Dear...

[Ineke]

Dear…

Are your characters just not cooperating today? Do you need to yell at your muse for not being there when you need them the most?  Is Pinterest just so distracting and you need to force yourself to focus?

Write a letter to that character/muse/yourself below and let them know how you feel!

 

[Guest Tanda]

Dear Professor Longbottom,

I saw the advertisement on the Daily Prophet:

Longbottom's Bath Salts provide many therapeutic benefits. These bath salts can be customized to fit to any of your preferences. They will ease your tired muscles since Atlantic Sea Salt has been used as a remedy for hundreds of years. You can enjoy a variety of magical herbal flowers which are all grown carefully by the talented students in the greenhouse at Hogwarts Castle. The essential oils are naturally made so they can help you relax after a long day with your stressful job. Longbottom's Bath Salts will promise you a perfect day. Owl to Professor Longbottom in the office of Hogwarts.

 

Send me a trial product, please. My shoulders hurt. Dull paper work...

 

Head Auror, 

Harry Potter

[Darling_take_off_the_mask]

Dear Arthur and Percy,

I would really like to write your awesome reconciliation and redemption chapter, but in order for that to happen you guys need to, you know, fight. So do it.

Just pound a beer or six and just fucking do it. I'm on a schedule.

--RGF

PS -- You both are stubborn asshats.

PPS -- I love you.

PPPS -- ^^ Percy. While we're here. Learn how to say that. To Audrey. I'm so tired of your shit.

 

 

[ImaRavenclaw]

Not even in Nano this month but my characters are giving me a hard time.

 

Dear Iris,

I really appreciate that you like to hear your own voice and that your life story is important, but honestly we don't really care about you. The whole fricken drama of this story is Oliver's past which he's kept so secret. I know that you don't know why he's so private yet, but trust me, it's worth shutting up and letting him take the stage a little. If you could also make it easier to make him an equal character then that'd be great! You know how much I'm struggling with revealing things at the right time and your constant monologue of thoughts on his pretty inscrutable face and Reece Wellward is impossible. You know, the summary of the story doesn't even fit anymore! It's not an exposé on Oliver; it's you writing the exposé on him. Which was kind of the point but y'know. Can you please just leave him a little room on the bench because you don't get to see how anxious and miserable he is just yet! Okay? Okay go away now.

Wait no, could you please either do interesting things with your time or make time go by faster in a coherent way that makes sense to the reader?

Thanks,

Lily

 

Dear Harry, 

Your inability to flirt with the attractive B&B owner is costing me an excellent one-shot with major witty Draco jabs. Could you please hurry it up with Oliver a little bit? Thank you. 

Lily

[beyond the rain]

Dear Hagrid, 

I'm really sorry for writing with Joe Exotic in mind. Since watching Tiger King you've bought Nifflers, Porlocks, and I even considered a thestral or two. I promise I won't let you grow a mullet, or get any piercings. Unless of course you want to. 

 

Dear Snape, 

I'm not going to compromise your character in the slightest, but could you try a bit harder with Lennie please. I'm running out of one word answers to say that aren't "hardly" or "obviously". I'm not asking for you to start cuddling or showing extreme signs of affection...but taking more house points than you would a normal student isn't what I had in mind. 

[Guest Noelle Zingarella]

7 hours ago, beyond the rain said:

I'm not going to compromise your character in the slightest, but could you try a bit harder with Lennie please. I'm running out of one word answers to say that aren't "hardly" or "obviously". I'm not asking for you to start cuddling or showing extreme signs of affection...but taking more house points than you would a normal student isn't what I had in mind. 

Having taught my own child in a class of other children, I'd like to confirm the tendency to be way harder on your own child than on other peoples'.

Also these letters are hilarious! I feel like we need a Snape word bank for snarky one-word answers.