How to write a slowburn

[poppunkpadfoot]

What it says on the tin! I would love some advice from Those In The Know about how to approach writing a slowburn. How do you make sure the payoff is satisfying? How do you build things up convincingly? I'm not quite sure how to phrase this last question but hopefully y'all can figure out what I mean: how do you structure the rest of the plot?

Please give me your Thoughts and Wisdom, I am suffering. Bonus points if you can hit on how something such as....... say.................... internalized homophobia might affect this (but no worries if you can't touch on that hahaha, general advice is wonderful too!).

[TidalDragon]

This is very easy, Kayla. Step one: decide on the pairing. Step two: decide on the slowness (fast slow vs. slow slow vs. slow AF). Step three: take years upon years to finish.

In all seriousness though, I think one of the things that really helped me was coming up with side-arcs that people can get into that (hopefully) connect to the endgame ship in some way so you can use them not just to add to the quality of the story generally, but to create some nice shared interest or values or figuring each other out and/or sexual tension through those segments. 

That said, too many side-arcs can be a problem. This really messed me up in Evolution because some of them only involve the endgame characters much later or had a decent span between phases.

I also think a good component of a slow burn is adding a heavy taste of the friendship dynamics for each character. I know it's not true of everybody, but I'd say most people have at least a couple of good friends and including those relationships can both buy some time and set up some of those knowing conversations that can first be wink-wink-nudge-nudge between the friends, then stronger wink-wink-nudge-nudge with one part of the endgame pairing, then 'bro wtf admit the truth'.

As for that characters themselves, one thing to really consider is the type of situation you're dealing with (friends-to-lovers or enemies-to-lovers or your average everyday characters just falling for each other). There can be a lot of things that you can use there. Friends-to-lovers can go heavier on some super awkward moments and double entendres (or are they...?). Enemies-to-lovers can have a lot of forced interactions. Randos can have...their precious little moments.

Then there's the level of cluelessness. Is this one side thinking it's unrequited? Both thinking it is? Are they both pretty aware they're interested but facing obstacles (like that damn current bf/gf)? You know what I'm saying.

TL;DR: Figure out the dynamics between the endgame characters, figure out how they get to mutual attraction and subsequent relationship (and how long it takes), and use other stuff that works with the plot and makes it all believable for side-arcs that both relate and buy you time.

Thus ends my (questionable) advice on slow burns.  

[GotNoJamsss]

On 7/2/2020 at 11:28 AM, poppunkpadfoot said:

How do you build things up convincingly?

To me, every relationship starts in a fairly shallow place. I don't mean shallow like it's all based on looks, rather that your knowledge of a person doesn't begin in some deep, meaningful place. You learn more about them, what scares them, what excites them, what motivates them, and those things help you understand and care more for them. You start to pick up on their mannerisms and their facial cues, ect. 

I think you build things by starting at that surface level and having characters start noticing details and comment on the small things. Even if they don't realize they're doing it. Going from 'ugh that person is loud' to 'I wonder why he feels he needs to scream to be heard' then to 'he's an intense person and I love his passion'. To switch mid-story from 'she put her hands on her hips and stormed across the room' to 'she must have been frustrated because her hands hadn't left her hips even after several paces.'

Last piece of advice from a nobody like me (maybe hitting on your last question?): build things up inside a character, not just between characters. What is a character thinking vs. what are they feeling vs. what are they doing/saying? All three of those could be different in the same interaction and you're still only looking at one half of the equation. 

[tatapb]

I'd love to say I'm not qualified to reply to this, but sadly I am. I love reading (and apparently writing) slowburn hells.

Slowburns tend to qualify as slowburns not because there's external reasons (explosions and whatnot happening) to keep these characters apart (they're together pretty often and quite satisfyingly) but because there are are internal reasons. They're together, they're getting to know each other, they're (like @RogueSlytherin said) becoming friends until they get to a point where they realise "oh, dear, there are feelings involved here that aren't necessarily just friendly" and, ultimately, after a LONG time, to smooches and cutesy scenes.

(We're talking about thick/damaged characters here, not self-aware, functional and insightful people who go "oh, yes, this feeling in my bosom is definitely love and I accept that it exists and will now embrace it".) 

Slowburns need to make your readers grind their teeth until there's finally a "FINALLY" moment. Like sure, in other stories, the reader's happy when they get together. In slowburns, you want your reader to be about ready to burn the world by the time they get together. You want the reader ready to stalk you and find your home address and kick your ass if you don't finally allow your two characters to be happy. You want the reader to despair, to want to jump into the narrative and go "NOW KISS" to the poor characters you've been torturing.

You'll notice that slow burns come in many flavours. There's the typical "I don't want to get rejected", "I don't have the time for a relationship", "I'm broken inside and I can't be with another person", "I'm already in a relationship", "I hate this guy", "I'm completely oblivious", "But we're friends tho and I don't want to ruin that", etc. etc. but they're typically internal reasons and the slow burn happens when either or both characters have them. They're the reasons that keep the ship from succumbing to their budding feelings and getting married and having pretty babies.

Mind you, both characters can be reluctant (and that's easier to write) or one of the characters can be self aware. Combinations are fun, and people don't fall in love at the same time, that'd be far too convenient. For example, there's Lily/James, where he was all for it and she just kept telling him to sod off (let's for a second ignore how morally dubious that is). Having a character go "Hey there, you're pretty wanna date me" right off the bat and getting his sorry ass handed to him and then spending the rest of the story with them getting to know each other (for real) and the character who rejected them falling slowly in love with them... is perfection. 

Usually, at some point, the two characters are fully conscious that they're into each other but, to the absolute dismay of our readers (and possibly everyone around them in the story), they're not doing anything about it. They're stagnant. They're reluctant. They're afraid, they're... insufferable. The situation is completely different from what it was in the start and yet, like the recalcitrant assholes they are, they're resisting the siren call of love.

Why the hell do we put up with slow burns? Why do we root for these characters who are so obviously idiots? 

Because we love the characters involved, obviously. Because we read them together and go "no, but why, you're perfect for each other already, you'd be even more if you smooched!". Because we empathise with them and, even if sometimes we want to smack them (yes, this is an important component of any slow burn, feeling like either or both characters need to get smacked), we get that it's difficult. We want them to get over their problems and succeed and be happy.

In the specific case of internalised homophobia, that's at least one of the reasons keeping them apart (I'm assuming you mean the character in question is homosexual and therefore needs to come to terms and accept their sexuality before anything can happen). It's a terrible reason. It's horrible. But it's also real and human and it's a damned good reason for there to be a slowburn.

At first, it keeps the character from realising what's obvious to us readers (especially if they haven't figured it out themselves and it's a first instance of their interest in a member of the same gender). Then it keeps them from accepting their love in an "it's wrong and I can't and I don't want to" way. Then it can be the cause for fear and anxiety and all that good stuff that makes you go "nooooo, my precious cinnamon roll, I love you and accept you, no, please don't think that sort of thing about yourself, no, look, they also love you for chrissake!".

Slow burn is what happens before they get together, not after. After they get together, by all means, throw all external problems at them, like the parents who are opposed or the job that gets in the way or (in this case) society being a bag of dicks and judging them for it... but they're already together. They're burning already and quite satisfyingly. 

Slow burn is internal. You can throw in external elements, like someone interrupting when something's about to happen (remember what I said about teeth grinding?), but that's a pedestrian way of keeping them apart. If you have two characters who dig each other but life is constantly pissing on them (external reasons) and they can't get together that IS a slowburn... but it's also a garbage slowburn. Good slowburn is not "they can't get together" it's "they can get together but for some reason they won't". "They can't" is when I hate and blame the author, and that's never what you want, you want the reader to go "yeah, this makes sense, but holy shit, is it frustrating, get your shit together peopleeeeee" and direct all their feelings toward the characters. 

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk   If you feel like you'd like to talk about this some more in terms of specific plot/structure, my inbox / discord are always available 

[Jo Raskoph]

On 7/20/2020 at 2:23 AM, tatapb said:

I'd love to say I'm not qualified to reply to this, but sadly I am. I love reading (and apparently writing) slowburn hells.

Slowburns tend to qualify as slowburns not because there's external reasons (explosions and whatnot happening) to keep these characters apart (they're together pretty often and quite satisfyingly) but because there are are internal reasons. They're together, they're getting to know each other, they're (like @RogueSlytherin said) becoming friends until they get to a point where they realise "oh, dear, there are feelings involved here that aren't necessarily just friendly" and, ultimately, after a LONG time, to smooches and cutesy scenes.

(We're talking about thick/damaged characters here, not self-aware, functional and insightful people who go "oh, yes, this feeling in my bosom is definitely love and I accept that it exists and will now embrace it".) 

Slowburns need to make your readers grind their teeth until there's finally a "FINALLY" moment. Like sure, in other stories, the reader's happy when they get together. In slowburns, you want your reader to be about ready to burn the world by the time they get together. You want the reader ready to stalk you and find your home address and kick your ass if you don't finally allow your two characters to be happy. You want the reader to despair, to want to jump into the narrative and go "NOW KISS" to the poor characters you've been torturing.

You'll notice that slow burns come in many flavours. There's the typical "I don't want to get rejected", "I don't have the time for a relationship", "I'm broken inside and I can't be with another person", "I'm already in a relationship", "I hate this guy", "I'm completely oblivious", "But we're friends tho and I don't want to ruin that", etc. etc. but they're typically internal reasons and the slow burn happens when either or both characters have them. They're the reasons that keep the ship from succumbing to their budding feelings and getting married and having pretty babies.

Mind you, both characters can be reluctant (and that's easier to write) or one of the characters can be self aware. Combinations are fun, and people don't fall in love at the same time, that'd be far too convenient. For example, there's Lily/James, where he was all for it and she just kept telling him to sod off (let's for a second ignore how morally dubious that is). Having a character go "Hey there, you're pretty wanna date me" right off the bat and getting his sorry ass handed to him and then spending the rest of the story with them getting to know each other (for real) and the character who rejected them falling slowly in love with them... is perfection. 

Usually, at some point, the two characters are fully conscious that they're into each other but, to the absolute dismay of our readers (and possibly everyone around them in the story), they're not doing anything about it. They're stagnant. They're reluctant. They're afraid, they're... insufferable. The situation is completely different from what it was in the start and yet, like the recalcitrant assholes they are, they're resisting the siren call of love.

Why the hell do we put up with slow burns? Why do we root for these characters who are so obviously idiots? 

Because we love the characters involved, obviously. Because we read them together and go "no, but why, you're perfect for each other already, you'd be even more if you smooched!". Because we empathise with them and, even if sometimes we want to smack them (yes, this is an important component of any slow burn, feeling like either or both characters need to get smacked), we get that it's difficult. We want them to get over their problems and succeed and be happy.

In the specific case of internalised homophobia, that's at least one of the reasons keeping them apart (I'm assuming you mean the character in question is homosexual and therefore needs to come to terms and accept their sexuality before anything can happen). It's a terrible reason. It's horrible. But it's also real and human and it's a damned good reason for there to be a slowburn.

At first, it keeps the character from realising what's obvious to us readers (especially if they haven't figured it out themselves and it's a first instance of their interest in a member of the same gender). Then it keeps them from accepting their love in an "it's wrong and I can't and I don't want to" way. Then it can be the cause for fear and anxiety and all that good stuff that makes you go "nooooo, my precious cinnamon roll, I love you and accept you, no, please don't think that sort of thing about yourself, no, look, they also love you for chrissake!".

Slow burn is what happens before they get together, not after. After they get together, by all means, throw all external problems at them, like the parents who are opposed or the job that gets in the way or (in this case) society being a bag of dicks and judging them for it... but they're already together. They're burning already and quite satisfyingly. 

Slow burn is internal. You can throw in external elements, like someone interrupting when something's about to happen (remember what I said about teeth grinding?), but that's a pedestrian way of keeping them apart. If you have two characters who dig each other but life is constantly pissing on them (external reasons) and they can't get together that IS a slowburn... but it's also a garbage slowburn. Good slowburn is not "they can't get together" it's "they can get together but for some reason they won't". "They can't" is when I hate and blame the author, and that's never what you want, you want the reader to go "yeah, this makes sense, but holy shit, is it frustrating, get your shit together peopleeeeee" and direct all their feelings toward the characters. 

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk   If you feel like you'd like to talk about this some more in terms of specific plot/structure, my inbox / discord are always available 

I want to print this out and make it my writing-manifesto  you're right, you are totally qualified.