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Felpata_Lupin's reviews


Felpata_Lupin

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@BookDinosaur  I've left two more reviews, and I'm loving the story more and more (I might be falling in love with Ted Tonks just a tiny bit... ) Hopefully I'll manage to come back for more soon!!!

@RonsGirlFriday  your reviews are done! A joy as always! @BookDinosaur and @juls I'll have yours asap!

@beyond the rain @starbuck @Sleepingbagonthesofa Hey, there, my loves!   Just wanted to let you all know that I haven't forgotten you... I really wanted to complete all these requests this weeken

something wicked

Heeey Chiara! I'm back with Yaxley if that's alright? ?

Story and Author Name, including link: Yaxley (M)

Warnings and Advisories: Consent Issues (Mild/Moderate), Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence

Genre: Romance, Drama, Dark/Horror, Angst

Length: Novel (35,000 words so far) 

Summary: Cassiel Yaxley starts her Seventh Year at Hogwarts attacked from both sides. Her sympathies lie with one, her family are on the other.

Haunted by dark marks and hunted by people she once called friends, there's only one thing she's sure of: Sirius Black should be avoided at all costs. 

Ships: Sirius/OC

Areas of Concern: Characters, plots ect. I would love your thoughts on how the story is progressing ?

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Felpata_Lupin

Yay, Deni! Of course it's alright, dear! :wub: It'll probably have to wait the weekend, but I'd love to read more of Yaxley! Thank you for requesting! :hug:

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  • 2 weeks later...
Felpata_Lupin

@Sleepingbagonthesofa  finally done with your request. Sorry it took me so absurdly long... :couch: I've enjoyed reading on so very much! :wub:

Just as a fyi, I will probably not review for requests until the end of the year. I'm behind with (read: I have yet to start) the judging of the entries to the Unreliable Narrator Challenge and I would like to focus on the wishlists as well... You can still request, if you want. Just know that it will take a while for me to get back to you.

Taking the chance to wish everyone a very happy holiday season! :freeze: :grouphug:

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  • 2 weeks later...
Shadowkat678

?

[b]Story and Author Name, including RATED link[/b]: Founders Four: Pillars of the Ages (M) by shadowkat678

Advisories: Violence

Genre[/b]: Adventure/action, Angst, Drama, General

Length: 2915 words

Summary: History speaks to us of four friends, a school they together founded, and a division that still echoes through the stone halls of Hogwarts today. Yet, that great castle was never truly the beginning, and most certainly wasn't the end. Maybe, it's time to find out what the history books didn't tell you.


Ships: Eventually Salazar/Helga, but nothing yet.


Areas of Concern: I'm starting this back up and I'm trying to revise and add to the existing chapters while writing the next ones. I remember when I first posted this three years ago a few people mentioned they had trouble separating the characters, and there were also lots of suggested edits. I want to make sure I have all of that fixed up. Also, just any general constructive criticism you could think of.
 

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  • 2 weeks later...
beyond the rain

Story and Author Name, including link: That's All(M) by beyond the rain

Warnings and Advisories:  Consent Issues (Mild/Moderate), Derogatory Language, Sexual Content, Spoilers, Violence

Genre: Angst, AU, Drama, Fluff, Romance 

Length: Novel, 13 chapters - current word count 74k+ 

Summary: A witch hides from the society that shunned her for being a muggleborn...and a slytherin. That is until two broken men, fighting on opposite sides of a war, give her no option but to return to the wizarding world. Magic hasn't managed to convince Clara that she belongs, but friends are more persuasive than any spell could be.

Ships: Remus/OC

Areas of Concern: Would it be possible for you to review the last two chapters? There's no rush, but I love hearing your thoughts and getting feedback from you Chiara! 

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  • 4 weeks later...
galadriel

Story and Author Name, including link: Out of the Shadows (M) by Theia

Warnings and Advisories: Consent Issues (Severe), Derogatory Language, Hate Speech, Self-Harm, Violence

Genre: Angst, Action/Adventure, Hurt/Comfort

Length: 2 chapters at present - 6620 words in total

Summary

The Ministry has fallen. Families are destroyed. Students are on the run.

In the midst of Voldemort's reign of terror, Ginny Weasley returns to Hogwarts.

Areas of Concern:

would you be willing to read through both the posted chapters? there's no rush but i'd love to know your thoughts on the characterisations, plot, and anything else that might stand out to you about the writing so far. :wub: 

thanks in advance, i really appreciate it! ^_^ 

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down-in-flames

hi chiara! i'd love to nab a spot with a fluffy lil jily if that's alright :wub: 
 

Story and Author Name, including link: A Miscommunication of Massive Proportions by ShadowRose

Warnings and Advisories: none

Genre: romance, fluff, humour

Length: 2133 words

Summary: 

Quote

“Will you go out with me?”

And despite how many potential scenarios James had created in his own head about how this moment could possibly go, he most certainly hadn’t prepared for this one.

 

Ships: james/lily

Areas of Concern: whatever strikes your fancy!

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ReillyJade

Hi, Chiara!  :waving:  Would love to hear your thoughts on this! 

Author Name: ReillyJade
Story Title and link: June Bug (M)
Warnings and Advisories: Derogatory language, Sexual Content, Consent Issues (mild), Substance Abuse
Genre: Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Length: 8027 (one-shot)
Ships: no main pairings, but Teddy/Victoire and Bill/Fleur make appearances
Summary: As far as Louis Weasley is concerned, life couldn't be better. He has his family, a decent job, and Tessa, his not-quite-girlfriend. In a few months, he'll have enough money saved to buy a place of his own. His life is right where he wants it to be. But life, as it so often does, has other plans.
Areas of Concern: I'm mainly concerned about flow/pacing. It's on the lengthier side for a one-shot, so I worry it drags in places. Other than that, any things you notice and would like to comment on would be wonderful! Thanks, love! ?

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Hi Chiara, I'd love it if you could drop a review for my story!

Story & Author Name/Rated Link: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Bsk

https://hpfanfictalk.com/archive/viewuser.php?uid=1566 
Warnings/Advisories: Derogatory Language, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence
Genre: Romance, Humor
Length: 27163 words, 4 chapters so far and one more is in the queue
Main Characters: Zara Patil-Preece, James Sirius Potter
Ships: James II Potter, OC
Summary: She's blunt, cynical, and alluring. He's cocky, bold and far too handsome for his own good. But maybe a little darkness was needed to see the stars.
Areas of Concern: Content & characterization! I just hope its flowing nicely, doesn't seem too cliche. I'm always nervous that characters may seem one dimensional if that makes sense. I was really nervous to put my story out there so I really want some feedback. Thanks!

 

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Shadowkat678

Story and Author Name, including link: The Book Girl, by shadowkat678 

Warnings and Advisories: T and none.

Genre  Fairy Tale/Fable, General

Length: 797 words

Summary: "This is the story of a girl named Emily. Perhaps you've heard of her, and then again maybe you haven't. If you hadn't met her, allow me to introduce you to the one many know simply as, "The Book Girl"."

Ships: NA

Areas of Concern: It's been a good few years since I wrote this and I'm thinking about re editing this again, so any grammar or spelling mistakes would be good to look at. This was made to be more of a fairytale feel to it. In fact, it was written specifically for an assignment having to do with writing in the style,  so it'd be good to see how I did on that.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Alwynse

Hey Chiara! I have a new one-shot and I'm dying for feedback.

Story: How Can I Not (T) by javu/Alwynse +link

Warnings/Advisories: Rated Teen, Mild Consent Issues. There is some sexual harassment and there's mention of a boy pulling down a girl's skirt.

Genre: Action/Adventure, AU, Dark/Horror, Drama, Fluff, General, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance

Length: 9616 words 

Ships: Lily/James

Summary: Take what we know about Lily and James in the books, make everyone non-magical and American, and stick them in a Six Flags Amusement Park with lots of peanuts and clowns, and read what happens. 

Areas of Concern: Just in general. But more specifically, I'm growing as a writer with humor and fluff and just fun stuff, so I would love your opinion on what you think is funny, what you enjoyed, what made you smile. I'm really open to critique, so like if you want to point out specific areas where you thought was funny or you thought/could tell I was trying for a fun/funny scene, and it just wasn't, I would like to know so I could write better in the future. 

Thank you with lots of love ❤️❤️❤️ 

 

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abhorsen.

Story & Author Name/Rated Link: Shenanigans, Capers, and Hi-Jinks by Beeezie
Warnings/Advisories: M (Derogatory Language, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance
Length: Total story is 38,365 words so far
Main Characters: Fred Weasley  II, Victoire Weasley, Teddy Lupin, OCs, Anthony Goldstein
Ships: Fred II/OC, Teddy/Victoire
Story Summary: Meeting banshees in the Forbidden Forest, setting the Great Hall on fire, and smuggling in contraband: Victoire and Fred Weasley are trouble with a capital T.
Areas of Concern: I'm coming back to the story after awhile away, and I'd really love thoughts on characterization/pacing in particular. It's fairly light-hearted, so I hope it works for you. ❤️ Thank you!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Pen2Paper

Hi Chiara! Can I re-request for Chapter 6?!

Story Name, Author, and Rated Link: Heaven Can Wait (M) by Pen2Paper

Warnings and Advisories: Hate Speech, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence

Genre:  Drama, General, Romance

Ships:  James/Lily

Length:  9 Chapters so far, Novel (Chapter  6)

Summary:   An imagining of James and Lily's lives as they move forward from "Snape's Worst Memory" and the events that followed that led them to fall for each other. 

Areas of Concern:

The usual. Not sure if you remember where we left off in Chapter 5 the welcoming, where they all return to Hogwarts and the Marauders have planned an exciting welcome back of their own... Anyway, I'd love your thoughts on plot and character development, is it interesting to keep reading? If not how can I improve it.. etc etc. Also I'm worried about the pace of the story so if you can throw in your two cents I'll be grateful! 

Thanks a million! xx

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Bunbury

Hi Chiara! I'm Jane, nice to meet you :) Here to request a review for my WIP: 

Story Name, Author, and Rated Link: Inheritance (M) by Bunbury

Warnings and Advisories: Derogatory Language, Domestic Abuse, Hate Speech, Violence 

Genre:  Mystery, Horror, Drama, Romance, Humour

Ships:  OC/Snape

Length: 2 chapters so far 

Summary:   

Quote

Phaedra Morley leads a quiet, private life, working at a Diagon Alley apothecary and looking after her infirm mother. But Phaedra has a secret, and now she must retrace her father's footsteps through the Dark Arts and find out what he was working on when he disappeared in the wake of Voldemort's fall. Along the way she enlists the help of a feckless bookseller and -- much to his displeasure -- Severus Snape. 

A story of death, madness, haunted houses, true friends, and Cockroach Clusters

Areas of Concern: General thoughts on characters and plot would be helpful! 

Thanks!

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abhorsen.

Would it be too much trouble for me to rerequest? :hug:

 

Story & Author Name/Rated Link: Shenanigans, Capers, and Hi-Jinks by Beeezie
Warnings/Advisories: M (Derogatory Language, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance
Length: Total story is 38,365 words so far
Main Characters: Fred Weasley  II, Victoire Weasley, Teddy Lupin, OCs, Anthony Goldstein
Ships: Fred II/OC, Teddy/Victoire
Story Summary: Meeting banshees in the Forbidden Forest, setting the Great Hall on fire, and smuggling in contraband: Victoire and Fred Weasley are trouble with a capital T.
Areas of Concern: I'm coming back to the story after awhile away, and I'd really love thoughts on characterization/pacing in particular. ❤️ Thank you!

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Guest Tanda
On 7/16/2016 at 4:14 PM, Felpata_Lupin said:

For multichaps I will do 2 or 3 chapters at a time and I will always start from the beginning/the last chapter I've read (unless it's a one-shot collection and you guarantee me that I can read the chapter indepentently)

Author Name: Tanda (StarFeather)

 

Story Title and link: Your Warmth (M) chapter 1 & 2

 

Warnings and Advisories: Spoilers, Violence, Substance Abuse

 

Genre: Action / Adventure, Romance, AU, Angst

 

Length: 3755 words, WIP

 

Summary:

Suddenly, the entrance wooden door banged open and three men stormed into the pub in a hurry with some powdery snows brought by a draft. Hermione found a familiar red head and cried,

 

“Ron!” And she soon recognized who was dragged in. His jet-black hair clung to temple and he didn’t wear his spectacles.

Harry's amnesia will cause chaos among popular HP star characters.

 

Ships: Hermione / Harry  (Ginny / Harry the previous ship)

 

Areas of Concern: I wrote chapter 2 after a long time. I am not sure if I did it right for the next chapter not making any plot holes. So your honest feedback will be appreciated.

 

You have already three stories to review. I'm not in haste. Please don't feel pressure for this, Chiara.

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  • 2 weeks later...
abhorsen.

Back to bother you. :P❤️❤️

 

Story & Author Name/Rated Link: Shenanigans, Capers, and Hi-Jinks by Beeezie
Warnings/Advisories: M (Derogatory Language, Sexual Content, Substance Abuse, Violence)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance
Length: Total story is 38,365 words so far
Main Characters: Fred Weasley  II, Victoire Weasley, Teddy Lupin, OCs, Anthony Goldstein
Ships: Fred II/OC, Teddy/Victoire
Story Summary: Meeting banshees in the Forbidden Forest, setting the Great Hall on fire, and smuggling in contraband: Victoire and Fred Weasley are trouble with a capital T.
Areas of Concern: I'm coming back to the story after awhile away, and I'd really love thoughts on characterization/pacing in particular. ❤️ Thank you!

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