telling. I'm especially good at recommending ways to vary style to convey meaning (i.e., using shorter sentences or techniques like anaphora to create rhythm). I can also help you improve your vocabulary! 

- Plot events: I can determine if a plot event is unrealistic or unlikely, too convenient (deus ex machina), and identify obvious plot holes.

- Realistic dialogue: Having read way too many fics with bad dialogue, I've learned to recognize what makes good dialogue so good, so I can offer some pointers on making it more conversational and adding more descriptive language about a character's actions, because it's not always just what they're saying, but how they're saying it too.

 

Fandoms:

Just Harry Potter

 

Rules:

- No limit to the amount of one-shots, but only one multi-chaptered story at a time.

- The more specific you are in the Areas of Concern, the better my critique will be.

- I prefer works shared with me on Google Drive because I can comment and suggest changes much easier. But I'm open to alternatives, if that doesn't work for you!

- I'm not a copy editor, so don't ask me to edit your story for you.

- Please note the number of available slots first before you post!

 

Slots:

- Open slot

- Open slot

[LunaStellaCat]

forever_dreaming

 

I didn’t want to do this because I told myself I didn't need an editor.  I meant to post days ago, but I’m stuck properly now and should have asked you straightaway.  I kind of have this problem with writer’s block where I have to finish it and get it out of my head before I forget and lose the fervor to write it. 

 

 

Story Name: Give Up the Ghost (M) HPFT or HPFF

Fandom(s): Harry Potter

(Predicted) Length: 5560 (first chapter) There will be two (perhaps 3) chapters worth 5000 words each

Warnings and Advisory: Violence, Language

Genres: Drama, Romance

General Summary: Emmeline learns a valuable lesson after her grandmother passes away.  Written for the Wizards of the World Challenge. 

Areas of Concern:So, there’s the writer’s block thing.  Generally, I’d like to keep the structure of the first chapter, but I edit that and rewrite it, or whatever you wish.  I’ll send you that through Google Docs. I am not afraid it do stuff over.  I’m looking for Plot Development, Realistic Dialogue, Realistic Movement of Plot, Characterization (though they are minor characters in the HP universe), and Description or Word Choice shall you choose. And I want to envelop them in the culture without it being stereotypical, cliche or forced.  (It is an Around the World thing…)  

Helpeth me?  Totally willing to work with you if you are awesome beta.  I “married” my last beta and considered her as law:) 

 

Saveth me.  I’ve rewritten and torn down the second chapter so many times - it’s … it’s sad.  But I want it completed.  There are two, perhaps three chapters. 

 

I will use Google Docs. 

[LunaStellaCat]

I have another beta working on this if you don't have time.  No worries.  Just wanted to keep you in the loop.

 

 

[beyond the rain]

hi! If you're still doing this, does the fic have to be validated, or can I ask you to beta things that are yet to be published? 

[Slytherinchica08]

I'm here with my dramione Life As We Know It. 

[b]Story Name:[/b] Life As We Know It (M)
[b]Fandom(s):[/b] Harry Potter
[b](Predicted) Length:[/b] To be honest I'm unsure. I know I had up to 18 chapters posted on HPFF totaling 48k but I'm going
through and editing my story and adding in new chapter as well as chapter 18 was only about 1/2 the story so potentially over 100k
[b]Warnings and Advisory:[/b] Hate speech, substance abuse, sexual content, violence 
[b]Genres:[/b] angst/romance
[b]General Summary:[/b] The wizarding world is torn apart by war, yet even whilst the battle lines are being drawn, two 
people strike up an unlikely friendship. Could it be that a war designed to pull people apart is responsible for pushing
 Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger together?
[b]Areas of Concern:[/b] So I know from past betas that I switch from past to present tense quite a bit. I've gotten better at it
over the years but it still slips through at times. Also punctuation such as commas, semi-colons and such are not great. Beyond that,
I love having someone who will make those comments about what works for them in the story and what just isn't working as a reader. I'm
really working hard on making this story as canon as possible while adding in my own events and the Dramione relationship of course. So 
comments on how well that is going is also appreciated. Of course you don't have to do those things but I do love having a beta who 
will bounce ideas off with me and help me improve the story. 

[sibilant]

One slot filled  

[Bat Stitch Crazy]

 

Story Name: Letters From Draco Chapter 1 (link is to Gdoc)

Fandom(s): Harry Potter

(Predicted) Length: Novel

Warnings and Advisory: None right now but subject to change pending my muse

Genres: Drama, Hurt/Comfort (More will be added pending my muse)

General Summary: Scorpius Malfoy gathers his family and old friends of his parents to read letters left behind by Draco. The words contained in these letters and the stories behind them might just shed some light on just what the former head of the Malfoy family went through during his sixth year. What's certain is Scorpius is about to learn more about his father than he ever thought possible.

Areas of Concern: All of the above!!!!!! The biggest thing is the first chapter is a set up for the reading of the letters and I need help with the plot and the characterization of the main players. I'm horrible at grammar so any suggestions on that would be helpful along with the dialogue and descriptions. 

 

[sibilant]

I have two slots open!

School’s winding down, so I have a bit more time to look at stories, if anyone needs/wants help!  

[facingthenorthwind]

Story Name: ????? tenatively "imperio fic" or "bring our curses home"
Fandom(s): Harry Potter
(Predicted) Length: I ammmmm....not sure. 40k, maybe? I only have 11k written. I'm happy for you to only beta these 
Warnings and Advisory: Substance abuse, violence, suicide
Genres: adventure, romance
General Summary: Anthony Goldstein, Ministry Prosecutor, has to prosecute a case involving neo-Death Eaters ten years after the war ends. There's something more to it, though, and he can't get the Auror division to investigate -- so he's going to have to take it into his own hands.
Areas of Concern: Pretty much all of your strengths, honestly. I'm also interested in the best way to use some unfamiliar words in the narrative that don't make it sound like I'm looking directly at the camera to explain what they mean. I don't know if this comes under copyediting, and if so obviously then ignore it, but I have a habit of making my paragraphs far, far too long, and if you have any suggestions/ways to fix it that would be rad. I have extremely extensive planning for this fic but you don't have to touch that unless you want to, of course. I'm mostly concerned about the stuff I already have written.

[sibilant]

1 slot open  

[FoxPatronus]

Hey there, @forever_dreaming ! I absolutely adored your writing when I was doing your reviews, and I think your skill set would fit with exactly the kinds of things I'm looking to improve--specifically the description. My stories are really dialogue-heavy, which I enjoy writing, but I would like to mix in more reflection and description. If you still have a slot open and have the time/energy, I would love a beta for my Charlie Weasley/OC WIP. (Multi-chapter, no idea how long it's going to be, and it is the second story of a series. I can send you a link to the previous story if you would like to get a taste for the characters and decide if you want to work with me!)

 

[sibilant]

Just updating to say I have two slots open! My return time will be a bit slower because of WiFi issues but hopefully that will be resolved soon  

[HarrietHopkirk]

Hiya!

Story Name: Dominique [M]

Fandom(s): Harry Potter

(Predicted) Length: Novel

Warnings and Advisory: Domestic abuse, consent issues, sexual content, spoilers, substance abuse, violence (nothing too severe in this chapter, however)

Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Crime/Mystery, Dark/Horror, Hurt/Comfort

General Summary: Lorcan is dying, and with the mysterious return of his brother, Dominique Weasley is torn. Ridden with guilt and fear, her perfect life is crumbling around her as she is approached by a shady organisation. She has to make a choice, not just between the two men, but between the light and the darkness.

Areas of Concern: Would be grateful if you could check over for readability - it's been a while since I finished a chapter - and grammar, spelling, consistency, etc.

Let us know if you've got any questions. Thanks in advance!

[Predictable Chaos]

Story Name: The Other Spy (M)

Fandom(s): Harry Potter

(Predicted) Length: Novel (currently about 22,000 words)

Warnings and Advisory:  Violence, Sexual Situations, Derogatory Language, Substance Abuse

Genres: Angst, Dark/Horror

General Summary: Severus Snape knows that the Order has another spy among the Death Eater’s ranks, but Dumbledore refuses to discuss it leaving Severus, once again lacking important information. Tired of the old man’s constant manipulation, Severus conducts his own investigation. What he discovers is a web of truth and lies, where reality and illusion are so intertwined that he cannot tell right from wrong, even in himself.

Warning: It has some pretty violent stuff in it (Death Eater's initiation) but no sexual violence.

Areas of Concern:

1. I'm trying to keep a balance so these questions are continually asked by the reader, "Which side is Quella on? Does Severus believe/trust her? Does Severus feel confused/unsure which die side he should be one. Also, is it keeping the reader's interest?

2. I noticed that someone posted a beta request for a novel just before me. I'm in no rush if you want to look at it later.

3. It hasn't been published yet. It's currently on a google doc but I can switch it to a Word document if that is easier for you. If you are interested, I'll PM you the google link. 

 

 

[sibilant]

@HarrietHopkirk @potionspartner Hi! Thanks for requesting. I’m not able to beta at the moment (apologize for not having updated my thread; something unexpected came up) but @facingthenorthwind volunteered to take your requests instead (if you don’t mind, of course) and she’s a wonderful beta! I would be happy to beta for you later when I’m in a better frame of mind. Sorry for the inconvenience! 

[Predictable Chaos]

No problem @forever_dreaming. I hope life calms down for you. Thanks for recommending someone else. 

[Alwynse]

@forever_dreaming are you available/ready to consider another request? 

Thanks~

[sibilant]

@javu yes, I am ready!   

[Alwynse]

12 minutes ago, forever_dreaming said:

@javu yes, I am ready!   

Great! 

Story Name: I'm not a hero, first chapter Already posted on FF.net

Fandom(s): HP, Next-Gen

(Predicted) Length: Story in general? No idea. Individual chapters - 3000-5000

Warnings and Advisory: Language, hate speech, violence

Genres: Action/Adventure, Crime/Mystery, Romance

General Summary: Charlotte Ward is a quiet but inquisitive sixth year.  Being a muggle-born, magic has blown her away. She reads and learns as much as she can. She enjoys inventing new spells. Her thirst for knowledge, however, resulted in her being a bit isolated socially. But she's fine with that, really. Her how life gets turned upside down when she attends the wedding of her cousin. Her mother unwittingly invites Jack Morgan, a boy Charlotte has fallen out with. An embarrassing blow-out has Charlotte storming out of the reception and into muggle London. No big deal. That is, until she crosses paths with a wizard terrorist group posing as muggles.

Areas of Concern: Characterization. Like, I know where I want to go plot wise. But I'm struggling with how Charlotte is now, before the incident in London. If you accept, I will elaborate more. And dialogue. 

[sibilant]

@javu Such an interesting idea! Could you PM me, please, with a link to a google doc with whatever you have in it? Thanks!  

[Alwynse]

21 minutes ago, forever_dreaming said:

@javu Such an interesting idea! Could you PM me, please, with a link to a google doc with whatever you have in it? Thanks!  

Sure thing! I’ll send it to you in 6 hours or so when I get out of work.

[grandchild]

Are you still taking requests? Please can you help? Ya gal needs it, I've re-written this first chapter about twenty times  

Story name: The Midas Touch (M) (first two chapters have been posted on ff.net)

Fandom: HP next gen

(Predicted) Length: if I could reliably stick to a word count it'll end up at about 170k. Chapters seem to vary from 2,000 - 6,500. 

Warnings/Advisory (i'm gonna take the ao3 tags and add some more): light hazing of preteens, implied child neglect, substance abuse, implied sexual content, dysfunctional relationships + generally an unstable main character. 

Genres: Drama/Angst

General Summary: Aurora Bianchi, queen of Slytherin with Seer blood is in her sixth year at Hogwarts. Despite failing most of her OWL exams, she's still in school and now studying for three NEWT's. This school year is supposed to be a breeze, but in reality it's anything but. 

ff.net summary is: Sixth year was supposed to be the best school year yet. I finally get to study what I want, I have a boyfriend who loves me and friends who will support me through anything. How wrong could this possibly go?

Areas of concern: Probably keeping characters in check and making actual.... decent.... dialogue... Identifying plot holes is another thing for me, since I have the plans all written out and I'm angling towards a sequel already. 

If you're not taking anyone then that's chill, but please consider me when you are. Thanks