sibilant Posted June 18, 2019 Posted June 18, 2019 welcome to my journal! Hi, I'm Shreya and welcome to my writer's journal! Make yourself a cup of tea, you're in for a wild ride I'm sibilant on the archives as well, and I write primarily Harry Potter fanfiction and poetry. me, as a writer (what you'll find on my ap+) Spoiler themes of family. I've been told recently that I write a lot about familial/platonic relationships, and uh, looking at my AP, that's...not false. Culturally, family is very important to me--honestly, I consider the family to be the most individual unit of society moreso than the individual, so I can't really imagine writing a story that doesn't involve family in some way. | examples: china doll+, reorienting+, keyframe+, the brightest pearl+ stories with very little plot but heavy characterization. lol I'm really selling you on my AP, aren't I? I don't really write very action-packed stories (uhhh the plot of one of my fics is literally just 'Neville tries to write a letter' so...), but I love to explore the emotions and history of characters. | examples: war stories+, china doll+ stories about struggling with forces beyond your control. I have this belief that all stories are ultimately about fate v.s. free will, but that is a thesis for another day haha. Most of my stories explore being bound by some forces beyond your control in some way--either by the influence of other people, or by mental illness, or by racism/other systematic forms of oppression, or by cultural displacement, or by war. I like to explore this as a form of internal conflict (...possibly because I'm struggling with that a lot right now). | examples: war stories+, china doll+, reorienting+, i shout the lightning+, ghosts+, the brightest pearl+ poetry. I've always loved poetry and have recently started to write poetry of my own. I think it'll be a long while yet before I feel I can claim to be a poet, but I know that's how my brain thinks, and even in my prose, you'll see inklings of my poetry coming through. I use poetry (and really writing, as a whole) to explore my emotions and process experiences--so there's lots of themes of displacement, pain, etc. I also use poetry to capture moments. Some of my poems are more technical than other poems, but all of my poetry is really emotional, and I love to hear how different people connect to it! | examples: i shout the lightning+, ghosts+, dandelions+ me, in the future (what i'm working on): Spoiler romance. I love to read romance, but I've never really been able to figure out how to write romance. I've started to realize that all the models I have of romance--from books, movies, other media, real life, etc.--aren't actually very romantic to me at all. So I'm trying to build my own paradigms and framework for romance, which is a bit of a process. My conceptions of romance focus around liberation and empowerment, so you'll probably also see diverse representation. | future fics: mermaid!cho/oc, molly ii/oc bildungsroman (featuring filipino molly struggling with anxiety) diverse representation. I feel very comfortable representing South Asian/Asian stories but I'm trying to work harder to represent other stories, which means a toooon of research. I'm also trying really hard to write intersectional stories, as I become more aware of the fact of all the "and"s in my identity and how those "and"s have influenced my life. | future fics: series of drabbles/one-shots about padma & parvati patil (feat. many other characters of color/of marginalized backgrounds) worldbuilding. okay. I have...a lot of problems with the world that JKR created, and all the assertions she made about it supposedly being "inclusive" and "progressive". So I'm constructing my own version of the wizarding world that is actually progressive. I also find magic to be really cool, and want to build upon on that because, tbh, I feel like a lot of fics don't utilize it enough. | future fics: exploration of the hogwarts library (but sentient bc rowena ravenclaw would NEVER allow the library to be such a dull and normal place); story of an alternative newspaper source emerging post-sww when people realize neither the quibbler nor the daily prophet can be trusted and maybe there shouldn't be a monopoly over media/information more of the same...but with a twist. there's a reason I write a lot of the things I mentioned in the previous section; those themes are fairly fundamental to my identity as a writer/person, so I definitely won't be walking away from them. But I'll try to mix them with some of the things I'm working on, and to experiment more. | future fics: family-centered play about the weasley family, epistolary fic about ted tonks & andromeda black (which also serves as a character study of andromeda & of the black family as a whole...which could also end up turning into a play i haven't really decided ) tbh whatever catches my fancy. ...I have a lot of ideas I also want to work on certain techniques, which I hope I'll be able to develop in all of my writing: dialogue, writing something longer than a teeny one-shot haha, development of plot, and more poetry--especially using literary devices and structure to convey meaning! I may write all of these, or none of these; I'm not very fussy. My goal is really to try to work on all of the areas I mentioned above, and if any are represented in my writing, then, as far as I'm concerned, I'm successful. what you'll find in here: lots of rambling. as is evidenced by the length of this post lol. I really like to write about writing, to record my process. I may occasionally post little essays/breakdowns of old fics. I learn a lot from analyzing my own writing. brainstorming/updates. I'll share picspams/snippets/etc whenever I fee particularly motivated/inspired hopefully, answers to your questions! I'm opening to answering really any questions. ask me about my fics, my future projects, my weird ideas (lol), me as a person, etc. I love questions you're also welcome to offer advice. I'm hoping that this journal will act as a co-learning space table of contents (because i post here too often and lose things): Spoiler 07/30 - new story update + retrospective: presenting & retrospecting on untranslatable 07/21 - update 07/20: best laid plans first thoughts 07/17 - update 07/17: update on the guerrilla librarians, transmigration first thoughts, white noise first thoughts 07/07 - new story update: presenting the brightest pearl 07/03 - update 07/03: in-process reflection #2 on the brightest pearl and the guerrilla librarians first thoughts 06/28 - update 06/28: in-process reflection #1 on the brightest pearl okay. thank you for reading/skimming all of that you deserve a cookie haha!
grumpy cat Posted June 20, 2019 Posted June 20, 2019 *_* okay, but cho as a mermaid???? i need to know more about that story (like...anything that you think wouldn't be too spoilery) you know i basically drool over everything you write so i'm going to skip my awe but it's there!! i'd love to hear more about your theory that all stories are ultimately about fate vs. free will (i don't believe in fate so for me everything that we do has a consequence, every action has a reaction, we're all masters of how our life goes (to en extent since we can't control what we're born into) and i do try to include that in my writing but i haven't yet written anything where this would be too obvious as a theme ) what's your biggest pet peeve with the wizarding world? like, what's the first thing you would change? (except the sentient library because i've already told you that's awesome and it's my new headcanon so anything else haha) black family play sounds like something that would be amazing, tbh (i do love me some dysfunctional family dynamics and it often works really well in play form) what inspires you the most?
sibilant Posted June 21, 2019 Author Posted June 21, 2019 @grumpy cat kris!! 7 hours ago, grumpy cat said: okay, but cho as a mermaid???? i need to know more about that story (like...anything that you think wouldn't be too spoilery) You had really good timing with this question because I just finished making two picspams for this fic (....when I was supposed to be writing oops). The first one is for mermaid!Cho and the second one is for my OC, Mingzhu! okay, so actual information about the fic rather than me just throwing pretty pictures at you basically, I saw this tumblr post+ (m) about jiaoren/Chinese mermaids when I was looking into non-Western mythology and it just sorta screamed Cho to me? I was especially struck by the fact that the jiaoren are known for crying--which is obviously something that Cho is known for as well--and I kind of wanted to turn that trope on its head, and I liked that the jiaoren's tears are turned into something powerful. In my fic, the pearls play a pretty important role plot-wise and there's some ~magic~ around them, but I'm going to keep that secret until I'm done writing I also really liked the fact that the jiaoren are expert weavers. I've always felt like Cho got a really bad deal in the books (...because JKR is racist but that's a rant for another day) and her narrative has sort of been set in stone--and I really like the idea of her being able to weave/unweave her fate, to take her narrative into her own hands. I, uh, also have always thought that mermaids are the prettiest things in the world So this fic is definitely a fantasy-fulfillment in many ways haha. The general plot of the fic is that my OC's dad gets sick and there's supposedly a miracle cure but it's exorbitantly expensive. Jiaoren pearls are highly coveted commodities so Mingzhu goes to Cho and tries to convince her to give up her pearls. In the mythology I've created, jiaoren are bound to the sea except when the moon has risen (I like to call them vampire mermaids haha), and if they give up their pearls, they can leave the sea whenever they desire--but they're bound to whoever holds their pearls. So obvious Cho is reluctant, but Mingzhu is persistent so she continues trying to convince Cho to give up her pearls, and naturally, they fall in love. There's lots of other elements at play and I have a few tricks up my sleeve haha, but that's the general gist. That's all I'll share on the forums but if you want to know more, DM me on Twitter I love to ramble about this fic; the idea has been in my head for like a year now or something? haha. It's also my first foray into world-building and OC creation and writing a genuine romance so if you have tips on any of the above that would be greatly appreciated because it's haaaaaaard. I kinda wanna go back to my comfort zone of character studies but nope, I'm going to try this out because the story is just so cool (in my humble, unbiased opinion). 7 hours ago, grumpy cat said: you know i basically drool over everything you write so i'm going to skip my awe but it's there!! you're too kind omg 7 hours ago, grumpy cat said: i'd love to hear more about your theory that all stories are ultimately about fate vs. free will (i don't believe in fate so for me everything that we do has a consequence, every action has a reaction, we're all masters of how our life goes (to en extent since we can't control what we're born into) and i do try to include that in my writing but i haven't yet written anything where this would be too obvious as a theme ) I'm so excited that you asked this question hahaha. Everyone always has a slightly different reaction when I tell them about this theory of mine so I was curious to hear about your theories I think that the reason I believe all stories are ultimately about fate v.s. free will is because I believe that all conflicts can essentially be boiled down to that, and you can't have a story without some kind of conflict. All conflict arises because the character wants something--peace, their love interest, victory in war, etc.--and there's something standing in their way. I believe that that something is always an agent of fate--whether it's another person or a societal force, etc. I could go into examples but I'd definitely revisit some books you've read and see if you can find traces of that. I've yet to find a story (whether in books, tv, or movies) that doesn't fit this paradigm in some way. (I would also challenge that you haven't written anything where this is obviously a theme because I feel like lionheart and nuclear love deal with it pretty explicitly ). 7 hours ago, grumpy cat said: what's your biggest pet peeve with the wizarding world? like, what's the first thing you would change? (except the sentient library because i've already told you that's awesome and it's my new headcanon so anything else haha) kris you might've asked me an impossible question. it's SO HARD to think of just one thing. The first thing that came to mind was how Eurocentric the Wizarding World is (possibly because I've been thinking about my mermaid!cho fic which is very non-eurocentric) so I'd definitely love to see more of other cultures coming in. Eastern and African cultures have such fascinating ideas about magic and honestly, I feel like JKR missed out a lot. (but also I wouldn't trust her with those cultures in any way haha so maybe it's better that I explore them on my own >>). also to build off the sentient library thing, I feel like there were a lot of missed opportunities around everyday kind of magic. Like I just want talking mirrors that make fun of you (or affirm you, if you want the more wholesome version lol). Little things like that 7 hours ago, grumpy cat said: black family play sounds like something that would be amazing, tbh (i do love me some dysfunctional family dynamics and it often works really well in play form) I'm so glad you think this is a cool idea!! As you know, family dynamics are some of my most favorite things to explore haha. And I totally agree about the play form; I feel like it strips away a lot of things, and lets the characters shine. I read lots of plays and love plays but I've never written one before so idk what'll happen with this idea haha 7 hours ago, grumpy cat said: what inspires you the most? another impossible question omg. also one that I've pondered a lot! Clearly, I have no shortage of ideas. I've found that I get inspiration from other art--like the image of the jiaoren (for the mermaid!cho fic) or other books I've read (like for china doll and courage). I really just have to find one idea that sparks my interest--so I get inspired a lot by images or lines of lyrics or a street sign or things like that. And idk sometimes the ideas just appear out of nowhere. My brain befuddles me Someday I'll make a list of all the places I've found inspiration for writing, which is sure to be a really bizarre list. thanks for the wonderful questions and sorry for my incredibly vague responses (especially about the mermaid cho fic haha). thanks for dropping by!
grumpy cat Posted June 21, 2019 Posted June 21, 2019 7 hours ago, sibilant said: I'm so excited that you asked this question hahaha. Everyone always has a slightly different reaction when I tell them about this theory of mine so I was curious to hear about your theories I think that the reason I believe all stories are ultimately about fate v.s. free will is because I believe that all conflicts can essentially be boiled down to that, and you can't have a story without some kind of conflict. All conflict arises because the character wants something--peace, their love interest, victory in war, etc.--and there's something standing in their way. I believe that that something is always an agent of fate--whether it's another person or a societal force, etc. I could go into examples but I'd definitely revisit some books you've read and see if you can find traces of that. I've yet to find a story (whether in books, tv, or movies) that doesn't fit this paradigm in some way. (I would also challenge that you haven't written anything where this is obviously a theme because I feel like lionheart and nuclear love deal with it pretty explicitly ). i'm always amazed at how people can differently interpret the things others write for me, both lionheart and nuclear love are what happens when someone wants to do something good and it all turns out terribly wrongTM due to their actions (astoria's actions have terrible consequences even though she might not be directly responsible and they're so monumental in that years later she's still traumatised and guilt-ridden....) because life usually isn't a fairy tale and i like to explore the messiness of reality in fics. but, from what you're saying i think i understand what you mean...i just don't particularly like the idea of something other than myself being responsible for what happens to me it seems like we're looking at stories from two different perspectives - like, one is the perspective of the subject/the protagonist and the other is the perspective of something out of their hands, the things that can't be influenced by their actions and then it all goes sort of back to the same thing? i didn't get much sleep (haha) so i might be getting too philosophical or nonsensical but you've definitely made me think about all this a lot more and in depth 7 hours ago, sibilant said: kris you might've asked me an impossible question. it's SO HARD to think of just one thing. The first thing that came to mind was how Eurocentric the Wizarding World is (possibly because I've been thinking about my mermaid!cho fic which is very non-eurocentric) so I'd definitely love to see more of other cultures coming in. Eastern and African cultures have such fascinating ideas about magic and honestly, I feel like JKR missed out a lot. (but also I wouldn't trust her with those cultures in any way haha so maybe it's better that I explore them on my own >>). also to build off the sentient library thing, I feel like there were a lot of missed opportunities around everyday kind of magic. Like I just want talking mirrors that make fun of you (or affirm you, if you want the more wholesome version lol). Little things like that well, one thing was possibly just a figure of speech? so feel free to tell me all about the things you'd like to change...i do think JKR tried to incorporate other cultures through pottermore and then fantastic beasts and...it didn't go all too well so maybe it's best to invent our own - like the mermaid!cho fic - it's honestly so original and wild and out there but from what you've told me it all ties into the wizarding world, and it's all magic anyway so anything is possible. i really love the idea! (also your picspams are lovely *_* ) wasn't there a talking mirror in harry's room in the leaky cauldron when he stayed there during PoA? i feel like there was a mirror insulting him......... 7 hours ago, sibilant said: I'm so glad you think this is a cool idea!! As you know, family dynamics are some of my most favorite things to explore haha. And I totally agree about the play form; I feel like it strips away a lot of things, and lets the characters shine. I read lots of plays and love plays but I've never written one before so idk what'll happen with this idea haha yeah, plays are great for character studies - it's basically having the story you want to tell stripped down to the most fundamental driving forces and letting the characters tell it in their own way. 7 hours ago, sibilant said: a street sign wow
sibilant Posted June 29, 2019 Author Posted June 29, 2019 update - 06/28 I'm trying to update this thread more regularly so that I can share parts of my process, possibility solicit some advice/encouragement/reactions, and idk, just shout into the void because I need to I'm about 3.8k into the mermaid!cho fic (which is tentatively titled the brightest pearl), and already I'm learning a ton. As stated in the first post, I've really committed myself to trying to pursue writing projects that help me develop as a writer. Some of the things I've learned already: oc creation is haaaard. how do y'all do it, really?? I've spent so long picking away at my OC's character, and even though I've developed a fairly comprehensive background for her, I still feel like my characterization of her is pretty inconsistent, and I keep coming up with new questions every writing session. It's kind of crazy how iterative the process of OC creation is...so I guess I'll just have to continue to struggle with that and perhaps ultimately pass it off as just her being imperfect? idk, if anyone has any tidbits of wisdom about OC creation I'd love to hear. Help a girl out haha. au's are haaaaard. I feel like I sort of signed myself up for this by picking what is possibly the wildest AU imaginable I've been struggling a lot with the world-building of the universe I created; I thought the hardest part would be crafting the mythology of the jiaoren, but actually, there were so many thematic elements to draw upon that it wasn't that hard. So I'm left sort of grappling with the general elements of the island that my OC and Cho live on; I've really been focusing on how isolation might shape the society of the island, but I might try to play with how mythology/superstition affects the society too. I've been discovering some really fascinating Chinese myths! Like I said, I'm learning so much from this fic and even though it might actually kill me, I'm really enjoying writing it As part of my OC's character development (and also for a dash of realism tbh), the society is homophobic--not in the sense that they stone queer people, but in the sense that they shun and erase them. So I'm going to play with that too, but it's pretty hard for me to write about all of that the other problem I've discovered with AU's is consistent characterization...which is even harder with a character like Cho. I've realized how much JKR reduced her personality, making her really this bland one-dimensional character who was really only known for crying My Cho is shaping up to be vulnerable but cynical because of everything she's endured, very shrewd and analytical, desperately clinging to hope. I feel like writing AUs around minor characters is an interesting exercise because in many ways, Cho feels kinda like an OC...which really makes me continue to question whether this fic is Too AU haha romance is haaard. (...obviously there's a trend with this fic haha ). I've never really written a romance fic before. idk, for some reason, romantic relationships are really hard for me to write--really, in general, I prefer to explore dynamics in established relationships (of any kind) over the process of a new relationship starting. I think the lack of established history makes it hard for me to find threads of connection. In the fic, Cho & Mingzhu (my OC) just met and I tried to allude to some sort of instant connection (because that's Conventionally Romantic) but idk...it feels rather forced? Future scenes where Cho and Mingzhu's relationship is developing more are much easier for me to imagine, though. So I really feel like it's just early relationship dynamics that are escaping me, for whatever reason. The other issue I'm running into is that I feel like I'm incapable of writing romantic moments I think I'm perfect capable of writing really emotional interactions between people (just thinking of china doll and reorienting, as two very obvious examples of this), but I feel like my attempts to add romance are too overt and awkward. I might just need some good recommendations of fics that really do a good job with a natural progression in a relationship, so that I can study those and figure out how they do it. writing is such an iterative process. I've always been aware of how iterative my writing process is (I'm definitely not one of those people who can just sit down and bang out a draft--I truly think those people are magical or something), but this fic has made me painfully aware. Even before I started writing, I went through probably 3-4 drafts of the outline, taking pieces from one draft to another. And then when I started writing, I've written sections of like 400-500 words and then gone back to outlining, then possibly gone back to editing the previous sections or continuing to add more while still editing the previous sections/making notes about places to edit other sections... I feel like I was conventionally taught that the process of writing was very linear: outline --> draft --> revise repeatedly --> polished final version. It's definitely not like that for me, though, and I'm curious whether this is something other people experience or if it's just my overactive, always over-thinking brain. i love mermaids. not exactly the most intellectual insight, but guys...the number of times my OC just rambles internally about how beautiful mermaids are...this fic is so indulgent in so many ways haha. #noshame so anyways. that's where my head's at. I feel really uncomfortable with everything I've written so far with this fic--so that means that I'm learning a lot, because I really do believe that when you challenge yourself, writing shouldn't feel easy. That doesn't mean that I won't complain a little though (hence this post ). in terms of completion: this fic is so far 3.8k, so I'm guessing it'll be maybe a total of 8k? I'm really not sure haha I also think the writing will go somewhat faster now because the first bit was what I hadn't really figured out too well and feels just so out of my comfort zone. So I'm hoping I'll be making good progress over the next week, shooting to have the draft mostly completed by the end of the next week! Fingers crossed. I'm definitely going to need some encouragement to make that goal haha Thanks for reading/skimming! I'd love to hear thoughts/advice/etc if you have any (last meta-reflection: good god, this post is evidence of how aggressively Ravenclaw I am )
Guest Noelle Zingarella Posted June 29, 2019 Posted June 29, 2019 Can I tell you how much I love both your writing and this Cho as a mermaid story idea? I am very interested in mythology and folk tales and I enjoy using them in stories myself--so I'm super excited to see someone else who does the same. These might not be helpful to you, but here are some thoughts I had about the questions you asked in the above post: 13 hours ago, sibilant said: I still feel like my characterization of her is pretty inconsistent, and I keep coming up with new questions every writing session. When I started writing Moonlight, it took me about eight chapters of writing Miranda before I truly felt that I had a handle on her character. And I wound up going back and rewriting the first 7 chapters in order to incorporate what I'd learned about her. The fact that your OC is 'inconsistent' now says to me that she's going to be like a real person--multi-faceted. I think the best thing to do is just keep drafting, and then, when you've gotten to know her and Cho better at the end of the draft, go back and be willing to rewrite a lot to show the characters how you see them. 13 hours ago, sibilant said: So I'm left sort of grappling with the general elements of the island that my OC and Cho live on; I've really been focusing on how isolation might shape the society of the island, but I might try to play with how mythology/superstition affects the society too. I've been discovering some really fascinating Chinese myths! Like I said, I'm learning so much from this fic and even though it might actually kill me, I'm really enjoying writing it As part of my OC's character development (and also for a dash of realism tbh), the society is homophobic--not in the sense that they stone queer people, but in the sense that they shun and erase them. So I'm going to play with that too, but it's pretty hard for me to write about all of that I've already said that I love that you are using the myth aspect in your story. I think that it can be useful to remember that no one gets up in the morning and decides to be evil. Everyone believes that he or she is the hero of his or her own story and that he or she is a force for good--even if he or she is totally mistaken about what good is. So, try to figure out where everyone is coming from and how everyone sees themselves. 13 hours ago, sibilant said: The other issue I'm running into is that I feel like I'm incapable of writing romantic moments I think I'm perfect capable of writing really emotional interactions between people (just thinking of china doll and reorienting, as two very obvious examples of this), but I feel like my attempts to add romance are too overt and awkward. There are a lot of ways to write romance and the tingling jolt of electricity type is only one of them. I do that a lot in my novel, but that's because the point of my novel is that the attraction starts out almost purely physical and then, almost accidentally, becomes something emotional and the consequences of all of that. You are very good at writing emotional scenes, so play to your strengths. What draws the OC to Cho? Is she moved by Cho's tears? Is Cho mysterious because she's a mermaid? Do they feel like the other person seems very comfortable and easy to be around? Do they feel like they've come home when the other person smiles? I actually think that @crestwood is very good at writing the sort of moving, romantic scenes might be more natural for you to write. Check out Pageantry (M), Reasons to Want You (M), and Lead Existence (M) for some examples. 13 hours ago, sibilant said: I feel like I was conventionally taught that the process of writing was very linear: outline --> draft --> revise repeatedly --> polished final version. It's definitely not like that for me, though, and I'm curious whether this is something other people experience or if it's just my overactive, always over-thinking brain. I don't have a totally linear process myself. I started out with an overall idea of where my novel was going, but I wrote from the hip so to speak for the beginning of it. I have a more specific outline now, but I am constantly revising it as I go along, although the main plot hasn't changed. I've also already written out a few scenes from much later in the story. I like to draft as quickly as I can just to get the words out, and then set it aside for a couple of days, and then come back and retype the whole thing. I find that I am more willing to make the needed changes if I retype, and that the things that I keep I really like because I'm willing to retype them. But no, I don't think that writing is a linear process--at least not for me. 13 hours ago, sibilant said: i love mermaids. Mermaids are awesome. I can't wait to see this story! Thanks for letting me ramble in your journal.
sibilant Posted June 29, 2019 Author Posted June 29, 2019 @Noelle Zingarella thank you so much for rambling in my journal! This is exactly the kind of advice I was hoping for. It never occurred to me that I would learn about my characters throughout the process of writing the draft (I was also conventionally taught that you need to figure everything out about your characters and plot before starting to draft), but I feel much better now with that perspective. I'm looking forward to process of revising! Thanks so much for all your help! And I'm really excited that you're excited; it sort of validates that maybe my idea isn't as wild or purely self-indulgent as I originally thought
sibilant Posted July 4, 2019 Author Posted July 4, 2019 update 07/03 look at me, being so consistent with updating this thread I wanted to record my progress, and idk, keep rambling to the void because I feel like sharing the brightest pearl As consistent as I've been with updating this thread, I have not nearly been so consistent with working on this fic current reflections: dialogue is the bane of my existence. I feel like my characters don't sound like real people lol. if anyone has tips for realistic dialogue, that'd be great romance continues to be so hard omg. I've outlined a lot of the romantic moments to come, and idk, they just feel sort of cheesy to me? haha. The thing with this fic is that there are very very overt themes of liberation and feminism, and I'm not at all being subtle about it--so I wonder if possibly some of the effect of the themes is lost in how in-your-face they are? idk. I think that's something I'll have to deal with when I'm revising. outlining is really helpful. I just finished what is probably like my fifth or so outline for this fic (), and with each pass, I feel like more pieces fall into piece. I think I'll still need to do a deep dive into the latter portions of the story, that I haven't thought about as much--but I have a good idea about some of the motifs that are carried throughout the fic. plots are weird. I don't think I've actually written such a plotty fic before...and when you guys read this fic, you'll see that it really isn't even that plotty Most of the plot revolves around emotions and supernatural forces and a little bit on the characters' actions. Also the crux of the rising action is basically just a series of conversations. warning, this is not a very action-packed and exciting fic haha I feel like the fic is generally driven so much by emotion, which is why I'm extra concerned about it feeling too heavy to the point that it feels insincere. Other than those complaints, really, writing this fic has been pretty fun! I'm learning a lot while writing it, and finally feel like I'm discovering my process and realizing exactly how I work as a writer (which is slooooooow lol). In terms of WC, the fic currently stands at 5.1k and is approximately at the beginning of the rising action, so I'm expecting there to be at least 5K more? and then there will be edits, so more might be added/deleted. My guesstimate for final WC is probably 10k, but who really knows for fun, I've been recording the current WC & my estimated final word count at the beginning of each writing session and at one point, my guesstimate was 5K. I'm laughing at that now Clearly, past!Shreya did not anticipate how wordy and talkative I am haha. the guerilla librarians (title wip) When I haven't been agonizing over the brightest pearl, I've been slowly plotting my entry for Lexi's challenge. I was inspired by an episode of 99% Invisible (my favorite podcast, I highly recommend!!) about the Great Book Purge of San Francisco (basically there was a huge earthquake in SFO and the library was affected and they needed to get rid of books because they simply did not have the space). My book lover hurt so much hearing that story, and then naturally my thoughts turned to fic The basic premise of the fic is that a group of Hogwarts students take it upon themselves to save all Muggle/Muggle-related books after the Death Eaters order a purge of the books. This fic is in part a love letter to books, a passionate rebuke of censorship, and an exploration of these specific characters. I'm really interested in exploring acts of heroism and motivations behind these acts (if you're interested in seeing more of that, you should read war stories!). So I deliberately selected minor characters/characters who wouldn't really be associated with heroism. I also wanted to take the opportunity to add more diversity! obligatory picspam, since that's all I do nowadays, when I really should be writing brief character descriptions: lily moon. gryffindor. the instigator. sarcastic and brash with a secret soft side. struggling with grieving her muggle father after he was murdered by death eaters. plan? what plan? lively, in all senses of the word. will seize any opportunity to rebel and flip off the death eaters. sally anne perks. ravenclaw. catches lily in the act and becomes a co-conspirator, because really, she's definitely going to get caught at this rate. master schemer, enjoys being right, has always been lonely and finds great joy in being part of something greater than herself. terry boot. ravenclaw. a social justice warrior who's really kind of an idiot but means very well, hopeless romantic. forces himself into the group out of his complete inability to mind his own business. has an acid pop addiction (he will definitely burn his tongue off at this rate). caffeine-drunk, bad habits, feels happiest with a friend. justin finch-fletchley. hufflepuff. becomes involved to make sure terry, his boyfriend, doesn't do something stupid (...again). sort of stuck up, but has always dreamed of becoming a superhero. suffers through an existential crisis at least three times a week, overly obsessed with analyzing his dreams, loves to mix french and english words just 'cause. tracey davis. slytherin. the reluctant mom friend, arising truly out of necessity rather than out of will; strong personal moral code, acts as a double agent. always exasperated by her friends' stupidity. calm, charming, and almost frustratingly persuasive. challenge her to a staring contest, i dare you. all the characters are very much still WIPs, but one thing I've tried to be intentional about is giving them all them different reasons for wanting to become involved--especially because there are nontrivial consequences if they were to be caught feel free to ask me questions about any of these dorks/react to their mini-bios (...which really say nothing at all about them lol). my favorite character so far is lily, and here's a picspam I made for her! (...I really need to stop ahhh). ...writers are allowed to have crushes on their own characters, right? asking for a friend okay, I've rambled for long enough now thank you for reading/skimming this, would love to hear thoughts if you have any
crestwood Posted July 4, 2019 Posted July 4, 2019 Hello! I really love when people go so in depth about their work in their journals, and I couldn’t help but comment on this post. Dialogue is probably my favorite part of writing, but I don’t know if I have any actual advice because I just start writing it and tend to keep the first thing that comes to mind. I suppose it helps that I talk a LOT, and just have a ton of conversations with all different kinds of people. (And somehow I listen even more.) If the romantic moments are cheesy, I say lean into it. I wrote a proposal scene that was so incredibly over the top that I thought for sure would be too much and it seems to be the scene that a lot of people take away from the story as a whole. Go big and be brash, because romance is actually that way sometimes! And I really love to write the starts of relationships; how they came to be and why. I think the most important thing to keep in mind if you don’t write a lot of romance stories is that sometimes it’s okay if the reader isn’t immediately clear about why your characters are so drawn to one another, because a lot of the time the character’s aren’t totally sure themselves! I’m excited about this fic, obviously. And I have to say, the guerilla librarians has to be one of the most personally appealing premises ever. And every single character bio has stirred my interest and I really really have to read this. Also, the Ms. Marvel sig set is amazing! I’ll see myself out now
grumpy cat Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 just going to casually slither in to say i love guerilla librarians. so you have to get on writing that asap. after the mermaid fic. i'm supposedly good at dialogue but i have no idea how that even happened the way i write it is just going from what i'd actually say in a situation, without using too many fancy words or something (except if a character has a thing for using fancy words.....but i haven't written someone like that..... yet.), and i also like to use 'er' or 'uhm' and also people trailing off or being interrupted by someone else saying something or by something happening - which is what often happens IRL. and people not actually listening and asking others to repeat stuff.
sibilant Posted July 5, 2019 Author Posted July 5, 2019 On 7/4/2019 at 6:05 PM, crestwood said: Hello! I really love when people go so in depth about their work in their journals, and I couldn’t help but comment on this post. Hi!! Thanks for dropping by, I'm really glad that you appreciate my nonsensical rambling haha On 7/4/2019 at 6:05 PM, crestwood said: Dialogue is probably my favorite part of writing, but I don’t know if I have any actual advice because I just start writing it and tend to keep the first thing that comes to mind. I suppose it helps that I talk a LOT, and just have a ton of conversations with all different kinds of people. (And somehow I listen even more.) 2 hours ago, grumpy cat said: i'm supposedly good at dialogue but i have no idea how that even happened the way i write it is just going from what i'd actually say in a situation, without using too many fancy words or something (except if a character has a thing for using fancy words.....but i haven't written someone like that..... yet.), and i also like to use 'er' or 'uhm' and also people trailing off or being interrupted by someone else saying something or by something happening - which is what often happens IRL. and people not actually listening and asking others to repeat stuff. Both of you are insanely good at dialogue so this is really great advice, thanks I think ultimately my problems with dialogue fall on the fact that I'm a very quiet person IRL and have trouble figuring out what to say...so obviously my social anxiety would transfer to writing I'm going to pay more attention to the way I talk/characters in TV shows with realistic dialogue talk, to get some sense. On 7/4/2019 at 6:05 PM, crestwood said: If the romantic moments are cheesy, I say lean into it. I wrote a proposal scene that was so incredibly over the top that I thought for sure would be too much and it seems to be the scene that a lot of people take away from the story as a whole. Go big and be brash, because romance is actually that way sometimes! And I really love to write the starts of relationships; how they came to be and why. I think the most important thing to keep in mind if you don’t write a lot of romance stories is that sometimes it’s okay if the reader isn’t immediately clear about why your characters are so drawn to one another, because a lot of the time the character’s aren’t totally sure themselves! This is such good advice. I feel like this is going to help me to get out of my own head haha. Thank you! On 7/4/2019 at 6:05 PM, crestwood said: I’m excited about this fic, obviously. I'm so excited that you're excited!! On 7/4/2019 at 6:05 PM, crestwood said: And I have to say, the guerilla librarians has to be one of the most personally appealing premises ever. And every single character bio has stirred my interest and I really really have to read this. 2 hours ago, grumpy cat said: just going to casually slither in to say i love guerilla librarians. so you have to get on writing that asap. after the mermaid fic. YAY I'm so excited other people are into the idea haha It's another fairly self indulgent fic. Honestly I was thinking about how much I would love to read something like that, and figured if it doesn't exist, I might as well write it myself haha. Also if Kris has commanded me to write it, then I simply must On 7/4/2019 at 6:05 PM, crestwood said: Also, the Ms. Marvel sig set is amazing! That's all Kris! It's spectacular Thank you to both of you for dropping in with thoughts/reactions! It's really encouraging and helps me keep my muse up heh
sibilant Posted July 8, 2019 Author Posted July 8, 2019 new story update! I DID IT I FINISHED THE BRIGHTEST PEARL I will post a coherent reflection on my process and the finished result after I've processed the fact that I actually finished it after a year of thinking about it and a month of writing it the brightest pearl In which a witch fails to follows plans and a mermaid frees herself. suggested playlist: ok basically anything by janelle monae I really, really love these characters so at some point in the future, I might write a sequel
sibilant Posted July 18, 2019 Author Posted July 18, 2019 update 07/17 It's been too long since I posted here I have made some decent progress, and true to form, I've come up with a few other fics that just won't seem to leave me alone the guerrilla librarians currently about 800 words in this fic. I've outlined the start pretty well and a few scenes in the middle, and I have a good idea of the general storyline. This fic is, in some ways, much easier to write than the brightest pearl; the setting feels much more familiar and I've instantly connected to the characters. To no one's surprise though, I have a long list of things that I'm struggling with: balancing different tones. The major tone of this piece is actually fairly lighthearted, optimistic, sarcastic...but there's also undertones of darkness, because this fic does take place in a pretty dark setting (the occupation of Hogwarts). So I've been trying to figure out how to balance the two drastically different tones without the darkness feeling out of place and without the lightness cheapening the darkness. It's definitely a tough line to walk! managing a cast of multiple characters. the most characters I've written in a fic before is three, and this fic has five main characters. There's only one POV but I'm still feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the number of characters? I'm worried about not giving each character the time they deserve to really develop (though to be fair, given that this fic will likely be just a one-shot, there's not too much development that'll be happening ). tips on any of the above would be great for your troubles, I also have another picspam to share and a snippet! The picspam is of Sally-Anne Perks, the main character of the fic. a little bit more about sally: she's incredibly curious and pragmatic, a natural schemer. she's the mastermind behind the guerrilla librarians' operation the daughter of a Muggle policeman and a witch, so a desire for justice has been ingrained within her she's kind of a loner--not out of choice, but simply out of how reserved she tends to be. she's drawn to the guerrilla librarians as a way to find the belonging that she didn't really know she needed and the snippet (rated T)! this is the first 200 words for the fic, which I think sets the scene/tone pretty well also shout out to my girl Padma and a sneak peek of Terry, another main character in the fic (though not exactly the best first impression ) Spoiler Sally-Anne, inexplicably and certainly against her best reason, found herself in the library past curfew, rummaging through the Muggle history shelves. It was such a cliche--the Ravenclaw sneaking around the library late at night, hunting down information on an obscure niche topic that would really only ever be of interest to Muggle history nerds. But, in her defense, Sally-Anne had a very good reason--namely, she had to prove a certain misogynistic idiot wrong. Earlier that morning at breakfast, Terry, said misogynistic idiot, had served possibly the coldest take in existence: he claimed that Voldemort wouldn’t be nearly as terrifying if he was a woman. All the girls at the Ravenclaw table had immediately shot him a dirty look. Lisa threw a French toast stick at him (Sally-Anne watched with fascination as unfazed, he attempted, and failed, to catch it in his mouth). Padma had a positively murderous expression on her face; Sally-Anne had been genuinely concerned that she intended on reaching across the table and physically attacking him to give him incontrovertible firsthand proof to the contrary. (It had been lowkey a little hot, but Sally-Anne didn’t have the time to psychoanalyze her apparent kink for female serial killers). other projects I've started two other projects that are pretty small in scope. Both are things that are much more familiar and natural to me than the brightest pearl and the guerrilla librarians and part of me feels a bit like I should be pushing myself to explore something out of my comfort zone...but also I love these ideas and feel like I've earned something that doesn't feel as hard transmigration One of the other projects I'm working is a OF piece that is a follow-up of sorts to my poem, ghosts. I was actually inspired by something @Noelle Zingarella said in her review of ghosts (which is my favorite poem I've written to date, probably), when she questioned first what the ghosts wanted from the speaker of the poem and whether they were calling out to the speaker or if she was calling out to ghosts...all of which inspired some pretty interesting thoughts about ghosts and immigration and Indian culture in my head. I'm going to keep the description of this fic fairly vague because I'm still figuring out the details and it's pretty personal to me, but the basic premise is that the main character suddenly finds a ghost following her who appears eerily like her an alternate version of her. This fic is a magical realism short story that explores themes of expectations v.s. reality, of trying to let go of a home/reality that you never really knew so that you can adjust to a new reality, assimilation, the feelings of displacement and interruptedness that come from immigrating to a different country. The title, transmigration, is also known as reincarnation/rebirth and the concept of it is pretty essential to Hinduism. I really liked the word transmigration for including the word "migration" inside--to capture different levels of passage between two states of being. I'm really excited about this fic. It's not going to be a long piece but because I'm so personally invested I think it's going to take me a while to write it. But if you liked ghosts, I think you'll really like it! white noise This! I'm so excited for this First, a tragic story. About two years ago, when I first started writing war stories, I had all of these crazy cool ideas about what might've happened during the Second Wizarding War, tons of headcanons that bloomed into really interesting character studies. I wrote all of them down in a notebook and then, my family moved and I LOST MY NOTEBOOK T_T I didn't back any of that stuff up to the cloud so essentially I lost all of my ideas Recently, I've been thinking a lot about war stories though, and I finally got another idea! white noise is the second installment of war stories (I hesitate to call it a chapter because this fic is not structured conventionally; it's somewhat of a one-shot collection but all existing within the same universe and with a very specific thread of common events running through it). white noise centers around Lee Jordan and Potterwatch; the fic starts with him starting a broadcast of Potterwatch marking the twentieth anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. But much like courage (the first installment of war stories), the fic quickly becomes very introspective and looking into the past from the future. Lee reflects on past broadcasts of Potterwatch, and ultimately reveals, like Neville in courage, that he did something bad that I'm not going to reveal Like courage, white noise also explores a darker and more realistic side of heroism. In my opinion, it's actually a bit darker than courage, but uh, that'll ultimately be up to you decide white noise also has themes of telling your own story, of handling the responsibilities of heroism when you're really just a child, of forgiveness after war not only from others but also from yourself. I really like Lee Jordan as a character because I feel like, much like Neville, he's been cast in a certain light and hasn't really been allowed to grow from the role. I've always thought Potterwatch was super brave, especially because having information is so essential during wartime--and it's so much responsibility for one person, someone who wasn't much older than I am, to be the singular source of truth and hope during wartime. I'm positive that it broke him in some ways, and I'm excited to share my broken, realer version of Lee Jordan If you liked courage, you'll certainly like white noise! If anyone wants to let me spoil it for them, I'd really like to flail about white noise to someone--especially as I try to nail down the more specific details. Okay this is more than enough rambling for one post. Thank you very much for reading
grumpy cat Posted July 18, 2019 Posted July 18, 2019 18 hours ago, sibilant said: If anyone wants to let me spoil it for them, I'd really like to flail about white noise to someone--especially as I try to nail down the more specific details. hello, my name is kris and i'm an enabler. /aka am i ever going to use a different gif in your WJ? probably not. i loved reading that little snippet of guerilla librarians! .....also i know this isn't a love story but.....are we going to see sally-anne/padma? in general, i just really love the take you have on sally-anne - i know she's basically an OC but she seems like such a cool and witty character transmigration sounds like something i would definitely love to read *_* i know it's like, totally personal for you and i'm excited to see what comes of it - the symbolism you've talked about is def my kind of thing and i expect it's going to be awesome.
sibilant Posted July 21, 2019 Author Posted July 21, 2019 On 7/18/2019 at 5:38 PM, grumpy cat said: hello, my name is kris and i'm an enabler. /aka am i ever going to use a different gif in your WJ? probably not. PLEASE ONLY EVER USE THIS GIF It's really so motivating, you don't even know. On 7/18/2019 at 5:38 PM, grumpy cat said: i loved reading that little snippet of guerilla librarians! .....also i know this isn't a love story but.....are we going to see sally-anne/padma? in general, i just really love the take you have on sally-anne - i know she's basically an OC but she seems like such a cool and witty character I'm sooo glad that you asked this question hehe. Currently I ship Sally-Anne with at least three girls so, uh, we'll see I do love the idea of Sally-Anne/Padma having a fling and that might appear in a different fic But I'm glad that your shipper heart, like mine, immediately went heart-eyes at them haha. I didn't plan for Sally-Anne to like Padma but my girl was on my mind and then...it just happened... I'm also really glad that you like her as a character, and I hope that you'll continue to like her when I'm done with the fic On 7/18/2019 at 5:38 PM, grumpy cat said: transmigration sounds like something i would definitely love to read *_* i know it's like, totally personal for you and i'm excited to see what comes of it - the symbolism you've talked about is def my kind of thing and i expect it's going to be awesome. I'm really excited to eventually share it. A little bit scared because it is so personal (that's why I haven't started writing it because it's really scary to start and I just get really emotional), but I feel like I sort of need to write it because it is scary personal. As always, thank you thank you thank you for coming by my WJ
sibilant Posted July 21, 2019 Author Posted July 21, 2019 okay double post because I have another update update 07/20 It is entirely too early to be struck with *another* idea for a fic, but this one also won't leave me alone (and has been half on my mind for like a year now). (Sidenote: you are witnessing the most Ravenclaw part of me, with the insane number of ideas I'm struck with on a daily basis haha. I blame the world for being so interesting and inspiring). I've never written a novella/novel before, but I just started plotting what'll probably shape up to be a full-length novel (woah). A few things about it: it'll be a JSP/OC because I'm nostalgic trash the main character is Madeleine Thomas-Finnegan, the adopted daughter of Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan. Maddy is a ravenclaw (of course ), and the fic follows her through her seventh year at Hogwarts. Maddy has been best friends with Albus for years and is convinced that she's in love with him (because why not throw in alllll the tropes). Over the course of her seventh year, she'll realize that she's less in love with Albus and more the concept of Albus/the role she's put him in her head, and realize her true feelings for James. I could talk about this for yearsss. This will most definitely not be a love triangle; if anything, this fic is mostly just Maddy readjusting her conception of love. Maddy's doing a Junior Healer program over her seventh year, as part of the pipeline into the Healer Training Program. So of course she'll have to work with James Maddy is also a key strategist for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team (girl's doing so much, geez). She's not the best Quidditch player, but she's a damn good strategist--and she's determined to have Ravenclaw win the Quidditch Cup. (The Claw pride is very strong in this fic). there's a few other subplots that I want to tease a little. some of these are honestly more exciting to me than the romantic plot : Maddy's desire to become a Healer is a constant struggle over the course of the fic. Spoiler alert: she does not become a Healer at the end of the fic. This isn't really a spoiler because it's abundantly clear from the start that she's really not built to be a Healer. Maddy doesn't really many friends other than Albus and the friends that she does have are pretty toxic, so a major subplot is forming other friends who can support one another as they enter an increasingly chaotic world. Maddy tries to reconnect with her biological mother, who is a Healer and the cause of many of her abandonment issues/problems in general. insert link to That Not-Forum-Appropriate-Philip-Larkin-Poem (This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin (m). Big digression, but this is one of my favorite poems and certainly one of my favorite poets heh). Spoiler alert: it doesn't go the way she expects. Maddy connects to Dean & Seamus more, and to her older adopted brother Damien (who is the coolest person in the world and I could ramble about how great he is he's very much based off of my own brother so yeah, you're getting Peak Sentimental Self-Inserty Shreya here). and of course, the Quidditch Cup is an overarching subplot as well. I've never written Quidditch scenes so this'll be...a trip. (My eye is literally twitching because I know that it's going to be Awful but fine, I guess I'll subject myself to it for the sake of the story). as you can tell, there aren't any super exciting or mysterious plots in this fic It's largely about learning how to be okay with/embrace uncertainty--in life, in your future, in relationships, etc. I doubt that this description is very intriguing or interesting, but if you're into the idea and are willing to let me yell at you more about it, that would be so good. some of the things that are troubling me with this fic so far: novel writing. like I said, I haven't ever written a novel before, so the entire idea is daunting. I have this novel plan spreadsheet (which I can share if anyone's interested) and hundreds of planning documents scattered everywhere. Every time I open up any of these documents I get a little freaked out--but I'm getting it together I just have immense admiration/appreciation of people who can actually write novels because it requires a level of organization that I don't think I'm capable of haha. plotting. this is a very character-driven novel, which is definitely my strength, but is still a bit tough to handle--especially when it comes to figuring out what the exact plot of the fic is. If anyone has suggestions/ideas for that, I'd love to hear them! uhhhh romance. god, the bane of my existence. I love to read it but sometimes writing it feels like pulling teeth--especially because Maddy's romantic relationships in this fic are particualrly complicated. idk, I think that's something I'll just need to struggle with. also because I feel like I'm extremely negative in my WJ, I wanted to highlight a few of the things that I'm particularly excited about in this fic: representation! Damien is bi, Albus realizes he's gay (scorbus is endgame, also not really a spoiler because it is so abundantly clear). Maddy's black, a lot of her friends/roommates/etc are POC. I love the representation so much; just thinking about it makes me so happy. I know that the concept/plot of this fic is far from the most original thing ever, but I feel like the representation in itself makes it more worth telling. I know I would've loved to read a fic like this when I was first getting into fanfiction and never seeing anyone who looked even remotely like me. the friends & family subplots. I think I've been very very clear about how much I love and care about family and friend subplots--way more important than romantic relationships imo--and they feature very prominently in this fic. I'm still figuring out the relationships but I already feel excited and happy and fulfilled. the romance. okay this is contradicting my previous point, but uh, this fic is going to be cute af And even though the relationships are complicated, I'm really excited to dig into that. okay this is enough rambling. thanks for reading!
sibilant Posted July 30, 2019 Author Posted July 30, 2019 new story update + retrospective! I've been feeling really blocked with some of my current projects and was suddenly seized by inspiration to write an entry for Kaitlin's Play With Your Food Challenge--which actually did a really good job at unblocking me untranslatable The spices don't give up their secrets easily. This fic is a sequel to/continuation of reorienting—and it looks like it might become part of a series focused around the Patil twins, if my muse for them is any indication untranslatable picks up pretty quick after reorienting with Padma and Parvati adjusting to living with each other and without their parents. Of course, one of the biggest struggles of living by yourself is cooking for yourself Like reorienting, untranslatable is an exploration of culture and trying to form a connection to culture. It is also, more specifically, an exploration of connection to family and family as conveyors and creators of culture. Also like reorienting, it's extremely personal and heavily informed by/inspired by my own life. retrospective I think this is actually the first time I've properly documented my retrospective process so I'll give a little context For classes/work I do retrospectives often. The goal of a retrospective is to analyze your work and then set a goal for the next "sprint"/project. I've done retrospectives in some form (often times fairly informal) for most of my writing, but I wanted to share it plus [positives/things I'm proud of]: I feel like there's clearly a lot of emotion in this fic and that it's conveyed very strongly and genuinely. I think I did a really good job connecting to/taking advantage of the challenge theme. I personally love my characterizations of Padma and Parvati, and I feel like the differences/similarities between them are increasingly clear (which is super important to me because they're often typecast as being bland and the same). There's a few sections/paragraphs that make my poet heart flutter haha (which feels very arrogant to admit about myself hehe). I tried to really hard to vary my sentence structure in this fic since I know I have a tendency to be long-winded. I think the flow is much better than in other fics! I fought the urge to edit as I wrote when I was drafting which meant I drafted this fic way faster This is also my first time writing a fic that's a sequel to another fic, and I think I did a good job building off of the groundwork laid by reorienting and planting the seeds for threads to be explored in future fics. delta [things that could be improved]: I feel like the dialogue is still a bit stilted, but I think I'm definitely getting increasingly better at realistic dialogue. tbh I feel like the brunt of this fic may not be super interesting/engaging to everyone haha I definitely didn't experiment much with this fic. This is entirely within my comfort zone. I think I could do better about teasing some of the dimensions to Padma and Parvati's relationship. I feel like some of my descriptions of Padma and Parvati's past may be vague. I haven't nailed down all the details of their background/personalities. Uhhh writing a Gryffindor character was really hard Mostly it manifested in Parvati making jokes about Padma's Ravenclawishness and being generally reckless, but I think I could try to represent/explore that better. I also feel like I continue to struggle with narrative voice v.s. character voice, so I may need to do more research/analysis into that. kaizen [a manageable, direct mission statement/goal for the next project]: vary sentence structure and style for better flow, and start to research/read up on narrative voice v.s. character voice.
nott theodore Posted August 1, 2019 Posted August 1, 2019 Shreya! so I was going to stop by and just leave some questions but then I read properly through your writer's journal and you're such a Ravenclaw (in the nicest way possible) in how organised you are with writing, but all your updates are so interesting and amazing (This Be the Verse is one of my favourite poems, ah! also mermaids) and I can't wait for Guerilla Librarians!! So, here's some much more (hopefully) specific questions! 1. Do you find that poetry and prose writing require you to be in different "moods"? 2. Similarly, do you find that your inspiration from poetry comes from a different place to your prose inspiration? 3. Do you have a favourite poetic form? 4. reorienting was a beautiful piece, and I know you've said that you tend to write a lot of family and friend relationships. What was it about Padma and Parvati that drew you to their story? Do you have head canon for the sisters, and is reorienting part of that? 5. So, Guerilla Librarians. Saving the books! There's obviously a lot of examples of this in history, but are there any specific instances which are inspiring the story? 6. Do you have a favourite character so far from writing Guerilla Librarians? Have any of them surprised you so far while you're writing? 7. Can you describe Sally-Anne Perks in three words? 8. What are you most excited about in writing this story?
sibilant Posted August 5, 2019 Author Posted August 5, 2019 @nott theodore Siannn! Thank you so much for these lovely questions! It took me a while to respond to them because they made me think a lot haha On 8/1/2019 at 4:34 PM, nott theodore said: I read properly through your writer's journal and you're such a Ravenclaw (in the nicest way possible) in how organised you are with writing, but all your updates are so interesting and amazing (This Be the Verse is one of my favourite poems, ah! also mermaids) and I can't wait for Guerilla Librarians!! omg you're so kind I'm really glad you appreciate my need for organization and detail-orientedness haha. Also Philip Larkin is one of my absolute favorite poets and mermaids are one of my absolute favorite creatures, and I'm super excited to have found someone who's appreciation of both matches mine On 8/1/2019 at 4:34 PM, nott theodore said: 1. Do you find that poetry and prose writing require you to be in different "moods"? This is such a fascinating question! I love questions like this because they make me think on a very philosophical level about myself as a writer and as a person hehe, which is exactly the type of thing I wanted to bring to my WJ. After much deliberation (and a mini-existential crisis), I determined that it kind of depends? I do think that generally, I have to be in a very raw mood to write poetry--where my emotions are very easily accessible. With some of my prose, though, I find myself in a similar state--though generally, I can maintain a certain distance through the necessity of a narrative that excludes me. Because I am often a central character in my own poetry, I find that it requires me being in an extra-reflective state. On 8/1/2019 at 4:34 PM, nott theodore said: 2. Similarly, do you find that your inspiration from poetry comes from a different place to your prose inspiration? I've thought about this a lot so I'm really glad you asked this question! My inspiration for poetry comes mainly from within, from feelings and struggles I grapple with (though that is definitely present in my prose as well). My inspiration for poetry also comes usually from observations/analyses of singular moments (this is especially evident in ghosts and dandelions). Usually, I find inspiration from things that are beautiful and tragic at the same time. My inspiration for prose is a little bit more external facing. A lot of it comes from people that I meet/see, or things I read. A lot of it comes from analysis of dynamics, either in media or in real life. I think, again, the necessity for a narrative changes where I find inspiration. Basically, I find that most of poetry is inspired by very specific feelings and the images the evoke those feelings, whereas my inspiration for prose comes from specific stories/moments/dynamics and the feelings that those stories/moments/dynamics evoke. idk if that makes sense On 8/1/2019 at 4:34 PM, nott theodore said: 3. Do you have a favourite poetic form? I'm drawn to the contrapuntal form, because the form takes such advantage of each word in the poem to play multiple roles at once. I also really love prose poetry, for its genre-defying characteristics. I love all things that transgress boundaries, as a transgressor of boundaries myself On 8/1/2019 at 4:34 PM, nott theodore said: 4. reorienting was a beautiful piece, and I know you've said that you tend to write a lot of family and friend relationships. What was it about Padma and Parvati that drew you to their story? Do you have head canon for the sisters, and is reorienting part of that? Oh gosh, this question. This is the question that I spent a long time thinking about haha, so thank you so much for asking it! Part of it is very personally motivated. I'm a twin myself and Indian, so I think I naturally gravitated to Padma and Parvati as extensions of myself and the experiences that I know best--and that's certainly manifested in the fics I've written about them, and how my own personal story is inextricably tied to their story. But aside from that, I think that their dynamic has so much promise for nuance. They're twins, so there's an expectation of equality and sameness--but they're sorted into different Houses, and actually, Houses that are pretty fundamentally different. (I'm very resistant to the idea that Slytherins are the opposite of Gryffindors; I feel like Ravenclaws are much more the opposite of Gryffindors, but uh, that's a thesis for another post ). So just that distinction immediately sparked my interest in them, and that manifested in their personality traits. Parvati is reckless and free, brave and bold. She's also a little flighty and gives into her wanderlust and her inner-most desires too easily. Padma, however, is much controlled and rational, pragmatic and responsible. But she overthinks everything and she's prone to moments of righteous indignation. reorienting is the start of a (admittedly unexpected) series following Padma and Parvati. As you could probably tell from the descriptions of their personalities and philosophies, there's lots of opportunities for them to grow with one another and for conflict to grow between them. One of my biggest goals with their series is to explore the conflicts that arise between them. I feel like JKR and really, a lot of fic writers erase the conflict between them because they're twins--like they're supposed to naturally get along well? I immediately challenge that to say that because they're twins, they won't get along well at all. There's a constant tension between them. reorienting lays the seeds for their bond. I wanted to highlight the enduring love between them that survived war and betrayal and grief, as well as the start of a growing tension--distrust, jealousy, that grows in the next part of the series untranslatable. I'm not sure exactly where this'll lead yet. There's a lot to work with, though, because Parvati went on some adventures in the year that she and Padma were apart after the war and she has done some things that she hasn't yet told Padma--especially in trying to find Lavender, her girlfriend (who I headcanon as having fled into hiding and found her way into a werewolf society)--which is problematic, because Padma is an Auror. So the setting of their series in a period where the Wizarding World is also healing is almost definitely going to impact how their relationship heal too. So far, I've really loved writing about them. I love digging into a familial relationship that is just so messy, where they both hurt each other and yet they both need each other and love each other. and idk, I always think of my sister when I write their stories, so maybe (definitely) some of my attachment is because of her haha. For right now, though, I'm concentrating on just getting my readers to be as attached to them as I am, so that when the messiness grows in further installments of their story, everyone is appropriately heartbroken Okay, I've rambled about these wayyyy too much haha. On 8/1/2019 at 4:34 PM, nott theodore said: 5. So, Guerilla Librarians. Saving the books! There's obviously a lot of examples of this in history, but are there any specific instances which are inspiring the story? I think you will especially appreciate my answer to this question! The idea of guerrilla librarians came from an episode of 99% Invisible (Weeding is Fundamental) which focused around the Earthquake of 1989 in San Francisco, and how the library was destroyed and the librarians had to "weed"/essentially, purge books. My book-lover heart was so hurt by that--the same way that I always feel this sense of tragic loss thinking of the Library of Alexandria. (I'm really showing my Ravenclawness haha). Quickly, from there, I started to think about people hiding books during the Nazi book burnings, which then lead me to the concept for the guerrilla librarians. I will say that ultimately the fic is less about the act of saving books, and more about small acts of heroism (though it is a lot about the books ). On 8/1/2019 at 4:34 PM, nott theodore said: 6. Do you have a favourite character so far from writing Guerilla Librarians? Have any of them surprised you so far while you're writing? Ahhhh, am I allowed to say all of them??? Because I really do love all of them haha I think the character I love the most so far is Lily. She's a bit of spitfire and definitely incredibly reckless, but she has this spirit of resistance that I love, and I love digging into her softer side. Almost of the characters have surprised me so far while I've been writing! They've all taken on lives of their own haha, which is really wonderful to watch. One thing that I've loved is how their individual sorrows and joys have sort of just emerged. I think that kind of natural emergence has really richened their dynamics so much, especially because this fic is ultimately about the joy to be gained from joining sorrows. On 8/1/2019 at 4:34 PM, nott theodore said: 7. Can you describe Sally-Anne Perks in three words? Mastermind. Lightning. Lonely. (It took me so long to choose these words omg). On 8/1/2019 at 4:34 PM, nott theodore said: 8. What are you most excited about in writing this story? The banter is really fun hehe There's also a few really powerful bonding moments between the librarians that I love. They fill my heart. My absolute favorite part of this fic is the little family that emerges from it (which is no surprise, considering my evident fixation on family/friendships in fics). Okay, I've rambled at you for far too long. If it wasn't clear from my responses, I adored your questions so much and they've really inspired me! Thank you so much for stopping by my WJ
just.a.willow.tree Posted August 10, 2019 Posted August 10, 2019 Hi Shreyaaaa! I'm here to ask you questions about untranslatable, because that was a work of art (yes, I will call it that till the day I die), and I think you deserve to be showered with extra attention, so yeah! (Eloquent beginning haha.) Before I get started, I thought your retrospective post was really interesting; I'm always curious to hear about what the author themself thinks about their own work, so your post was like an immediate must-read for me! I was really happy that you put so many positives down, because I think it's important that people recognize what they do well, and I agreed with everything on that list! You really nailed the emotions and characterizations and dialogue, especially. So onto questions now! 1. I'm so glad that Padma and Parvati seem to be inspiring you to write a series of sorts about them! Can you tell us about any other potential plunnies you have about these two, and any conflicts that might meet them? 2. You mentioned that you managed to force yourself not to edit as you wrote, which made me curious: what's your usual writing process like (from thinking up ideas to actually writing them down to editing, etc.)? Is there anything that you hope to change about your process? Is there anything you really like about your process at the moment? 3. So I've seen your story ideas spreadsheet! And the part that struck me the most was the "themes" column. Did you do any planning of this sort for untranslatable? (I can't remember if this was on the spreadsheet, eep, sorry!) Can you talk about your thoughts/process for incorporating the themes into the story? 4. Which of the two (reorienting and untranslatable) are you more proud of? (If this is a mean question, maybe you can talk more about what you're proud of for reorienting, too, since I think you haven't done a retrospective on that one?) 5. Lastly! Can you tell us which moments/elements from untranslatable were inspired by your own experiences being a twin?
sibilant Posted August 12, 2019 Author Posted August 12, 2019 @just.a.willow.tree Eva!!! On 8/9/2019 at 9:24 PM, just.a.willow.tree said: Hi Shreyaaaa! I'm here to ask you questions about untranslatable, because that was a work of art (yes, I will call it that till the day I die), and I think you deserve to be showered with extra attention, so yeah! (Eloquent beginning haha.) I'm never going to stop being like "whaaaaat" at you calling untranslatable a work of art omg I don't think anyone's ever called any of my writing "a work of art" before so I'm seriously so flattered On 8/9/2019 at 9:24 PM, just.a.willow.tree said: Before I get started, I thought your retrospective post was really interesting; I'm always curious to hear about what the author themself thinks about their own work, so your post was like an immediate must-read for me! I was really happy that you put so many positives down, because I think it's important that people recognize what they do well, and I agreed with everything on that list! You really nailed the emotions and characterizations and dialogue, especially. Ahh! I'm so pleased that the retrospective was interesting--I'm planning to post retrospectives for my other posts, since it felt really good to share my progress and thoughts! And omgggg I'm so happy that you agreed with the list I'm still a bit displeased with the dialogue but I'm glad that it doesn't seem stilted to you I think that sharing my retrospectives also provides others a chance to tell me that I'm being dumb and overly critical of myself haha, which is always good On 8/9/2019 at 9:24 PM, just.a.willow.tree said: 1. I'm so glad that Padma and Parvati seem to be inspiring you to write a series of sorts about them! Can you tell us about any other potential plunnies you have about these two, and any conflicts that might meet them? Soooo many plunnies! I love that Parvati was so into divination and I headcanon her as writing horoscopes and giving advice as the astrologer in residence for the Daily Prophet. I'm hoping to write a somewhat ridiculous fic sharing a collection of these horoscopes and advices, because really, no one should go to Parvati for advice of any kind (maybe for the epistolary challenge if my muse gets itself in order??). Interestingly, believing in astrology is a very desi thing, I've found. I also know a lot about Hindu spirituality, so that may work itself into Parvati's perspective on divination/be a sort of explanation for why she is drawn to it. This has been mentioned in both reorienting and untranslatable, but Parvati and Lavender are definitely A Thing, and I'm hoping to eventually introduce Lavender into their story. Interracial relationships and marriages and queerness are big points of conflict in desi culture, so I'm excited to dive into that, and share my own imagining of how Parvati and Padma's parents might react to Parvati's relationship with Lavender. (Also Parvati and Lavender are just so freaking cute). I'd love to write some fics focused around Parvati and Padma's early years at Hogwarts! This includes things like breaking fast together at midnight in the kitchen (with the Hogwarts House Elves), the first time Padma sneaks into the Gryffindor CR, playing aggressively competitive games of Exploding Snap, etc. There's still a lot about their story that is nebulous. But what I'm essentially going towards in starting to uncover some of the things that happened in the year that they were apart, after the war. I've teased this in reorienting and untranslatable, but one big source of conflict for them is secrecy/distrust. Padma really doesn't trust Parvati now after she essentially abandoned her for a year; their reconciliation in reorienting seems very fairytale-like, but I don't think Padma would be able to let that go so easily. And I've been purposefully vague about what Parvati was up to when she was travelling. She's the kind of person who would do anything for the person they love, with little regard for consequences, so I headcanon that she may have become involved in some really dangerous things (especially with all the tumult in werewolf society after the war). I'm really excited to dive into that because for me, an essential part of their arc is that the healing of their relationship mirrors the healing of the Wizarding World at large. Another source of conflict that I'm hoping to explore is Parvati's jealousy/resentment over her sister. So far, there's just been little slights, typical sister things--I felt that was probably most evident in untranslatable, with Padma teasing/jibing at Parvati for waking up so late, and Parvati thinking about how Padma's always so put together. This jealousy really goes back to their early years at Hogwarts, and how Padma always seems to find stability so much faster than Parvati. Ultimately, for Parvati, her jealousy emerges from a place of self-hate and a need to hold onto her sister--a need that ultimately drives her away from her sister. Basically, I could write an entire essay about jealousy and how it influences their relationship. I feel like this is something that isn't really explored in fics around twins, but it's a really important part of a twin dynamic. There's such a great capacity for love, but also an equally great capacity for hate and resentment, and Parvati and Padma certainly oscillate between the two. We're still very much in the honeymoon phase of their dynamic at the moment--they've just reconciled, they're really happy to see one another. I want to write a few more happy fics focused on strengthening their bond before the tension and conflict really starts arising. Okay, I've been hopelessly longwinded and vague in answering this question I'm honestly so ecstatic that you've been enjoying this series (which has felt ridiculously self-indulgent to me haha), and I'm hoping that all of this gets you excited to read more On 8/9/2019 at 9:24 PM, just.a.willow.tree said: 2. You mentioned that you managed to force yourself not to edit as you wrote, which made me curious: what's your usual writing process like (from thinking up ideas to actually writing them down to editing, etc.)? Is there anything that you hope to change about your process? Is there anything you really like about your process at the moment? GOD, I'm going to reveal all my bad writer habits My process is not very linear it all. It starts with thinking of the idea, and usually there's a brain-dump somewhere, and I usually come up with some sort of plan for what I'm going to write (though I don't always write that down). For some stories, I write detailed outlines and go through multiple iterations of the outline. For example, for the brightest pearl, I started writing my first draft after my brain dump, hated it, went back to the outline, got halfway through the outline, started writing a second draft, kept alternating between writing the draft and writing the outline, totally overworked the outline, took pieces from the second draft to start a third draft, and then kept making small changes to the outline, until I had a good outline that I could use to write the fourth draft. And there were mini-brain-dumps along the process for specific sections too (so, I brain-dumped a lot about the mythology of the jiaoren). So clearly, in my process, outlining and writing can be a never-ending cycle until I finally reach the end haha. As for editing while I write: that's mostly my bad habit of rewriting sentences as I write, because I'm too fussy with the language. For the brightest pearl and reorienting, I actually rewrote entire sections multiple times. Basically my process is a hot mess lol. I alternate between provisional and committal way too much. I really want to adjust my process so that I can start actually writing rather than outlining endlessly/getting stuck on the outlining phase. Especially because I discover a lot about the story and characters in the process of writing that wouldn't be apparent in outlining. I really love the way that my outlines come together though; I think a lot about every element I put into my stories. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a detail that wasn't somehow important in any of my stories, and I personally love that about my writing Quote 3. So I've seen your story ideas spreadsheet! And the part that struck me the most was the "themes" column. Did you do any planning of this sort for untranslatable? (I can't remember if this was on the spreadsheet, eep, sorry!) Can you talk about your thoughts/process for incorporating the themes into the story? Ahhh, this is such a good question! Actually, I didn't do any sort of formal planning for untranslatable! A lot of the themes came from the personal experiences that inspired the story (especially the aspect of culture). But a lot of the other themes came from things that I'd mentioned in reorienting that felt unresolved/felt like I still had much more to say about them. So that's why photographs made a reappearance, as much of this series is about re-examining/recovering/recreating your past through the stories told about the past. Photographs are obviously one medium of telling stories about your past; so are the stories others tell you (which is why Parvati and Padma's mother's stories about the past, or lack thereof, are a motif as well). I think another interesting way of telling stories about your past is through language, which certainly act as a connection to the past. That idea really informed/guided the symbolism of the spices (which become their own way of telling stories about the past). For the themes around Padma and Parvati's relationship, I drew directly from reorienting. I'm really proud of past!Shreya for leaving so many pieces that I could pick up on so easily, so I tried to do the same for future!Shreya. Gosh, I feel like that was very confusing That's just a small peek into the chaos going on in my mind. TBH, a lot of untranslatable just sort of...happened. Thinking back, I definitely was very intentional about all the details I included, but I didn't really have a conscious process for including those details. It was just what felt right (which is interestingly a feeling I've only had when writing about Padma and Parvati, and I'm sure is a consequence of their story being semi-autobiographical. I guess there is a reason you're told to write what you know haha ). Quote 4. Which of the two (reorienting and untranslatable) are you more proud of? (If this is a mean question, maybe you can talk more about what you're proud of for reorienting, too, since I think you haven't done a retrospective on that one?) Omg Eva this is such a mean question, they're both my babies and I couldn't possibly choose! I think that ultimately, I'm more proud of my writing in untranslatable. I feel like in both, there's so much raw emotion conveyed, but I felt like the metaphors and symbols I use in untranslatable just worked super well, and I'm generally really satisfied with it! I am planning on doing a full retrospective for reorienting, but I can talk a little about what I was proud of for it. I really love my description of Apparating at the beginning of the fic; it just felt like a really creative and unique way of conveying meaning, and almost immediately establishes the major thematic elements of the story. I think generally, in that piece, I did a really good job fully constructing a nuanced and whole message, if that makes sense? Like, obviously, the fic is supposed to explore the (re)discovery of a home--and it could've very easily been a one-dimensional story. But I tried to prod at the very concept of a "home", and how it can be a person and a place simultaneously, and how it can feel known and unknown (which is where Padma's family's immigrant narrative comes in), how you can love it and hate it at the same time (which is a major theme in Parvati's story). I think all the wholeness and nuance in that theme makes the fic much more universally relatable, which I'm also really proud of! And obviously, I'm extremely proud of my depiction of Parvati and Padma. I feel like I've been doing them justice and honestly, I get so emotional when I reread untranslatable or reorienting, because the love between them is just so clear. But not over-stated or cheap. I feel like I need to insult myself now because I've totally just inflated my ego haha Thank you for asking this question, though, it felt great to analyze my work and celebrate it Quote 5. Lastly! Can you tell us which moments/elements from untranslatable were inspired by your own experiences being a twin? The cooking scene was inspired by all the times that my sister and I have attempted to make lunch together and failed quite miserably haha (neither of us have bitten off a bit of a pepper as boldly as Parvati though haha ). Also the bit with the crossword is directly lifted from my sister and I solving puzzles together! We sometimes do the NYT Crossword together, and sometimes we solve logic puzzles, or nonograms. idk, we love puzzles haha. A lot of the banter was also inspired by my relationship with my sister. But ultimately, Parvati and Padma's story is their own, and I'm trying to have my experiences inform that story rather than write that story for them, if that makes sense Thank you again for these lovely, lovely questions! I really love talking about the opposite of loneliness series (which is my title for Padma and Parvati's series, idk if I've mentioned it before). These questions are super encouraging. Love you!!
sibilant Posted August 19, 2019 Author Posted August 19, 2019 behind-the-scenes 08/18 Hellooo! It's been a while since I've made a proper post in here that hasn't been answering WJ questions. Honestly, most of my writing muse has completely deserted me (which can almost certainly be blamed on anxiety about going back to college soon ). But I have been reflecting a ton of some of my past work! One of the things that I absolutely love to do with my writing is break it down and analyze it, and I wanted to share some of that analysis. I'm going to apologize beforehand for the length of this post. My breakdowns tend to get very detailed. I don't expect anyone to read the entire thing, but I do hope that at least some part of it is interesting! I've put it under a spoiler tag to prevent this post from being absurdly long. breakdown: untranslatable Spoiler I'm starting with untranslatable because it's probably one of my favorite pieces that I've written to date and one of those fics that seemed to just spill out of me. It was still very consciously crafted, though; I just wasn't super aware of that while I was writing it, if that makes sense? This is also one of the fics that is so extremely personal, and thus I fear that some readers may not connect to all the details in the fic--especially the more diasporic elements. Most of my writing doesn't really have a specific audience because I try hard to make it universally relatable. In this case, though, I think that anyone who has experienced cultural displacement in any sense will really connect to the fic. And for those who haven't had that experience...I hope this breakdown will help you see the fic in a new light (though I'm still amazed by the amount of insight!) I like to start my breakdowns by identifying the main thematic message of the fic (which is usually the first thing I think of when I begin to write anything). Not to sound totally nerdy, but I think the best way of phrasing the thematic message of untranslatable is the Law of Conservation of Mass/Energy, which states that matter/energy can not be created or lost, only reassembled or transformed. Reassembly and transformation are the main thematic elements of the story, and they're present in the two main storylines/thematic plots. The first plot is Padma and Parvati's relationship, and the second plot is their connection to their Indian culture, especially as immigrants. The two storylines felt really different and distinct to me while I was writing them, and there are definitely sections in the fic where one is more prescient than the other. However, I tried to connect them implicitly throughout the fic, which I'll elaborate more on later! I want to start with discussing how untranslatable explores Padma and Parvati's connection to their culture (because this is probably where some of the details may not have been so clear!). As an immigrant, one thing I've come to realize is that my experience is shaped profoundly by undertones of loss. I've started to grieve a life and family that I have never and will never know; the process of immigration stripped me of my connection to much of my extended family, to my connection to my language (and by consequence, my religion), and instead left only shadows and hints of what might've been that I feel I am now bound to explore forever. (I think I expressed this best in ghosts and reorienting, if you want to hear more about this specific experience! idk why you would though, because it's super depressing haha). untranslatable explores/illustrates this loss on many levels--starting with the title itself. I'd like to also drawn attention to a specific passage that connects explicitly to te title: Quote As the knives chopped and the peelers peeled, the twins turned their attention back to the spices. Her eyes swept over their names—jeera, dhaniya, saunf. They seemed so vaguely familiar, and yet opaque, like they refused to give up their secrets. They reminded her of the people she saw in her and Padma’s baby pictures—figures from another world or life that should be familiar, but eluded her. Untranslatable. Okay, you had to know that this passage was important It includes both the title and the summary. I was veeery unsubtle about the importance of this passage haha. In mathematics/physics, translation is the process of shifting an object from one location to another, which means that something that is untranslatable is something that cannot be moved. Cultural displacement often burns the bridge between you and your culture; this is why to Padma and Parvati, their family seem like vague "figures from another world or life that should be familiar, but eluded her". (Note: this is something that is also explored explicitly in reorienting, and also through photographs--which have accidentally become a motif in this series haha). I wanted to convey the sense of something feeling simultaneously faraway and close, much as India and a life in India feels so far away to Parvati and Padma (and I guess to me too, haha), so naturally (nerd!me striking again, oops) my mind gravitated towards the mathematical concept of translation. (Unrelated tangent, but I've recently discovered that I take lots of inspiration from mathematics/physics/engineering/science. I'm sure it's a consequence of being in those fields and thinking about them so often, but I find it really interesting that the ideas sort of bleed over. Definitely, the reciprocal is true; my writing brain bleeds into my engineer brain quite often. But anyways. This is a discussion for another post ). The title untranslatable relates to this idea of loss in a very concrete way as well. In the context of language, something that is untranslatable is unique to only one language and thus cannot be expressed exactly in any other language. Parvati and Padma's attempts to 'translate' the spices' names is an explicit manifestation of this idea. Parvati thinks about how she has always known the spices only by one name, the Hindi words that their mother used. The spices seemed "so vaguely familiar, and yet opaque, like they refuse to give up their secrets." The idea of culture being mysterious or opaque or hidden in some way is another motif throughout the fic. I want to draw attention to two passages that illustrate this especially well: Quote Parvati remembered all the times she’d asked her mother what the spices where. Every time, Ma would shrug and say jeera was jeera, with this surprised and exasperated expression on her face—like she couldn’t understand how Parvati didn’t just get it. So, the spices had remained the great unresolved mysteries of her childhood. Quote Parvati shrugged. She wasn’t actually all that surprised by her mother’s vagueness. She found her mother always cut out certain details when telling her stories, especially about India. Her mother wove tales of necessity, which meant some relatives mysteriously disappeared from history and the timeline of events was often fangled. Was Chunu-mamaji born before or after Nisha-chachi moved to Bangalore? Depended on if you were asking about their children, or about family members who had borrowed money from them. Her mother’s fictionalizing always made Parvati angry. She felt like her mother fiercely guarded some secrets about their lives in India, like a dragon jealously and possessively protecting the last precious remnants of its treasure. Just as the spices' true/English names remain the "great unresolved mysteries of her childhood", the true tales of her family remain a mystery to Parvati as well. The idea of my own culture and my past being a mystery to me is something that I've grappled with. I'm always so envious of people who know so much about their family history and about their culture, because my own knowledge is so sparse and put together through thorough and sneaky investigations, with very carefully crafted questions. One detail that I want to draw attention to in particular is the description of Parvati and Padma's mother's role in imposing these mysteries. A few people mentioned being able to relate to parents/elders being vague about things from the past or about recipes, but I honestly think it is extra important and magnified in immigrants. (Or at least, it has been in my experience). I've found immigrant families to be incredibly tight-lipped, which is something that baffles and frustrates me about my parents. I think it's an important detail to consider, especially when you consider the explicit connection between physical displacement from family and cultural displacement. The idea that your own family can contribute to that displacement seems so incomprehensible to me, and yet is my reality. I wanted to use this fic to try to explore the reasons for that imposed divide. I think that the immigrant context is especially important in understanding that self-imposed divide, and I tried to hint at it in the comparison of their mother to a "dragon jealously and possessively protecting the last remnants of the treasure." I think of that as a way to fight against time and space and assimilation, all these forces that every day steal a bit of our connection to our culture. When considering that, I can't blame my mother for gripping so tightly to our secrets, to protect them from all these things that are constantly being stripped away by the nature of existing in a world where you are an Other and being forced, constantly, to adapt. Parvati comes to this same realization in this passage, which is one of my favorite passages in the entire fic: Quote In the past, she might’ve hounded her mother for the exact recipe, so eager and desperate to convince her to give up those preciously guarded secrets. But now, as she glanced back at her and Padma’s baby pictures, she could understand why her mother guarded the secrets of the spices. She had protected them against the sharp edge of time, the unforgiving wrath of the oceans, and the cold chaos of war—all of which had stolen Parvati’s own connection to her past, reducing family members to strangers in pictures. She was starting to believe that perhaps their mother wanted them to fight as hard to uncover those secrets as she had to protect them. The detail that's especially important in this passage is the idea that their mother "want them to fight as hard to uncover those secrets as she had to protect them." This idea, of working and fighting to hold onto your culture is another extremely important element of the fic. Many of my fics explore and lament how fate, in all its forms, controls and limits our lives; I wanted to flip the trend in this fic, and explore how we can exercise our free will to fight these forces. This is also Parvati's entire philosophy throughout the fic: Quote So she approached decoding and uncovering this recipe much the same way she approached untangling her mother’s myths: with unwavering persistence, and a conviction in her own beliefs. Quote She noticed that her mother hadn’t bothered to provide any information about the quantities of each ingredient. But Parvati was unfazed. She’d eaten pav bhaji so many times before, surely she would be able to just tell. Besides, it was her culture. Surely there was something inherent within her that would guide her—the same inherent thing that seemed to guide her mother whenever she was cooking. Parvati's strong convinction in her culture is an extension of her overall personality. She's an incredibly active character, who doesn't really let anything stop her--not even her own better reason. (That's why she foolishly takes a bite of a chili pepper for no reason other than that she can). I think this is probably her most Gryffindor trait. At first, I thought that this conviction might be a little foolish. How could it be true, when Parvati cannot identify the spices in her mother's food, despite eating it every day, when she does not know the names for the spices? However, all it takes is one smell or taste of each spice and she knows exactly what it is. So perhaps there is an inherent connection? I don't think I really make any conclusive statements about that in untranslatable. To say that the fic claims that all people have this inherent connection to their culture that cannot be stripped away, to me, feels like erasure of the immigrant experience where our connection is actually stripped away. Instead, I wanted to reframe the narrative as rewarding such persistence and conviction--rewarding efforts made to hold onto one's culture (which is where it connects to their mother's wish for them to fight to uncover the secrets). One specific aspect of Indian culture that has always intrigued me is how fluid the recipes are. There are certain base ingredients, but everything after that can be manipulated with the main elements of the dish still being preserved. To me, this allows people to define their own culture, which is illustrated in these passages: Quote Slowly, a scent resembling pav bhaji masala filled the air. It wasn’t exactly like their mother’s, but both Parvati and Padma released a contented sigh when they smelled it. Parvati closed her eyes briefly, letting the scent fill her nose, then her heart. Another kind of warmth filled her. Also not the exact same as the warmth that filled her heart when she ate her mother’s food, but something that enveloped her and loved her regardless. Quote Or perhaps, they would never find the missing something special inherent to their mother’s cooking. Part of her mourned it and the connection that had been severed by time and space and war. But perhaps they could take what remained and reassemble it to hide the holes. Perhaps the something missing ultimately wouldn’t matter, because they could create their own recipe. There's something both sad and hopeful about these passages, and about the idea that you can't get the exact same recipe. In some sense, it's sad because their mother's recipe will always remain elusive to them (unless she told them, but uh, Indian mothers are notoriously tightlipped and vague ). But it also feels forgiving, a little--like it's okay if I don't get the right combination of spices, because the food I prepare will probably still be delicious. I view the fluidness of recipes as a way to reward the effort to hold onto culture. This idea connects very well to the thesis of the fic, the idea that pieces can be reassembled to form a whole--not the same as what it was before, but still something new and beautiful on its own. The idea of reconnection and reassembly is something I wanted to explore in Parvati and Padma's relationship. untranslatable tries to add more dimension to both characters through the change in perspective. In Parvati's eyes, we see Padma in a very different light: Quote Parvati knew better than most that she probably shouldn’t provoke her sister. Padma was a bit like an Exploding Snap card—seemingly calm until she exploded. I think the best way to describe Parvati and Padma is that Padma is the calm before the storm, and Parvati is the calm within the storm. In that way, they balance each other out incredibly well--a balance that is especially clear in their differing approaches. Parvati is reckless, Padma is cautious--and both approaches backfire in some way. Obviously, Parvati makes dumb decisions (and you'll all see the extent of her dumb decisions in future fics). Padma's cautiousness, however, holds her back from too much. One major source of conflict between them is Parvati's flightiness. This was super important to reorienting, and it returns in untranslatable in Padma's distrust of Parvati. One of my major goals with their relationship is to try to represent their relationship realistically, which is why I didn't want to state that Padma would've instanty forgiven Parvati. I mean, Parvati abandoned her for a year. And it's also not really in Padma's nature to forgive easily; that's the cautiousness at play again, manifesting into a type of cynicism and coldness. But untranslatable proposes that this relationship too can be mended with some effort, which is why they both gently push one another--and why ultimately, their relationship has grown stronger: Quote She watched her sister fondly as Padma started talking about how she didn’t actually make nearly enough as an Auror-in-training because the Ministry was dumb and took advantage of trainees—a rant that she’d heard all too many times. She was struck for a moment by how much she’d missed Padma—even with her overbearingness and repetitive rants and bossiness—and mourned the time they’d lost after the war. In some ways, the time had driven them further apart. The mending of Parvati and Padma's relationship and their attempts to recreate their own culture connect to the chapter title, transmuting. I wanted the chapter title to sort of act like a response to the story tile (which is also something I did in reorienting). If the title suggests that things are lost, then the chapter title is all about rediscovery. To transmute something is to take its pieces and reassemble it into something new. Different from what it was originally, but something spectacular in its own right. To me, transmuting speaks of growth and hope, which is why I was drawn to it as a chapter title. Okay, so that covers the whole loss/transformation aspects of the story, which covers the major thematic message of the story. I wanted to call attention to one more detail, simply because it's clever and makes me happy @grumpy cat was the first person to notice the recurrence of crosswords as connecting all the Patil family members: Padma gets distracted by the crossword, Parvati tries to solve the crossword to piss off Padma, Padma and her father do the crossword together morning, her mother writes the recipe for pav bhaji on the back of a crossword. I thought it would be something cute to connect all of them (and I wanted to express Padma's Ravenclawness just as much as I was expressing Parvati's Gryffindorness). Puzzles actually somehow became an unintentional thematic element of the story haha. Translating the spices for pav bhaji was also a puzzle, and untangling their mother's stories about their past was a puzzle in its own way too. The puzzles act as another connection to the idea of effort in holding onto culture, onto anything that's important to you, really. I always finish my breakdowns by identifying what I feel to be the most important line in the story, and with acknowledgements to people who helped me. Picking the most important line in this story is super hard, but I think the last line is probably the most important line. Protip: a good ending line should really deliver the thematic statement (though perhaps not as explicitly as I did in untranslatable, haha). Quote Perhaps all things that seemed lost could be transmuted—reassembled and recreated. As for acknowledgements, I can't finish this post without thanking @grumpy cat! Fun fact, after I finished writing the first draft, I was totally convinced that it was really boring and I didn't want to publish it haha. But Kris convinced me otherwise, and is generally just so encouraging of my writing especially when I'm being overly critical of it and I'm super grateful
sunshine_locks Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 is it weird if i say that i literally camp at your writer's journal and read the stuff you post like one would read a book with a glass of red wine in a bubble bath? (definitely weird, i'm tired, don't mind me) sorry, sorry. i'm having a bit of a hard week and your posts make genuinely make me happy because your thoughts are really interesting to read. i generally don't have much to say about them (sorry! i analyse texts after i read them), but i just wanted you to know that i enjoy them very much! (also! i am literally in university right now so i understand the anxiety. it really really sucks.)
sibilant Posted August 20, 2019 Author Posted August 20, 2019 1 hour ago, sunshine_locks said: is it weird if i say that i literally camp at your writer's journal and read the stuff you post like one would read a book with a glass of red wine in a bubble bath? (definitely weird, i'm tired, don't mind me) sorry, sorry. i'm having a bit of a hard week and your posts make genuinely make me happy because your thoughts are really interesting to read. i generally don't have much to say about them (sorry! i analyse texts after i read them), but i just wanted you to know that i enjoy them very much! (also! i am literally in university right now so i understand the anxiety. it really really sucks.) This isn’t weird at all and possibly one of the sweetest things anyone’s said to me! Strangely enough, reading a book with a glass of red wine in a bubble bath is often the mental state I’m in when I write in my WJ haha. I’m really happy you enjoy reading my posts. I feel like they’re all entirely too long and rambly and self-indulgent, but I’m pleased that others seem to enjoy my self indulgence as well haha (re: college—I’ve found that the anxiety is slowly turning into pure excitement/eagerness, I think it’s more just the concept of doing work that I’m not a fan of I hope you have a great semester!)
LadyMarauder Posted December 7, 2019 Posted December 7, 2019 Hi Shreya! I'm here with some festive(ish) questions for your wishlist! Also, your journal is really great by the way! - I always wanted to start one, but I know I'd be useless at being organised enough to make it worthwhile! Anyways, here we go... 1. I really struggle with poetry and don't think I could ever post one. Do you find writing poetry or your stories easier? Or are they the same but in different ways? 2. What's your favourite story/poem on your AP? 3. Have you got any others in the pipeline? Tell me allllll! 4. Pick one of your characters... do they have a favourite Christmas song and festive film? 5. See above question for you - what are your go to festive songs and films? Merry Christmas!!
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