aurevoir Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 Sweetest Downfall Pairing: a Draco/Hermione that has entirely gotten out of hand and was supposed to be a one shot for Lo's swoon challenge .... (it's the only graphic I've made for it so far...) Summary: Psy·cho·so·mat·ic | /ˌsīkōsəˈmadik/ | adjective | of a physical illness or other condition caused or aggravated by a mental factor, such as internal conflict or stress. Or by severe post traumatic stress disorder from a war against a mad-man. Hermione thought everything would be simple after the death of Voldemort - she and Ron, Ginny and Harry - they would all get the happy ever after that they all deserved, with little stress in life. Her brain has other ideas, causing her to constantly relive her night of torture anytime anyone touches her, or at least almost everyone. How are you supposed to handle a world where you can't touch the first love of your life or friends and move on past the psychological trauma of the past? What's going on, Cassie? Right, so I was supposed to just write a semi-chill one shot for Lo's swoon challenge and I just happened to be listening to Samson by Regina Spektor and this entire story idea came to mind and I was like oh, that's fine. Except it's not. Because now I'm posting a short-story version (to be called "beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth" that is already 14,000 words and only 57% of the way done) and then I'm also expanding it out into a full story because there's a lot about this story I want to explore and I also already have tracked down an alpha and beta for the story. I have a tendency in a lot of my stories to explore the consequences of the war from a psychological perspective (a lot of my older stories on HPFF specifically deal with PTSD and other issues), and one reason I really want to expand out this story is I want to explore Hermione's trauma further - and develop the scenes more that cause her to withdraw from her friends - but I also really want to explore Draco's own trauma as a result of the war, especially in the context of dealing with Hermione (b/c the very first scene ties him into this which takes place immediately after the war and then the story picks up 2.5 years later). The goals: Shooting for an average of 1,000 words a day (so 31k for the month of July). Theoretically, all of the scenes I'm using in beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth will be in the expanded version, but a lot of the scenes will be adjusted - i.e., I have written a few flashback scenes within scenes because I need to convey what happened previously, but I was trying to limit how many words I wrote in the short story. So I'll be able to expand out those flash back scenes to be more wholesome and cover things more as well as focus on character development a bit more in the long format. I have in mind what the final scene would be for the full story (with an epilogue of sorts), so I'd like to tie out half of the scenes from the short story into the full version before I start posting just to give myself and my beta/alpha time to review and think things through.
lostinthelightss Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 YASSSS I AM SO EXCITED FOR beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth AND ALSO THIS, EMBRACE THE CHAOS WOOOOO!!!!
aurevoir Posted June 24, 2020 Author Posted June 24, 2020 14 minutes ago, maraudertimes said: YASSSS I AM SO EXCITED FOR beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth AND ALSO THIS, EMBRACE THE CHAOS WOOOOO!!!! You are my sweetest downfall for posting that challenge. Hoho, see what I did there I just think I’m so funny when it’s after midnight
shadowycorner Posted June 24, 2020 Posted June 24, 2020 I love that Regina song and the title beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth is just...amazing. My heart weeps at the sinking of Ron/Hermione but I will be following this and cheering on! I'm really interested in how you explore the post-war psychology issues and the concepts mentioned above. From what I've seen, you have a very good handle on it. Is there a possibility of writing a happy ending?
aurevoir Posted June 25, 2020 Author Posted June 25, 2020 6 hours ago, shadowycorner said: I love that Regina song and the title beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth is just...amazing. My heart weeps at the sinking of Ron/Hermione but I will be following this and cheering on! I'm really interested in how you explore the post-war psychology issues and the concepts mentioned above. From what I've seen, you have a very good handle on it. Is there a possibility of writing a happy ending? Depends how we look at happy endings? It's a happy ending in the sense of Draco/Hermione stays end game, but I think there's a lot of things in this one that are just not necessarily resolved because of some of the themes I'm going to play with. It's got a bit of a bittersweet vibe (given ... assuming the characters don't take over because it's already gone slightly more romance than I was even expecting it).
nott theodore Posted June 26, 2020 Posted June 26, 2020 Hello! Ah I love the title of this story already (there's just something so lyrical about it?) and I'm here with a few more questions for encouragement! 1. What are you most excited about for this project? 2. You said that a Regina Spektor song inspired this - what's your usual writing soundtrack? 3. How do you see Draco's and Hermione's trauma playing against each other? 4. Do you have any head canon for pyschological treatments in the wizarding world? Do you think that they'd develop more after the war? 5. How much of a role do you see Hermione's parents playing in this story? And perhaps having an impact on her trauma? 6. How important do you think that two and a half years after the war is going to be for Draco and Hermione's story progressing? 7. What's one thing you can't Camp NaNo without?
shadowycorner Posted June 26, 2020 Posted June 26, 2020 Hi again, Cassie, here for some questions 1. what makes Hermione withdraw from her friends instead of going to them for comfort? 2. Is Harry going to have a big role in the story? 3. What are, in your opinion, the biggest challenges when writing about PTSD? 4. Is Hermione going to be dealing with professional, career-related issues in this story as well, or will it be focused solely on the psychological aspect? 5. Does it often happen to you that a sweet little idea spirals out of control into a longer project? 6. Will Draco veering toward Hermione be only a result of the trauma or do you headcanon him having feelings for her or being interested in her before the war (a lot of people claim or think there are hints throughout the books that he actually secretly pined for her a bit)? Also, about your last comment to my reply...characters taking over and making it way more romance-y than you planned...I can TOTALLY relate
mydearfoxy Posted June 27, 2020 Posted June 27, 2020 I cannot stay long bcs really I'm supposed to be modding and not posting but Cassie, oh my god, Samson is one of my VERY FAVORITE SONGS OF ALL TIME. (Also: "How". And also also: "Us". Anyways.) I was speed reading this for modding purposes and I saw the lyrics and pretty much had a fangirl explosion of excitement! I will try to come back when I have time to actually think about the story, sorry
aurevoir Posted June 27, 2020 Author Posted June 27, 2020 12 hours ago, nott theodore said: Hello! Ah I love the title of this story already (there's just something so lyrical about it?) and I'm here with a few more questions for encouragement! everything is music based, both this one and the spin off have songs with words stolen from Samson, lol. 12 hours ago, nott theodore said: 1. What are you most excited about for this project? Oh man. This story is a bit different for me. I absolutely have a tendency to just write angst and don't get me wrong, this still has angst, but its bittersweet and got a bit of a romance line that I'm not entirely sure where it came from to the extent it's turning into. I also haven't written a story that was solely focused on PTSD in a while - Splintered was more emotional grief dealing, you were good to me touched on it, but it was more focused on the demise of a relationship because of it and less focused on just how a person lives with it day to day and can grow past it. I wrote a story years ago from Draco's POV on dealing with PTSD but I honestly don't like the story much in retrospect, but I think that's part of growing up and going through more in life. 12 hours ago, nott theodore said: 2. You said that a Regina Spektor song inspired this - what's your usual writing soundtrack? MAN. So it kind of varies. I have this "mood" playlist I listen to a lot and recently, it's been me listening to songs in that sound track that get me going on story ideas. I'm also just obsessed with music. You can almost guarantee I always have it going unless I'm watching TV. I jump from the mood playlist, from Top Hits, but then sometimes I'm sitting at my desk and listening to Tyga or NF blasting loudly in my headphones while working. Which, I actually .... was listening to the song The Search by NF and have an entire one-shot that is a spin off of this world in my head (it'll take place in the 2.5 years between the end of the battle and this story picking up from Draco's POV). I've actually made a playlist for this story that kind of encompasses it - which can be accessed +here 12 hours ago, nott theodore said: 3. How do you see Draco's and Hermione's trauma playing against each other? Part of this is still to be developed, but the piece that is very evident in the short story version is that Draco has this thing about a person making their own choices. In eight scenes, it's a conversation that's come up twice because some part of him is going to struggle over the things he did and the choices he didn't have. A big part of Hermione's trauma and how it interplays with the two of them gets a bit into the spoiling of the story ... so Im keeping it back : 12 hours ago, nott theodore said: 4. Do you have any head canon for pyschological treatments in the wizarding world? Do you think that they'd develop more after the war? I think that the Wizarding World is even more resistant than the muggle world as accepting psychological issues and their validity - especially considering this story takes place in early 2000s. That said, the muggle world is infinitely far ahead of the wizarding world in understanding what PTSD is and identifying it. So part of this story in the beginning (and to be developed) is Hermione jumping between healers and centers because no one seems to be able to help or really give her answers as to why she is having the issues she has, but ultimately the healer that does help her - he is muggle born in my story - and his brother went to school in the muggle world for psychiatry, so he's been working with his brother a bit because of the second wizarding world. 12 hours ago, nott theodore said: 5. How much of a role do you see Hermione's parents playing in this story? And perhaps having an impact on her trauma? In this world, Hermione's parents memories were never able to be replaced. So currently they aren't in her life at all - and that kind of circles into this chaos of her own struggles in dealing with the world after, because she did that to her parents and while yes, it saved them, she struggles getting past what she did to them and how she is on her own a bit. This ties a bit into how bittersweet the story is. 12 hours ago, nott theodore said: 6. How important do you think that two and a half years after the war is going to be for Draco and Hermione's story progressing? I think it's a bit opposite of how most people who address PTSD in this particular pairing do, but my one shot that is swirling in my brain from Draco's POV would address this a bit - Hermione essentially hasn't moved on from the trauma at all, because six months after the war she just ... stopped being able to have people touch her. And Gryffindors are who they are and part of a Gryffindor is the relationship you have with your friends and a big part of her world is struggling being around her friends when she can't be there with them the same way anymore because she can't be hugged, etc. Whereas Draco is going to have had the opportunity, in poor Malfoy fashion, to think about his traumas and process a bit, but also still struggling with who his family is now. The last story I did on this, Draco had mandated therapy sessions with a healer for a time as part of his punishment post-trials. I've been toying bringing that in again here as well, but at the same time, Draco's still going to have his own struggles but his day to day life in general is better. 12 hours ago, nott theodore said: 7. What's one thing you can't Camp NaNo without? @RonsGirlFriday b/c who else would tolerate my 1am out of the blue messages when I have a thought about some story and deal with my bullshit Also right I didn't mean to type that much and now I've got no energy so I promise I'll come back for yours @shadowycorner lol.
aurevoir Posted June 27, 2020 Author Posted June 27, 2020 I figured I should go ahead and stop being lazy and post one of these too because I'm losing track of my own stories so. For those that don't know, I'm Cassie - a 29-year old tax lawyer who regularly has "oh god I turn 30 soon" moments and existential crisis about the work I do because it's for the 1%. I have an erratic sleep pattern and anxiety, so I will think about things forever and ever. I'm socially awkward but you can almost always bet that I'm annoying @RonsGirlFriday if I'm awake. I have been writing fanfiction since I was fourteen years old but I will never share any of that here because it was utter garbage. I have also been writing Draco/Hermione since then and it's just a thing at this point that's never getting taken away (though I have also written Ron/Hermione, Harry/Hermione, Draco/Ginny, Draco/Astoria, and Harry/Ginny based stories). I have an obsession with music and will fixate on a song and them sometimes stories come to me that just beg to be written. My stories have a tendency to get wildly out of hand and develop spin-off and a hundred other disasters within. So the stories! Stories posted to the archives you were good to me Summary: Sometimes, even when someone is good to you, the best thing you can do is leave to heal yourself. To save them. To give them the life they deserve, even if it means watching them move on from the sidelines. And I'm so used to lettin' go. But I don't wanna be alone. You were good to me. You were good to me, yeah, oh. Pairing: Draco/Hermione, but ... UHEA. Pairing was Draco/Hermione and prompt was: When you treasure someone, it can be painful to see them find happiness with another person. Chapters: one-shot, but almost 10k words. Written for the HP-Unhappily-Ever-After challenge in Sept. / Oct. 2019. Was actually the first thing I had written after my mom passed away, so was a big deal for me on a mental / personal level to be able to embrace that side of myself again. Songfic to you were good to me by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler. Splintered Summary: Everything can go from fine to fractured in a matter of days. Hermione can only watch as the rest of the world moves on after her mother's death, while she remains splintered, broken. Surrounded by people she loves, she feels alone, because who can really understand her pain and understand the blackness in her heart. A heart that's been broke is a heart that's been loved. Pairing: Ron / Hermione (but...UHEA), hints of Draco/Hermione end game though nothing explicit. Prompt for Ron/Hermione was: Given the opportunity, would she go back and change it all? Chapters: 7 chapters total, it is entirely completed I'm just slow/lazy in posting to the forums. It's entirely posted over at AO3. Written for the HP-Unhappily-Ever-After in Spring 2020. This story was actually a spin-off of one of the stories below - the entire point of the two stories is to contrast how one decision can alter the trajectory of your life / healing and really compare how different people can be there for you in grief. Similar to you were good to me, this story was pretty emotional for me to write because it was definitely a self-therapy in terms of writing about my mother's own death. A lot of the experiences Hermione go through are reflective of things I was dealing with personally (apathy to a lot of things around me, the constant frustration of people saying I'm sorry, but then also people expecting you to just ... move on like before, etc.), so it was really a way for me to heal in that. The prompt had a 25k word limit, which I went over by a few hundred, so it definitely doesn't explore it near as much as Memories of a Life will. On-going projects Sweetest Downfall Summary: Psy·cho·so·mat·ic | /ˌsīkōsəˈmadik/ | adjective | of a physical illness or other condition caused or aggravated by a mental factor, such as internal conflict or stress. Or by severe post traumatic stress disorder from a war against a mad-man. Hermione thought everything would be simple after the death of Voldemort - she and Ron, Ginny and Harry - they would all get the happy ever after that they all deserved, with little stress in life. Her brain has other ideas, causing her to constantly relive her night of torture anytime anyone touches her, or at least almost everyone. How are you supposed to handle a world where you can't touch the first love of your life or friends and move on past the psychological trauma of the past? Pairing: Mostly Draco/Hermione, as Ron/Hermione break-up very early on. Chapters: No idea, novel length This story was supposed to be a fairly simple one-shot at first for @maraudertimes as I discussed in my Nest, but everything has exploded and I absolutely need to write more. There's so much to explore in terms of PTSD after everything that happened in the books and the part of me that was a Psych major for two years cannot avoid writing about it at all. More about it can be found in my nest posting: beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth Summary: Psy·cho·so·mat·ic | /ˌsīkōsəˈmadik/ | adjective | of a physical illness or other condition caused or aggravated by a mental factor, such as internal conflict or stress. Or by severe post traumatic stress disorder from a war against a mad-man. Hermione thought everything would be simple after the death of Voldemort - she and Ron, Ginny and Harry - they would all get the happy ever after that they all deserved, with little stress in life. Her brain has other ideas, causing her to constantly relive her night of torture anytime anyone touches her, or at least almost everyone. How are you supposed to handle a world where you can't touch the first love of your life or friends and move on past the psychological trauma of the past? Pairing: Mostly Draco/Hermione, as Ron/Hermione break-up very early on. Chapters: No idea, short-story / novella length. I have 14k words and several more scenes to go. The short-story version of Sweetest Downfall above which will be posted for Lo's swoon challenge. No other change. The Search (tentative name) Summary: [None written yet] Pairing: None, Draco POV Chapters: ... ideally just a one-shot, but things have a tendency to explode on me So this story will take place in the same universe as Sweetest Downfall / beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth. This story was inspired during my NF obsession I had for a week a while ago and his song The Search (which is largely focused around Nate's own psychological issues) and really got my brain pumping about how I needed to write a story from Draco's POV after the war and how he's dealing with his PTSD immediately after. This story will be a bit of bridge between the initial stories above and where it picks up 2.5 years later, showing how Draco's processed. Specifically, touching on his mandatory healer therapy sessions as part of his settlement with the Wizengamot (b/c that is a head canon I will never get rid of), etc. Memories of a Life Summary: [Not written yet] Pairing: Primarily Draco/Hermione, as Ron/Hermione don't survive very long. Chapters: No idea, novel length likely This one is the original story that Splintered was based on. A lot of the scenes from Splintered will make an appearance here, but there's a fundamental difference in a decision that Hermione makes early on. My thought when I wrote Splintered was to show how one decision can alter your life, etc., so this will really focus on the impact of having someone early on in your grief process who can be there for you in a way no one else can. Unnamed story - Harry Potter reclaiming Halloween Summary: [Not written yet] Pairing: Not particularly romance focused, but takes point from Harry's POV so Harry/Ginny. Will also see Ron/Hermione, Draco/Hermione, and ... a surprise pairing I don't want to throw out yet Chapters: 8/9 (1998 - 2005/2006) So this story is a spin-off of a scene in Splintered (which will also be in Memories of a Life, altered a bit). I haven't decided in which timeline this will take place between the two stories just yet, but the story will generally start the first Halloween after the Battle of Hogwarts and last until the first Halloween after Harry and Ginny have James. The entire focus will be this idea of Harry's to reclaim Halloween from his parents death to be a happy memory and how his friend gatherings slowly turn into these extravagant parties, but then the last year is once they have a kid - so a bit different. The scenes will only be immediately around Halloween, not the rest of the year. This story is also because @RonsGirlFriday told me she needed this story after I was talking to her about the reclaiming Halloween party when it appeared in Splintered.
aurevoir Posted June 27, 2020 Author Posted June 27, 2020 On 6/26/2020 at 12:16 PM, shadowycorner said: Hi again, Cassie, here for some questions 1. what makes Hermione withdraw from her friends instead of going to them for comfort? tbh...I took some inspiration here from quarantine. I didn't realize until all of this just HOW dependent I was on getting my weekly hugs from my best friend that works in the same office as me. And that was the worst part about being quarantined by myself - not the being by myself, but never getting hugs from my friend. So because she can't stand to have her friends touching her, its painful for her on an emotional level to be around them. Maybe it's not necessarily how others see it, but I've always imagined Gryffindors being very touchy-feely type friends - hugs, just touching each others shoulders, etc. So all of the sudden she's thrust into a situation where they can't do that with her but she has to watch them still be that way with each other. So in a bit - how I was starved for my best friends hugs, she's starved for the same from her friends and it's more painful to be around them and not have it. On 6/26/2020 at 12:16 PM, shadowycorner said: 2. Is Harry going to have a big role in the story? Yes and no. In the short-story version, my Ron / Harry interactions are a bit equal, but in the full version story I see her having interactions with him more so outside of friend gatherings. I can't really answer further than that without spoiling part of the story though. On 6/26/2020 at 12:16 PM, shadowycorner said: 3. What are, in your opinion, the biggest challenges when writing about PTSD? OH man. I think a bit of it is trying to put myself into their exact shoes - I mean, I have my own bullshit I've been through at ages of my life I never should have. I'm 29 and still have nightmares of an event that happened when I was ~12. And I mean - it wasn't war, it was a 12 hour event. But there's topics I don't like to talk about and there's things I avoid still because of that (and let's be real, I honestly probably should have had therapy when I look back at some of the things I wrote when I was 14, and even now I tend to write only angst). So trying to extrapolate that ... anxiety / reactions, into things that happened for Hermione - a year on the run, a night of extreme torture and then for Draco - years living under his father's thumb and then with Voldemort in his house, etc. I'm also always a bit worried about getting characterizations right - I mean, I have a psych minor and was a psych major for a time period. I used to want to be a psychiatrist. So I like to think I have a better grasp on understanding it and portraying it than some other people, but it's still not my speciality. I'm a fucking tax lawyer, lol. On 6/26/2020 at 12:16 PM, shadowycorner said: 4. Is Hermione going to be dealing with professional, career-related issues in this story as well, or will it be focused solely on the psychological aspect? The short-story absolutely does not touch on her professionally. There's a reference to her being at work at the ministry and Draco stopping by in connection with his representation as the Black seat on the Wizengamot. It'll be something I bring up a bit more in the long story, but more in a sense how the psychological issues kind of carry over into her professional life. On 6/26/2020 at 12:16 PM, shadowycorner said: 5. Does it often happen to you that a sweet little idea spirals out of control into a longer project? .... this year a lot. I hadn't written fanfiction from ... 2015? until last fall, I'd just written some original stuff (but...not a lot). And even then, I didn't really start my next story (which was the original version of Splintered) until December. Maybe it's my brain making up for the fact that I didn't write for years really, but these ideas just keep invading my brain - sometimes I lose them, but these ones just kind of hover constantly in the background. These projects are all far more ambitious than my previous ones had been though. On 6/26/2020 at 12:16 PM, shadowycorner said: 6. Will Draco veering toward Hermione be only a result of the trauma or do you headcanon him having feelings for her or being interested in her before the war (a lot of people claim or think there are hints throughout the books that he actually secretly pined for her a bit)? Draco's veering to Hermione is initially brought on by a plot point I haven't specifically mentioned anywhere. It'll be out there once the short story is posted ... but I don't want to spoil that piece. As a general matter, I don't think in this world he was necessarily interested in her before the war (though whether that's just because of how he was raised is a question that could be asked). I have read and enjoyed stories that imply that, but I think for purposes of my head it's more a sign that he wasn't really necessarily a bad person but he didn't have choices in what he was doing (which...is a theme as well). On 6/26/2020 at 12:16 PM, shadowycorner said: Also, about your last comment to my reply...characters taking over and making it way more romance-y than you planned...I can TOTALLY relate I have absolutely no idea what to do with it b/c I just write angsty things and romance is new to me and let me tell you, I've had to write some scenes that I'm like "god no I don't want to." 21 hours ago, MuggleMaybe said: I cannot stay long bcs really I'm supposed to be modding and not posting but Cassie, oh my god, Samson is one of my VERY FAVORITE SONGS OF ALL TIME. (Also: "How". And also also: "Us". Anyways.) I was speed reading this for modding purposes and I saw the lyrics and pretty much had a fangirl explosion of excitement! I will try to come back when I have time to actually think about the story, sorry OH MY GOD YES US IS SUCH A GOOD SONG TOO. I've always thought it's a bit of the antithesis to Samson a little bit??? But oh man I may be adding it to my spotify playlist too. I haven't heard How before but I'm listening to it now - I was super into her in jr. high / high school, but I didn't listen to her as much after 2009/2010. and I'm always game to spam about music
sibilant Posted June 28, 2020 Posted June 28, 2020 Hi Cassie! This seems like a really cool project and I’m excited to read it! I have a few questions for you 1. What about this particular song was so inspiring? 2. I’m also drawn to writing about war and the effects of war. Do you have a sense of why you’re interested in writing war stories? 3. I think it’s awesome that you’re going to write about Hermione’s trauma; I feel like she’s often cast into a “strong woman” role and therefore not allowed to feel her pain truly. I’m curious about your thoughts around how Hermione’s trauma is similar to and different from Draco’s trauma—both victims of war, but obviously in different ways. 4. Are you planning on writing about other characters’ PTSD as well—including major characters like Harry, but also minor characters/OCs—people who weren’t on the frontlines so to speak but still very affected? 5. How are you going about the process of expanding the short story version of the fic to a longer fic? 6. 1k a day is an ambitious goal! Do you have strategies for keeping yourself motivated and inspired? good luck!
beyond the rain Posted July 2, 2020 Posted July 2, 2020 hey cassie! Here with some questions: 1. As a fellow graphics maker, what comes first? The fic or the banner? Do banners ever inspire a fic? 2. What is about dramione that you love so much? Talk to be about their dynamic a little bit! 3. Would you ever write a different HP genre, if so, which one? 4. Are there any characters you like to read about, but won't write? 5. What are your top three favourite tropes? 6. Looking at the fics in here, you tend to explore mental health and PTSD a lot. I feel like most, if not all, characters from the HP series would have to deal with trauma of the war. How do have any tips for writing PTSD, or how you approach it?
magemadi Posted July 4, 2020 Posted July 4, 2020 Cassie!! Uh,,, hellooooo I am SO HERE for a Dramione that’s gotten out of hand in terms of story length!! Also, the fact it focuses on Hermione (and co.) dealing with post-War trauma is very cool and I look forward to your take on it. I’ve also got a few questions for you! 1. What drew you to making this a Dramione fic? 2. How do you think having an opening scene occurring during/right after the War and then jumping two and a half years into the future will affect your options for flashback scenes of those 2.5 “missing” years in later chapters, if you plan to use that style of writing? 3. Without spoilers, what kind of relationship do you think Hermione and Harry will have during this fic, and will it remain sibling-esque like it is in the books, or do you envision them undergoing some severe changes in regards to that friendship bond?
aurevoir Posted July 5, 2020 Author Posted July 5, 2020 On 6/28/2020 at 2:19 PM, sibilant said: Hi Cassie! This seems like a really cool project and I’m excited to read it! I have a few questions for you 1. What about this particular song was so inspiring? Oh man, I don't know if I'd say it's this one song in particular - Splintered was kind of written based on my own experiences and listening to Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran a lot when I needed to just cry (we played it at my mom's funeral), you were good to me came to me based on the song by the same title, etc. I go through phases where I listen to songs on repeat and on one particular day, I had listened to Samson like 10 times in repeat and my brain was like "this would make a great soundtrack to a bittersweet love story" (because...that's kind of what it is) and my brain just sort of ran with the thought from there - really focusing on the "Sweetest downfall" line of the song - that's what really got the story started and what I was focused on, developing a storyline that would fit into why Draco would be Hermione's sweetest downfall, but also what would keep her out of the history books (like the story also says). On 6/28/2020 at 2:19 PM, sibilant said: 2. I’m also drawn to writing about war and the effects of war. Do you have a sense of why you’re interested in writing war stories? I was actually a psych major for a time (I ended up graduating with a sociology major and psych minor), so there's that bit of me that's just fascinated with the human psyche. I don't necessarily like writing about war itself, but the aftermath. A bit self-serving too - I wouldn't compare anything I've gone through to be on the same level of shit as they dealt with in the war and I can't imagine that level of stress, but dealing with my mom's own sickness and a few other things (I've dealt a bit more with suicide than I would care to) - seeing how those incidents have impacted my life on the long-run. The psychological part of it (I refuse to take Ibuprofen, I have aversions to certain other things) - just how those impact your day to day life and how something as all consuming as a year on the run and fighting in a battle at 17 - how that would just alter people fundamentally fascinates me. I've hated the epilogue we got since the day it was written because everything was wrapped up too perfectly. While the movies didn't get it right, the Hunger Game books really got that aspect right to me. Life is messy and horrible and you throw in events like that? There's just so much to explore. On 6/28/2020 at 2:19 PM, sibilant said: 3. I think it’s awesome that you’re going to write about Hermione’s trauma; I feel like she’s often cast into a “strong woman” role and therefore not allowed to feel her pain truly. I’m curious about your thoughts around how Hermione’s trauma is similar to and different from Draco’s trauma—both victims of war, but obviously in different ways. While what they went through is completely opposite, it's a bit of the same core concept in a different package. The one-shot story I have really will explore this for Draco, but a lot of his focuses on just his utter lack of choice (which his obsession with choice is evident in this too) - he went from being raised that he was better than everyone else, to having no choices and having to do things that even based on book Draco I don't think was fundamentally in his nature (re: Myrtle saying he cries a lot, etc. - it's in canon that it's not his nature), to being expected to just function in the world. Flip Hermione and hers tends to be a bit more on the loss of control specifically, not necessarily choice. Because she is a strong person - but she was utterly without control and at mercy of the war around her and then Bellatrix for a time. But it's interesting that you bring this up because I think the way I write Hermione's trauma now (after my mom died) is a bit different than how I wrote it before. Before - she was still strong and it wasn't as all consuming. I feel like I keep referencing that life event, but I have always been a very independent person who said what she thought and that was that. I didn't need people, I didn't rely on people, I just did my own thing. But having experienced my mom dying - it really impacted how people treated me with the expectation of me being strong and how I wanted to be treated. So a bit of exploring Hermione is exploring that side of it (which is definitely relevant in Splintered as theme also, just different trauma). So it's exploring that strong and loss of control sensation, but also just needing someone to be there in a way you don't know how to vocalize because you've never actually needed someone there before. On 6/28/2020 at 2:19 PM, sibilant said: 4. Are you planning on writing about other characters’ PTSD as well—including major characters like Harry, but also minor characters/OCs—people who weren’t on the frontlines so to speak but still very affected? Draco will get his own one-shot out of this. I hope to have it a bit touched on for all the characters in this story, but not as a primary focus (I even touch on Marietta Edgecombe in this one a little bit, but it's more focused on something). One of the other stories I'm working on - based on a concept from Splintered - will focus a bit on it for Harry, but in a different way. The entire idea behind that story is about him reclaiming Halloween from being the day his parents died to a day to enjoy with his family. It'll only have scenes focusing around the immediate days around Halloween every year, but I think it'll touch a bit on his own process in those years because of how the reclaiming Halloween 'parties' change over the years too. On 6/28/2020 at 2:19 PM, sibilant said: 5. How are you going about the process of expanding the short story version of the fic to a longer fic? So the short story is basically going to be a lot of the pivotal scenes form the big story, so really it's connecting the time in between and exploring concepts I've mentioned (i.e., I've cut a bit of Draco's PTSD direct from the story and there's more in the Harry/Ron/Hermione dynamic to write). Sometimes I have Hermione reminiscing on a scene that happened in the in-between in the short story that I'd develop into the full scene for the long story and then the reference in the specific scene would be more brief reference back to it (because then it's been written). On 6/28/2020 at 2:19 PM, sibilant said: 6. 1k a day is an ambitious goal! Do you have strategies for keeping yourself motivated and inspired? cry, lol. Part of the reason I did 1k is when I sit down and write - I write a LOT of words. I sat down for like .... 90 minutes earlier and churned out 1700 words. So it's playing into the fact that when I write, I write a lot - it's just a focus thing a lot of the time. So if I have a goal, maybe I'm more likely to not be sporadic in writing - maybe I only actually write 250 words one day during the week, but then I sit down for an extended period on the weekend and write 3/4k words (I'm working on another scene already today and I'm sure by the time I finish it, I'll be close to 4k words and caught up on my word total for the month to date). I'm coming back for Madi's questions but I need to eat dinner...lol.
aurevoir Posted July 5, 2020 Author Posted July 5, 2020 On 7/3/2020 at 7:16 PM, magemadi said: Cassie!! Uh,,, hellooooo I am SO HERE for a Dramione that’s gotten out of hand in terms of story length!! Also, the fact it focuses on Hermione (and co.) dealing with post-War trauma is very cool and I look forward to your take on it. I’ve also got a few questions for you! getting my money's worth out of that psych minor, lol On 7/3/2020 at 7:16 PM, magemadi said: 1. What drew you to making this a Dramione fic? to a point it's just a comfort for me. I've written Harry/Hermione, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Draco/Ginny, started a Rose/Scorpius I've never finished. but part of this story (which I've discussed with others outline) was originally just supposed to be utterly bittersweet and a bit of a stockholm-esque syndrome (although some of the story has warped over time). The exact story line that came to me wouldn't have worked with anyone else really. On 7/3/2020 at 7:16 PM, magemadi said: 2. How do you think having an opening scene occurring during/right after the War and then jumping two and a half years into the future will affect your options for flashback scenes of those 2.5 “missing” years in later chapters, if you plan to use that style of writing? So I actually have a one-shot (which knowing me will become much more than a one-shot) that takes place in the 2.5 years for Draco kind of focusing on his post-war dealings. From Hermione's POV, the full stories will have flashbacks that are meant more to focus on things that went wrong because of her aversion to touch, and it sort of haunts her as well (i.e., magic going awry, etc.). The opening scene is actually a key plot point to the rest of the story though On 7/3/2020 at 7:16 PM, magemadi said: 3. Without spoilers, what kind of relationship do you think Hermione and Harry will have during this fic, and will it remain sibling-esque like it is in the books, or do you envision them undergoing some severe changes in regards to that friendship bond? I... actually can't answer this without spoiling it, haha. There's changes. I can say that much.
aurevoir Posted July 8, 2020 Author Posted July 8, 2020 On 7/2/2020 at 10:39 AM, beyond the rain said: 1. As a fellow graphics maker, what comes first? The fic or the banner? Do banners ever inspire a fic? I don't often make graphics just randomly that I then feel inspired to write a story for, tbh. Sometimes I'll UFG or other graphics from others and I'll feel inspired then. But usually I have at least a loose idea of the story before I make a graphic for it. Quote 2. What is about dramione that you love so much? Talk to be about their dynamic a little bit! I think part of it is just the fact that it was the omg OTP I latched onto when I was 14/15 (because I think the parts I like so much could be easily replicated in other ones). But a lot of it then was I liked how people wrote their dynamic - whether or not you believe it's canon, it's like universally accepted by Dramione writers that Draco was always second to her, so I've just always enjoyed it being someone who challenged her - he wasn't ever going to be anyone that just bowed to her on an intellectual subject because she was who she was. and tbh, part of that can probably be tied a bit to where I grew up / self projection and how I never felt like I fit in, but the one thing I've always looked for in significant others is just someone who can challenge me intellectually. Quote 3. Would you ever write a different HP genre, if so, which one? I wasn't sure if you meant genre as in not angst or pairing, but I think pairing? I've actually written Draco/Ginny, Hermione/Harry, Hermione/Ron, Draco/Astoria before as well. I've been debating a Draco/Astoria for the lovers to friends challenge. I tend to write Hermione more because I relate to her a lot (I never quite felt like I fit in, I was the smartest in my friend group in school, I'm not great at talking about emotions, I'm fairly spiteful like dark Hermione, etc.), so it's kind of just want I repeat over and over. If you acually meant genre and will I ever write something that isn't angsty, I mean technically sure yes I just feel like my angst writing is better lol. I've been debating writing fluff though. Quote 4. Are there any characters you like to read about, but won't write? I really like Victoire/Teddy pairings but I have NEVER written them. I also love Luna but I could never write a story focused around her. I don't think I could ever do her justice and I feel like I repeat the same concepts with her over and over. I'm actually going to try and develop her more in my sweetest downfall story. Quote 5. What are your top three favourite tropes? TROPES. Enemies to lovers def 100% since I love Dramione so much. I also.... really like the whole "THERE WAS ONE BED" .... and, uhm. Man, just really the whole mutual pining / slow burn. I really like amnesia (if done well) and soulmate stories too. That's more than three but I struggled to make a third one just one lol. Quote 6. Looking at the fics in here, you tend to explore mental health and PTSD a lot. I feel like most, if not all, characters from the HP series would have to deal with trauma of the war. How do have any tips for writing PTSD, or how you approach it? This was actually a hard one for me to answer. I've always been very interested in psychology generally, I took all the classes I could in high school and was a psych major for a period of time before I switched it to a psych minor. For PTSD at this point, I've written about it enough that I kind of just remember the things I've researched/read over time, but I know the first few times I wrote it seriously I did a lot of research about the topic and even read a few like ... personal essays from people suffering. One story I posted when I was like ... I dunno, 18-20, I had beta'd by someone who was doing their masters in counseling, so they were able to help me focus things and it's just things I've internalized since I repeat. I think my biggest tips: research the HELL out of whatever mental health / PTSD you're going to explore. I read like 10 articles on psychosomatic before I even started writing the story to figure it out. Because I did take so many psychology (and sociology) classes, I think maybe this part comes a little easier for me. read personal exposures about it - whether its just that NYT article or other. for PTSD type issues in general, including psychosomatic a bit, my experience in researching (and even dealing with it a bit) is that the mind tends to fixate on a certain event or trigger. i.e., veterans can't handle fireworks because it sounds like guns and it sets them off. For Hermione, in the my psychosomatic story, it's fixated on Bellatrix having her trapped and carving her arm, so that's the fixation on a specific event. BUT - it's not just that. There may be an overarching theme that's more severe, but for PTSD, there will be other things - can't have the back to an open space, have to be able to see people. totally based on my impression, but I think its fairly evident in how I focus on PTSD, but I often think control is a big issue in this. Because the events that tend to cause people to suffer PTSD are about a TOTAL lack of control - whether it be rape, a war, a loved one committing suicide, etc. So focusing on how a character's anxiety would ramp up in a situation when they lose control. But it can even be something more simple. Using a bit of a personal anecdote because it's the easiest way I can think to illustrate - when I was in 7th grade, I was staying the night at my friends house when her mom attempted suicide. I have refused to take Ibuprofen named ibuprofen (even though I know Advil and Motrin are the same thing, I'll take them). So it's not necessarily a logic thing - but my friends mom took an entire bottle of the Ibuprofen named ibuprofen, so I avoid it (fwiw, this is definitely one of those things I should have gone to a therapist when I was younger and I still have nightmares time to time if I'm too stressed). So maybe Hermione avoids wide open spaces because of the ballroom, maybe Harry avoids dark water because of almost drowning in the lake, etc. etc. I like to take a step back and say if I was this person - with their traits - how could they several react to certain situations when they went through x event. For Ron, I see his PTSD focusing more on his family (i.e., like an obsession with that family clock type thing for a while after). For Harry/Draco, I see both of theirs being focused on choice (Harry because he had no choice in being the chosen one and the things he had to do and Draco for having no real decision in the choices he made). Hermione's is usually just an utter lack of control over an event (b/c she's rather controlling). For Ginny, it's a bit of being left out / forgotten (b/c she was left at hogwarts, etc.). I try to really pick a key thing for that personality and focus how it would be reflected in reactions. I'm not sure how helpful any of that really is. I'm definitely always willing to talk to people if they want to do PTSD based mental health issues in a story because I think its a subject that is important to acknowledge and understand, especially in light of the world as it is.
shadowycorner Posted July 17, 2020 Posted July 17, 2020 Hey Cassie Lassie, here to drop off some gifty questions for you First off, thank you for writing such an insightful piece about how you approach writing about PTSD, I thought it was very interesting to explore someone's thought process like that, and see the effort you go to when focusing on that. You seem to be a very spontaneous writer, and things often grow massively under your care, from a drabble into a big sweet one-shot, from a one-shot into a big WIP 1. why do you think this happens and do you like the process? 2. when it comes to writing, what's the balance between careful planning/plotting and creative outbursts? 3. what story are you most proud of? 4. what is your greatest ambition in writing fanfic? Like is there a particular story-type, novel-length, big stakes, deeper issues, something you'd really like to write but feel like you need more time to prepare for? Thank you so much and looking forward to reading more of your work (even when the constant determined sinkage of R/Hr kills me but i like you too much to stay away)
aurevoir Posted July 19, 2020 Author Posted July 19, 2020 On 7/17/2020 at 2:50 AM, shadowycorner said: Hey Cassie Lassie, here to drop off some gifty questions for you First off, thank you for writing such an insightful piece about how you approach writing about PTSD, I thought it was very interesting to explore someone's thought process like that, and see the effort you go to when focusing on that. On 7/17/2020 at 2:50 AM, shadowycorner said: You seem to be a very spontaneous writer, and things often grow massively under your care, from a drabble into a big sweet one-shot, from a one-shot into a big WIP 1. why do you think this happens and do you like the process? THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION. It's funny, because this NEVER used to be an issue - this is only something that started when I came back to writing last fall. I used to write exclusively like .... 3 to 5 chapter things, but like each chapter was maybe 2,000 words. I think part of it now is partly driven by the fact that the plots I'm coming up with are a lot more involved and nuanced with moving parts and I'm trying to develop a lot of those ideas as much as I can without shafting too much of that development. I.e., some of the emotional stuff I'm developing more because of things I went through. But I need it to chill out a bit because I have WAY too much stewing, lol. On 7/17/2020 at 2:50 AM, shadowycorner said: 2. when it comes to writing, what's the balance between careful planning/plotting and creative outbursts? all of my stories that involve careful plotting started initially as creative outbursts and just GREW because I realized how nuanced the plot really needed to be to accurately portray the emotion / thought that I was wanting to. I.e., to really show the development of Hermione's friends becoming distanced, it needed to be more than a one-shot, but then it kind of took on that more romantic side than I was expecting and now I need to plan it out too. This is the first like ... long story project I'm taking on - normally its more of a "these are the things I need to accomplish" - and previously, I didn't write a lot so it was fine, but recently I've had word limits that have necessitated the length - i.e., Splintered was only supposed to be 25k words, and I went over by a bit when you add in A/N, etc. So the upside to this format is I've written the outline of where the story needs to go, I just need to fill in everything between and develop the things you see happening more. so tl;dr, every idea starts as a creative outburst but then I just think about it and develop it more - sometimes without writing and sometimes when I start writing it. sheets of paper was only supposed to be like 5k/10k words for the challenge. It ... did not stay there. But I knew it wasn't going to pretty early on - I had planned out all of the scenes I wanted to write and include and I mostly kept within those requirements - I added one scene and removed two. On 7/17/2020 at 2:50 AM, shadowycorner said: 3. what story are you most proud of? MAN. I think it depends why I would be proud of it. I'm proud of Splintered because of the emotional toil it was and getting feedback from people that it has actually helped them face their own grief process head-on is like ... I could have never asked for anything more. Knowing that it's written in a way that resonates with people. BUT in terms of more plot device - if I can pull off Sweetest Downfall the way it is in my head and how I thought about it, I think it'll be a great feat in terms of the plot line and character developing. There's still a bit of an emotional element to it, but there's more going on (given, the idea for Splintered was originally a long story that DID have more plot elements, but I adapted it to fit a challenge and I've also been thinking about writing the original version). On 7/17/2020 at 2:50 AM, shadowycorner said: 4. what is your greatest ambition in writing fanfic? Like is there a particular story-type, novel-length, big stakes, deeper issues, something you'd really like to write but feel like you need more time to prepare for? Sweetest Downfall will be my first attempt at a novel length story, but I think I'm setting myself up into a better place b/c I've already written 20k words with the biggest scenes, so it's connecting everything within and developing things in a more nuanced way to how I imagined certain things being in the scenes. I feel like I do ... a decent job at the deeper issues hopefully, and I even freaking wrote the fluffiest tooth rotting thing ever recently and I still don't know how I did that. Honestly I should probably give a shot at writing something that isn't romance based, but I feel like maybe that's just a side effect of Sweetest Downfall and the main plot is the PTSD. So I think the big one - I have a tendency to write what I know / am comfortable with. I mean, I've written different pairings within fanfic - Draco/Hermione; Draco/Ginny; Ron/Hermione; Harry/Hermione; Harry/Ginny - I've written all of these. And in the past, I've written from Ron / Draco / Harry's POV. But lately, I've been writing almost exclusively from Hermione's, so I want to change that up. I'm not sure what that's going to look like - @RonsGirlFriday gave me a few more fluff prompts and one of them I was thinking would be from Draco's POV, so it changes the POV up from how I have been writing recently. I've also been debating a Harry/Ginny and/or Draco/Astoria for the lovers to friend challenge (admittedly, the harry/ginny has a definitive plot and theme already i just haven't written it). On 7/17/2020 at 2:50 AM, shadowycorner said: Thank you so much and looking forward to reading more of your work (even when the constant determined sinkage of R/Hr kills me but i like you too much to stay away) If it makes you feel better, I have bribed @RonsGirlFriday with a happy (as I can make it not necessarily tooth rotting level) Ron/Hermione if she writes them for the lovers to friend challenge .... so now I'm putting that out into the world so you can pressure her for that story to get it out of me
Renacerá Posted October 29, 2020 Posted October 29, 2020 CASSIE. I just read "The One With the Technical Difficulties," and I am not okay. I LOVED IT SO MUCH. It's now tied in my heart as my favorite story of yours (the other being "You Were Good To Me"). I've read 4/6 of your stories (if we don't count "Invisible String," since it isn't a Dramione), and I've started "beneath the sheets," but TOWtTD just...akjghalkdjs. My Dramione-loving heart basically burst. So, I have some questions for you! I get asked a few of these with relative frequency, and I'd love to know how you'd answer them. But then I also just have some questions uNiQuE to you. What's your favorite thing about writing Hermione? What about Draco? All of your Dramiones I've read so far are post-Hogwarts/rebuilding era. Do you think you'd ever want to write a story about their time at Hogwarts? Maybe an alternate eighth year? Or do you find (as I feel I constantly do) that the older you get, the more comfortable you are just writing everybody as mid-20s professionals? What's your favorite classically terrible Dramione trope from back in the day? (e.g. Heads Dorms, "Slytherin Sex God," "curves in all the right places," random ass kidnap plots, etc.) You've written both super fluffy stories ("The One With the Frosting") and super angsty ones ("You Were Good To Me"). What are the challenges you experience in writing each of those moods, and how do you manage to do both so well? I recently wrote a story that was literally just "Dramione + cats + domestic bliss." If Draco had a pet (besides an owl), what do you think he would have? Okay, that's it for now! On 7/7/2020 at 11:26 PM, aurevoir said: I think part of it is just the fact that it was the omg OTP I latched onto when I was 14/15 (because I think the parts I like so much could be easily replicated in other ones). But a lot of it then was I liked how people wrote their dynamic - whether or not you believe it's canon, it's like universally accepted by Dramione writers that Draco was always second to her, so I've just always enjoyed it being someone who challenged her - he wasn't ever going to be anyone that just bowed to her on an intellectual subject because she was who she was. and tbh, part of that can probably be tied a bit to where I grew up / self projection and how I never felt like I fit in, but the one thing I've always looked for in significant others is just someone who can challenge me intellectually. Literally my exact experience with Dramione. We've talked before about how similar we are, so I just have to shout this out for being another thing we have in common, haha. I was 14/15, happened to read a Dramione story, and literally never looked back. #otp5ever
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