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Insane Story Ideas


dirigibleplums

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people of hpft!

 

in my fic when dahlias bloom, james is this aspiring writer who essentially sits around in a café and scribbles in his notebook bc who needs a job when you know you're going to publish books one day amirite ;)

 

anyways one of the things he does whenever anyone asks him for the plot of what he's working on is sell them insane, convoluted plot that the mc (dahlia) knows is all a lie but everyone else somehow buys??? so basically, i'm turning to you lovely people to help me come up with a bunch of crazy plots that i'll have him mention from time to time. anyone's ideas that turn up in the fic will be credited to that person, of course :)

 

so basically have at it, i suppose

 

<3

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A Muggle detective accidentally stumbles into a wizarding crime scene and is pulled into a plot to bring Voldemort back from the dead (again) and somehow ends up being granted magical powers by Merlin himself.

 

Alternatively, literally just the plot of Cursed Child

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Everyone in the world wakes up one day to discover that they've switched bodies with someone else (the controls at the centre of the universe short-circuited), and chaos ensues. MC is a 24yr old UK second-hand carpet salesman who suddenly finds that he's a rather hunky 33yr old tree-surgeon in Vancouver. Most people want to retrieve their original body, but MC doesn't...

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Trashy romance: A contraband potions maker who's an expert in love potions suddenly can't make them work anymore and it turns out it's because she's fallen in love with the Auror who's investigating her case and the prescence of True Love somehow zaps the power of the potions. This has no basis in reality and it's never explained how it works.

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A wizarding version of GUBU. A socialite type from one of the pureblood elitist families runs out of money and decides to fund their hard-partying lifestyle by robbery so they hold up the Knight Bus, for use as the get away vehicle, using the killing curse on the driver and are finally arrested at the home of the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and rumours abound about the relationship between the two.

 

(GUBU, by the way, stands for "grotesque, unbelievable, bizarre and unprecedented, which the events I am somewhat adapting here definitely were.)

 

Or a Muggle of importance, like the British Prime Minister or Queen or the President of America accidentally stumbles upon a timeturner dropped by an absent-minded witch or wizard who ended up in their presence through some unlikely coincidence. Intrigued by the object, they fiddle with it and manage to end up at Hogwarts just as Slytherin is creating the Chamber of Secrets (the fact that Muggles can't enter Hogwarts is completely ignored). After a series of hilarious mishaps they end up being killed by the Basilisk, leaving the world questioning how they managed to disappear into thin air and questioning what the rules are about succession or replacement since nobody knows whether or not they plan to return.

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Long ago in a dark, stormy night far far away...

 

 

(okay so I totally mashed that up but he could perhaps be talking to himself using this as a possible opening line) :P

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Inferi apocalypse story trailing the unlikely heroic trio of a boggart, a dead man's patronus, and a Dark Lord from an alternate time line that somehow got stuck in this universe. Make it a romcom obviously.

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first of all, all of these are brilliant :P

 

 

Alternatively, literally just the plot of Cursed Child

 

 

James: ... And that's how it ends! Nice idea, right?

Harry: ...

Ginny: ...

Al: ...

Everyone: ... *leaves the café*

 

can you tell i didn't like the cursed child? :P

 

 

 

Everyone in the world wakes up one day to discover that they've switched bodies with someone else (the controls at the centre of the universe short-circuited), and chaos ensues. MC is a 24yr old UK second-hand carpet salesman who suddenly finds that he's a rather hunky 33yr old tree-surgeon in Vancouver. Most people want to retrieve their original body, but MC doesn't...

 

 

And he'll do anything to keep it that way, resulting in a series of shady crimes and shadier cover-ups.

 

 

Trashy romance: A contraband potions maker who's an expert in love potions suddenly can't make them work anymore and it turns out it's because she's fallen in love with the Auror who's investigating her case and the prescence of True Love somehow zaps the power of the potions. This has no basis in reality and it's never explained how it works.

 

 

Plot twist: she kills the Auror because only True Hate can combat True Love

 

 

A wizarding version of GUBU. A socialite type from one of the pureblood elitist families runs out of money and decides to fund their hard-partying lifestyle by robbery so they hold up the Knight Bus, for use as the get away vehicle, using the killing curse on the driver and are finally arrested at the home of the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and rumours abound about the relationship between the two.

 

(GUBU, by the way, stands for "grotesque, unbelievable, bizarre and unprecedented, which the events I am somewhat adapting here definitely were.)

 

Or a Muggle of importance, like the British Prime Minister or Queen or the President of America accidentally stumbles upon a timeturner dropped by an absent-minded witch or wizard who ended up in their presence through some unlikely coincidence. Intrigued by the object, they fiddle with it and manage to end up at Hogwarts just as Slytherin is creating the Chamber of Secrets (the fact that Muggles can't enter Hogwarts is completely ignored). After a series of hilarious mishaps they end up being killed by the Basilisk, leaving the world questioning how they managed to disappear into thin air and questioning what the rules are about succession or replacement since nobody knows whether or not they plan to return.

 

 

Everything about this is perfect. Maybe the Muggle has a torrid affair with Slytherin, breaking his heart and then causing him to create the Chamber bc why egg someone's house when you can set a Basilisk on them right?

 

Why are all of my comments so morbid omg

 

 

Long ago in a dark, stormy night far far away...

 

 

(okay so I totally mashed that up but he could perhaps be talking to himself using this as a possible opening line) :P

 

 

James: Long ago in a dark, stormy night far far away -

Dahlia: James. Shut up. There's no one here and I have to close up.

 

 

Inferi apocalypse story trailing the unlikely heroic trio of a boggart, a dead man's patronus, and a Dark Lord from an alternate time line that somehow got stuck in this universe. Make it a romcom obviously.

 

 

Sounds like the love triangle of the century to me ;)

 

 

A time turner accidentally falls into the hands of a house elf who goes back in time to when dragons ruled, and the house elf becomes the most epic, legendary dragon rider, but only until it has to go home and prepare dinner.

 

 

1) Why am I not surprised there's a dragon here? :P 2) That house elf is the most badass of elves so ofc James names him after Dobby

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What does it say about me that I would read these?  The plots aren't strictly logical, but they would certainly be entertaining.

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That's actually a good thing bc it means people will buy it when James claims it's his story haha

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A very mysterious mystery in which people keep turning into trees, and a bunch of Basilisks have been released from somewhere and are slithering amok all throughout the land. it's up to one person and one person alone to save the whole human race from a) becoming trees, b) being petrified by the basilisks, or c) both, in which case they turn into petrified wood

;D

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  • 1 month later...

A talentless wizard who happens to be at the right place at the right time and has all the luck in the world.

Wait. That's "Forrest Gump."

Let's try this again.
An overly powerful Muggle takes down a wanted wizard one night after getting off of work, but everyone thinks he's said wizard. And every time he tries to prove his innocence, it makes his situation even worse.

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  • 6 months later...

Few Ideas --

1) "Why does your Mum have a scar that spells out sneak?" Hugo Weasley to his fiance.

2) "I'd like to see my kid's Quiditch game. I'd wanted to see my brother play.....that's never going to happen." Cho's muggle.

3) Audrey Weasley, nee Greengrass.

4) "Don't Blink" "Watch the Shadows"  some friendly safety advice inserted into television from the Muggle Worthy Excuse Commitee concerning Luna Scamander's newly discovered magical creatures. 

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