theme and variations: tedromeda by BookDinosaur

[BookDinosaur]

for those of you familiar with the musical form, this is exactly what it says on the tin. for those of you unfamiliar with musical terminology, it's still exactly what it says on the tin  i am pretty sure most people who have come in contact with me have heard me wailing about tedromeda -- and my current project -- with varying levels of intensity at some point in time. it is probably no surprise to learn that i intend to keep doing this throughout november; both of my primary (HP) projects are tedromeda-related. let us examine them.

All the Waves Resounded (M)

(glorious banner by the wonderful @galadriel!)

Quote

When he kisses her, she feels as though she could crumble, but the truth of the matter is that he is not her Perseus; perhaps there is no Perseus in this telling of the story.

The First Wizarding War is raging around her, and Andromeda Black has turned traitor.

the granddaddy of my tedromeda canon! for those of you unfamiliar with the plot, it features andromeda as a spy, ted as her handler, and a lot of espionage shenanigans and slow burn. if we're still going with the music metaphor (i totally am), this is definitely the theme, which i blatantly made up from the 2 notes canon gave me. i'm fine, thank you. this fic is sitting at 62k in my doc, at 49k on the archives, and the most i can say for it is that i'm probably, hm, 2/3 of the way through? i'm pretty sure i'm over halfway! with regards to planning i am definitely, maybe, 2/3 of the way through, but whenever i write my plans out into story form they grow longer. this is fine! i'm not aiming to finish this because that would be unrealistic. this is also fine! it would be great to get through my backlog so that all of that initial 60k is up on the archives, so that's what my goal is. this will hopefully manifest in 2-3 chapters and a handful of more backlog
 

variation 5 : acceso [ignited; on fire]

you better believe i'm sticking with this extended musical metaphor ! if the theme is a spy/handler romance, this is an AU of that where andromeda was kept far more successfully under her family's control and ted has been battling through the war alone: she's not a spy, and he's been in the field. when an utterly strangled andromeda is faced with the prospect of an imminent engagement she makes her first vaguely rebellious move, wandering the streets of muggle london, and who should she meet there but ted tonks? he detests her on principle, she uses him to feel more alive; there's a lot of hate sex and very little communication (at first). [gleefully] they are SO maladjusted. i am truly having the time of my life writing emotionally stunted idiots!

this is variation 5 because it is the 5th one which occurred to me; it also seized me by the throat and demanded to be written, so that's what's happening, alas. it has added 6,5k to its name in four days and has no intention of stopping, which seems rude! i have no idea what my goal for this fic is; it grows every time i write more of it. i doubt i will be able to finish in a month, but what the heck, november's the time for bonkers goals. going to put it on the record that i want to finish this one!
 

variation 1 : con amore [with love]

not so much a variation as a simple key change, perhaps with some skipped bars: a oneshot from the POV of ted tonks, covering the events of AWR. i "haven't started" this project, by which i mean i have a couple of paragraphs in the sticky note app but the project itself doesn't have its own Word doc. my usual look is determined self-denial about the birth of new projects, but during nano every word counts and i know this project's going to get a couple more paragraphs so i'm putting it in this post. wheee
 

other stuff [discordant piano jangling]

as always, i'll have my other fandom stuff on the -- side? burner? on the other side of the burner... the other stove top? ok, that's fine. there are a couple of projects there which just need to be cleaned up and yeeted onto ao3, i have a second fandom trumps hate bidder to write for, and the perennially in-progress fic noir. lots to do! this is probably also a good place to mention that i am going to be travelling through most of november, so i REALLY don't know how this nano is going to turn out. productively, maybe? a girl can dream. anyway, i'll be back throughout the month to yell at this nest, probably -- i'm looking forward to it  

[BookDinosaur]

so, day #2 of nano and i've already run into a roadblock. several, in fact! thought i might put this novel nest to use and try and talk myself out of them. if nothing else this will be some effective procrastination. bon. warning for possible spoilers ahead? i mean, we all know how ted and andromeda go. but still

so, tedromeda variation #5 is, as said above, hate sex and bad communication between two maladjusted individuals. i'm pretty sure this leads directly to roadblock #1 -- that is, andromeda. in the fic she's treated quite frightfully by her family; i go to pains to show this; but the fact remains that she's a pretty privileged individual in the time and context that she's living in and the fact that she does nothing to help anyone is pretty reprehensible. this is not in itself a bad thing; character flaws drive conflict, and excessive passivity is a pretty decent flaw. i think i am having a tough time writing this because i find it reprehensible, and i still want to like andromeda, and i can't really, which is giving me complex feelings. alas for feelings! still, this is not necessarily so much of a story obstacle as a personal feelings obstacle, and i think these personal feelings are not so personal i won't be able to write them. so there's that (sorry for all the double negatives; this is my brain). another sub-point to this roadblock -- roadblock #1.5? -- is that i am also having a tough time writing this because andromeda is ultimately shaken out of her bubble by ted, and i don't want this to become a love conquers all thing. it's important to self-reflect on this kind of thing! your romantic partner can't be the point of your ethical compass because that's not really ethical, is it. and the literal last thing i want is for this is for it to become a long-winded novel where andromeda examines her feelings and biases and learns to shift her worldview! not that it's not a story worth telling, but -- i didn't sign up for this! i just wanted to write hateful, bitter sex! the compromise which i am currently barrelling towards is having the two of them fight, separate, and while they are separated andromeda does the requisite soul-searching to transform into a character i can actually like, and -- crucially -- runs away from home before making up with ted, fully understanding that he might not want to see her again. maybe she doesn't even seek him out? this seems like a fairly decent compromise to me, but the more i think about it the more it seems like it's going to unspool into novel length, that's a lot of interior thinking and emotions. maybe i can keep the self reflection snappy? i don't know, i can tackle that bridge when i get there but it seems the writing it out thing is already helping me, cool

roadblock #2 is, alas, the sex. i'll keep it PG for the forum, but consider this a blanket warning that i talk about sex stuff here. dynamics, not acts; still, warning. 

the gist of it is that i have accidentally ("accidentally," she says) worked in some D/s dynamic and now, almost 10k in, i'm doubting myself. very on brand for me! i have andromeda tending to the s end of the D/s scale and rethinking her ethical quandraries have made me rethink this as well. she's already living mostly under her family's control; would it be lame and boring for her to tend towards preferring a lack of control in her sexual life, as well? but then, would it be lame and boring for me to pull this element because of that? outside life doesn't necessarily have straightforward effects on sexual preference, and i've read fics that both play into this element and subvert it and there are stunning examples of each. then, another problem: i also remembered that the "finding control in lack of control" is a stereotype that's been played (badly and discordantly) to death, mostly by incompetent male authors who don't understand anything but especially not human women (not to be harsh, or anything; but i stand by it). should i turn these dynamics down in light of that? but then, to counter-argue, this is the dynamic i'm most familiar and comfortable with; i'd be utterly lost trying to write an andromeda who tends towards the D of the D/s scale. both of these arguments are unfortunately doylist, but that raises another argument about validities that i don't have time to pursue. oh, i do have another watsonian(ish?) argument, which is that the person in the s role does in fact have the power to call off any situation they want to, and so perhaps this is the element andromeda finds comfort in; of course, this is assuming that both people have negotiated this, which hasn't happened in my fic because these two are [cups hands around mouth] IDIOTS. but i'm not about to turn this into a fic about sexual assault, so while the proper negotiations have not taken place there is a mutual understanding. poking the boundaries of my brain further, there's probably a story arc here about figuring out what exactly it is that one likes about their preferences, lack of control > control? the > being a developmental arrow, there, not a greater than sign. hmm. but then, ugh, circling back around -- is THIS another harmful stereotype? it's fine to like not being in control, also! this is another thing i've read both ways; i suspect it has (or should have) more to do with character that doylist cross-examination.

of course, there is always the option of toning the whole thing down, but i don't love the idea of doing this right now, for better or for worse. i suppose there is also the option of editing it out in post, but i suspect that once the thing is written the various preferences of the characters will have baked into their identities, and it'll be hell trying to disentangle them; i will likely have to change a lot more than the sex scenes in editing the fic down, if i choose that option. hmm. writing this out has helped less, unfortunately, but i think i'm going to stick to my guns on this one; possibly i will try out the arc of self-realisation, i do think it would work for this incarnation of andromeda. actually, if i could tie that into the storyline of the fic proper and the ethical self-reflection that would be rad and cohesive and make it look like i conceived of all of this in a nice smooth shape rather than desperately throwing ink at walls and smearing it around with my hands. oh yes, ok, that seems better. my brain is firing up the old enthusiasm stove, i shall run to write while it lasts. thanks for, uh, reading? the sudden hesitation is because i don't know if anyone read this. i don't even know if i want anyone to read this but i've written it all out now and my brain would be sad to delete it and the last thing i want is a sad brain, during nano. if you read this, commas and semicolons and all, thanks! that's all

[TreacleTart]

EMILY!!! I am so excited to see All The Waves Resounded in your list of projects for NANO. To be honest, I'm totally here for any of the Tedromeda stories. Just going to sneak in a few questions and some encouragement. 

1. In your latest chapter, we see that Andromeda and Narcissa's relationship has become strained. Do you think they'll ever make up or is that the end for good?

2. Will we get to see Ted's reaction to the plant in the next chapter?

3. Do you think Dumbledore is using legilimency on the recruits/implanted Death Eaters? 

4. More fluff please. 

Also, left you some goodies Here Here  and Here

[BookDinosaur]

KAITLIN!!! gosh, your goodies absolutely made my day, thank you so much for stopping by!! i'm so glad you're enjoying the fic 

7 hours ago, TreacleTart said:

1. In your latest chapter, we see that Andromeda and Narcissa's relationship has become strained. Do you think they'll ever make up or is that the end for good?

2. Will we get to see Ted's reaction to the plant in the next chapter?

3. Do you think Dumbledore is using legilimency on the recruits/implanted Death Eaters? 

4. More fluff please. 

1. ugh, i hope so! my impression from HP canon was that they hadn't made up by the time the stories take place, but the post-second-wizarding-war period feels very malleable to me (or maybe this is just my hopeful thoughts, but still!). anything could happen, maybe!

2. yes!!! XD

3. oh, absolutely. i'm firmly set up in the machiavellian dumbledore camp, and i love to explore that through different views of him and experiences of his treatment of others.

4. haha, no promises

[grumpy cat]

11 minutes ago, BookDinosaur said:

1. ugh, i hope so! my impression from HP canon was that they hadn't made up by the time the stories take place, but the post-second-wizarding-war period feels very malleable to me (or maybe this is just my hopeful thoughts, but still!). anything could happen, maybe!

i like to lurk in people's novel nests and even though i still need to read all the waves resounded (it's been rec'd to me a number of times and it's on my to-read list ) i'm a firm believer that after the war their relationship gets better. andromeda loses her entire family except teddy, narcissa straight up lies to voldy for the sake of her family, and i definitely see them reconciling. (at least it's how i write them) 

[BookDinosaur]

weekley update time babey! let's look

breaks down to -

• 4,5k on AWR, 600 removed
• 2,2k on hate sex, 300 removed
• 2,2k of beat sheeting and plans for new projects
• 1k on other fandom vic vamps, 500 removed

so my adding/removing word rate is ok except on that one other fandom project where the rate of deletion is like a full third of everything i write  this is fine, this is fine. anyway, i'm averaging about 1,4k per day it seems and am slightly behind the optimal nano rate, this is also fine. i cracked 10k, which was cool! and my last exam was on the 7th and now it is done so i have a small and brief window of time after the exam period and before i go travelling! gotta make the most of this  

[victoria_anne]

Hi there! I absolutely love Tedromeda so I thought I'd creep in here and see what you're working on! Your stories sound really great and I love that you have a spreadsheet going. Good luck with the rest of the month!  

[BookDinosaur]

5 hours ago, victoria_anne said:

Hi there! I absolutely love Tedromeda so I thought I'd creep in here and see what you're working on! Your stories sound really great and I love that you have a spreadsheet going. Good luck with the rest of the month!  

Thank you!!! It's always good to meet fellow shippers, especially (in my biased opinion) of this pair

[800 words of heaven]

On 10/31/2019 at 7:36 PM, BookDinosaur said:

[discordant piano jangling]

This basically describes how I'm feeling about NaNo as a whole  What on earth have we signed up to?

I'm dropping in to admire your spreadsheet. It's excellent. I approve. Also, thank you for increasing the amount of Tedromeda content in our lives. I didn't know I needed a spy romance featuring Tedromeda until I learnt that All the Waves Resounded exists.

[BookDinosaur]

On 11/11/2019 at 8:20 PM, 800 words of heaven said:

I'm dropping in to admire your spreadsheet. It's excellent. I approve. Also, thank you for increasing the amount of Tedromeda content in our lives. I didn't know I needed a spy romance featuring Tedromeda until I learnt that All the Waves Resounded exists.

thank you!! it's not my spreadsheet, so i can't take credit, but i do love and adore it, and use it religiously. and thank you again!! i love this ridiculous ship, always down to drag people into the sea with me XD

[Guest Noelle Zingarella]

On 11/11/2019 at 7:20 PM, 800 words of heaven said:

I'm dropping in to admire your spreadsheet. It's excellent. I approve. Also, thank you for increasing the amount of Tedromeda content in our lives. I didn't know I needed a spy romance featuring Tedromeda until I learnt that All the Waves Resounded exists.

If I may be so bold, I'd like to say that I love the spy noir Tedromeda so much that this is my new headcanon. Like, I don't know how Tedromeda could be any other way except this (at least, until I read another one of Emily's variations on this theme).

[BookDinosaur]

On 11/15/2019 at 12:25 AM, Noelle Zingarella said:

If I may be so bold, I'd like to say that I love the spy noir Tedromeda so much that this is my new headcanon. Like, I don't know how Tedromeda could be any other way except this (at least, until I read another one of Emily's variations on this theme).

Noelle!!!!! You're far too kind  Thank you!!

[BookDinosaur]

so... i did Not update this throughout the month as i would have liked to  but i'm cutting myself some slack here because i have been travelling and it's been Hectic. still, i managed to get some good words in! let us See --

that gives me -

• 37k for the month
  • almost 10k on AWR
  • 22k on hate sex aka Clash by Night (aka CBN? CN?)
  • a paltry almost 2k on the poor victorian vampires
• i wrote some words every day (except the 30th. i stand by my choice)
  • even if one of those days was a SINGLE DIGIT WORD DAY
  • IT'S FINE
  • i mostly just can't believe i recorded that i wrote 9 words. damn it, me, is there no such thing as taking integrity too far
• an average of 1,2k words per day
• a deletion rate of about 10.8%
  • if my maths is correct
  • which it may not be at all
• a total of 8 chapters posted
  • 1 for AWR
  • 7 for Clash by Night (two of which have made it through the queue at time of writing)
• AWR cracked 70k, dear god
• i cracked 300k words for the year! dear god

so it's pretty obvious what's been gripping me this month, huh. the first half of the month i wound up posting the next chapter of AWR (the underlined cells mean postage) and i even managed to get some words in on the next chapter before the hate sex project came along and absolutely obliterated me. 4k days! two 4k days in a row! i don't know what i was on, that's not the norm for me at all. the 400-word day was an editing day, so a lot of invisible work went into the project as a whole -- and today i made myself take a Break  i don't even know if i could write -- the fic hangover feeling is real. i just woke up from being sucker punched. i'm convalescing, nano, leave me alone

i'm a little salty that i didn't make it to the nice round 40k, but i was also not about to rise from my convalescence to get there, so  i'm very pleased i managed to finish Clash by Night, even if it took being absolutely roundhoused in the brain to do it! someone should prod me into making a writer's journal post about that fic, because i have a lot of things to say about it that i had to refrain from saying here.

anyway, i would call it a successful month! i would say that i'm looking forward to not doing it again until april -- but let's be real, i'm definitely going to be trying to get these amounts of words next month, too. hope all of you reading this had similarly successful months and achieved your goals!!