Professor McGonagall Posted July 4, 2020 Posted July 4, 2020 Welcome, my children... TO THE REWRITE! What does ALitS stand for? A Lord in the Shadows; it's my prime universe. For this challenge, I will be writing and finishing the first (and as of yet untitled) book in the series. I used this title once before, but now I have a dastardly plan to improve it tremendously from the sad state I've left it in. How? By burning everything down and making it over again, of course! Unfortunately, my new vision had a few sacrifices along the way, such as the treasured lines delivered by Richard Griffiths so swimmingly in each of the HP movies he was in such as 'No post on Sundays' or 'I have had it with you and your nonsense'. Ah, but it'll be a joyride nonetheless despite the tremendous loss of cartoonish Vernon Dudley- er, Vernon Dursley. In fact, I daresay I may prefer the outcome more than the original, given how amenable the new source is! I won't write out a lot of what happens in this book as I've already included plenty of nuggets within the POV character descriptions. However, this does loosely follow the events of the series but includes the rare combination of: competent adults, no caricatures of abuse, Harry as a three-dimensional being rather than an audience stand-in, and many more! Pretty much I have set myself a 75k word goal, at least initially. I thought of doing a 155k first book, but realized that there was no way Harry could get up to anything in his first year to warrant a 155k book. In any case if I average the same amount of words per chapter, the book will be 88k. At this point, I'll stick with 75k. Let's get to it! Book One Description Pretty much, it is a canon rewrite of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone designed to make the book less kid-friendly, more 'realistic' (without bending the basic story too much), and to just make some rational sense. For instance, why oh why would Professor Dumbledore allow the Dursleys to ever get their hands on Harry Potter again even if there was the popularly-termed 'blood ward'? It doesn't track. By the way, Harry gets adopted. Spoilers. Why wouldn't Harry encounter snakes before Year 2 and find out he's a Parseltongue? Things like that irk me. The benefit of hindsight is clear, as some plot elements from later books that should really have been in earlier chapters are, to an extent. There is no character bashing, despite my description of the POV characters' actions in canon. Death of the author doesn't apply to Harry Potter (though there is some controversy over that), but in this house JKR is well and truly dead and her stuff is mine. MINE! It can't be bashing if you rewrite the canon itself to be less holey and more... authentic, instead of creating a fic designed to criticize alone. Book One POV Characters Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore is the aged Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He is the POV character for Chapter 1, where we follow him on two fateful nights in 1981- October 31 and November 1 and the fateful decision that even he could not fully comprehend the consequences of. When writing from Dumbledore's POV, I have mostly avoided the use of contractions and slang language in description while not making it too difficult to understand. I do however go into detail about how he justifies leaving Harry in the Muggle world from having no other choice and sticking by it to some reservations and resignation to the fact that nothing could be done otherwise without potentially causing another stir. It was difficult to write, especially since I firmly believe that Dumbledore is not an inherently evil or cruel person. We do see him pull rank in a couple of places, but overall, at least from Albus' perspective, they are justified. The dramatic irony is that it is REALLY DIFFICULT TO JUSTIFY NOT BREAKING WIZARDING LAW WHEN YOU RUN A SECRET ORGANIZATION.... as well as the fact that he in fact does not know the Dursleys at all and makes a very frustrating and ultimately horrible decision. However, he is afterwards sincerely remorseful about how horribly his plan failed Harry, and does begin to make amends throughout the book. In a word, this Dumbledore is actually competent. Harry James Potter in this book goes from a traumatized boy of ten to a fledgling wizard. And a Slytherin. Yes, it's one of those universes. Anyway he is the main POV character, as he is the POV for chapters 2, 3, 5, 6, 8-10, 13-16. As such we gain a glimpse of how Harry copes in the not-cartoonishly-evil-and-very-scary Dursley household, how he acclimates to being in the 'Evil House', and what motivates him to be who he is- that being a kind, polite, charitable boy with a knack for getting himself into trouble. Because I'm not a coward, there is little House-related bashing in this timeline. Unless you're Ron Weasley. Anyway, Harry in this fic doesn't want to attract attention to himself (he's famous enough as it is) but slowly grows to appreciate his gifts as a wizard, and also his influence on the people around him. He also doesn't slack off in wizard school. This was his DREAM to be in a place where he fits in and could even be king of (if he didn't want the crown at all). For Harry, I wrote in smaller, simpler sentences with a few UK slang words and contractions. Harry's not stupid and I don't want to imply that, however he is still just a boy, as Molly Weasley would've said. Harry wasn't too difficult to write with, but the first few chapters are... horrific. As in, I will need a beta to help me even come close to the maximum standard for the Mature rating before I can ever post this fic. Fortunately with some actually competent and trustworthy adults as well as a few friends, Harry will make steady progress and not be stuck in a rut like he seems to be in the OTL. Oh, and there's pureblood politics and an aristocratic Wizengamot galore. I don't go too overboard with it, don't worry, especially not in the very first book. Professor Minerva Isobel McGonagall is the real OG. 'Nuff said. Minerva is introduced in Chapter One where she argues strenuously for breaking the law (le gasp!) rather than the pitiful acceptance she displays in canon about Harry's situation. She is furious that Albus overrides her. When we finally get to Chapter 4, her POV, she will be absolutely trembling with rage and even bring Snape around to , you know, allow him some much-needed character development. She takes Harry out of the Dursleys for good. She is a responsible adult. She is a competent adult. She gets Harry sorted out to the best of her abilities because she is, as I've said, the real OG. Minerva is a sucker for alliterations, uses hyperspecific language, and advanced grammar. As of writing this, I have not gotten to Chapter 4 (as Chapter 2 and probably 3 are a slog) but when I do, I will be cackling with joy. Minerva has a smaller role than she ought to in this fic, as I originally wrote her as Harry's eventual guardian. Nevertheless, she takes her initial promise to Harry seriously and finds him a nice home with lots of emotional support and the opportunity for juicy drama later on in the series. However she has an unintended effect on Harry's development as well as an intended effect: she is never late but does what is necessary. Meaning, she takes the malnourished boy to a bloody hospital instead of taking him to Diagon Alley immediately, which causes Harry to not meet Draco in Madam Malkins. She also sends Harry to the train early, meaning Harry doesn't meet Ron on the train. These two factors mean that Harry is completely unprejudiced when making his choice of house. HUZZAH! Also, did I mention that this fic will also have a deep dive into Transfiguration? Oh yeah, we've got Mentor!Minerva up in here. Draco Abraxas Malfoy in this book has a chance to redeem himself. He makes a poor first impression, as he did in the OTL, but with Harry in Slytherin, he has plenty of time and a definite reason to befriend Harry. Draco is the POV for Chapters 7 and 12. Curiously, these two chapters are rather insightful into how Draco was raised and also lays the groundwork for a potential (definitely happening here folks) transformation character arc a la Sirius Black or Prince Zuko. Kinda inspired by both, to be honest. Draco's parents don't abuse him though per se, so it'll be a lot more difficult than either Sirius or Zuko to change Draco's opinion. Harry will help, but he won't try and 'fix' Malfoy. I really hate media where one protagonist forces another to change for them. It's nothing like that. I haven't yet written Draco's chapters but plan to use short sentences like with Harry but use complex words that he may not fully understand as well as a lack of contractions. It will be very difficult for me not to get triggered by writing from Draco's perspective, but I have tried through Harry's observations to make him at least have some sympathetic elements if not to be a sympathetic character. In any case, he begins as pompous, prejudiced, and privileged in his dealings with Harry and the others but ends up (slightly) improved, introspective, and inconsistent by the end of it as Harry is a gentle nudge into all-out personality crisis for Draco. What are real friends? What is the difference between friendship and a chessboard? Draco begins to learn these lessons far sooner than he does in the OTL. His personality hasn't done a complete 180 as that would be too easy, but I hope that he does come off as changed. Hermione Jean Granger is the POV character for Chapter 11, though is introduced in earnest in Chapter 10. Her introduction isn't changed too much, and neither is her function in the story. However, she isn't as close with Harry as she is by the end of the OTL PS, as she remains in Gryffindor. Through Hermione we see the beginnings of inter-house cooperation if on a smaller scale (Harry's Slytherin friends tolerating her existence for Harry's sake). We also see Hogwarts from her perspective which I have never written from. Honestly Hermione will probably be the most difficult to write in terms of the POV characters as she can either know nothing at all and be absolutely clueless or know all of the things and solve the plot before Christmas, which would be very bad indeed. The balancing act will be difficult. In any case, Hermione's writing style is a blend between Harry and McGonagall's. She uses longer sentences than Harry but also uses Muggle slang. She does use contractions but also prefers hyper-specific language. Anyway Hermione is still a very bright individual and a very, very good friend of Harry's by the end of the first book. It's almost like she was the least changed, which could be a good or bad thing. Other [Noteworthy] Characters Rubeus Hagrid, who in this fic is an adorable bean who tries his best. The Dursleys, who are very scary and get their comeuppance later on. Severus Snape, forced to deal with his hatred early on because McGonagall suffers no idiocy. Garrick Ollivander, who imparts a pearl of wisdom that influences Harry profoundly. Neville Longbottom, who is grateful for Harry and Hermione's help. Pansy Parkinson, who takes up Ron's mantle as a font of wisdom and pettiness. Crabbe and Goyle, who are fragile souls. The Malfoys, who in this fic want Draco to just play the game as they expected him to. Harry's New Family, who are very much an open secret. Other POV characters may crop up or be switched along the way, but this is what I have planned initially. If you have questions about this, please feel free to ask!
Professor McGonagall Posted July 7, 2020 Author Posted July 7, 2020 An update: I've written just above 20k words so far so I'm well on my way. If I keep up this pace I will be at 75k on July 26. I don't know if it will be worth it or if anyone will actually read it, but I'm enjoying myself. Hopefully by next month I'll have it edited, polished, and ready for weekly installments on this archive and AO3. I'm still scrounging for a title. I'm not sure if I want to use the standard Harry Potter title format or something different. I'll ask for the thread title to be updated once I actually do have a title that I like. The first chapter went by so quickly. It all fit together relatively easily. Once I got Chapter 2 done, Chapter 3 was relatively easy to write. The ending that I had plotted out, one that was closer to canon didn't fit, so Harry ended up separated from the Dursleys rather than staying with them as I had planned. He's safe. Chapter 4 is interesting to write. I introduced the main professors at Hogwarts from the perspective of McGonagall, as well as introducing the main plot without (hopefully) giving the whole game away. There was an interesting opportunity for foreshadowing as well as character development for McGonagall, Snape, and Dumbledore. Plus, Minerva got to speak her mind, which is always a highlight . By the end of the chapter, Harry will roughly know what he knows in canon at that point (having figured out most of it and getting confirmation) with the audience knowing far more about the Order, about Dumbledore- stuff that will probably be hidden unintentionally or otherwise from Harry that we were only introduced to in the 5th, 6th, and 7th book. I'm not sure if revealing this information is a good thing or not, but it will be interesting to see Harry figure out what the audience already knows. Plus, it just felt necessary to clue the audience in about what was going on in Dumbledore's head. Severus' true intentions are still hidden though, and I think that's more juicy than knowing Dumbledore led a secret society :P. The conclusion of the Dursley storyline six books early is gratifying, though it may be anticlimactic to have them dealt with offscreen rather than the canon-like confrontation I had planned. I'm not sure how else to do it, to be honest. I don't want to force it, y'know? Hope you're all getting on well! Talk to you later.
Professor McGonagall Posted July 15, 2020 Author Posted July 15, 2020 Hey folks- it's update time. I am about 2k behind what I need to do for JulNo but so far I'm meeting my goal. I struggled a little bit with Harry's characterization but I still think there's a huge jump in his development from Chapters 3 to 5 that I'm not sure I can really fix without breaking the plot even more. I've already added an extra chapter, I'd hate to add more. If all of my chapters met my word count, I'd have enough for 7 chapters rather than 6 so far I guess that's good. I've finished rewriting chapters 2, 3, and 4 and finished Chapter 5 and 6. Anyhow, Harry gets his therapy, he gets pep talks. He's a shy person who hates crowds and attention. He did however and rightly so get very, very angry when he found out about house elves. I don't think it completely shattered his worldview, but I think for an eleven year old he's crushed. Up to that point, magic was perfect and wonderful and then BAM he finds out about an entire species being enslaved, and all sorts of stuff. McGonagall gives him the pep talks of all pep talks. I really didn't want to push Harry being a Slytherin but he's really starting to act like one. Ether I'm subconsciously writing the plot to fit the goal I wanted or the Harry characterization is such that he is leaning more into the 'thirst to prove himself' aspect of his personality more than anything. Who knows. So Harry knows a lot more than he does in canon at this point. We're at Chapter Four in PS but he already knows about Quidditch, the Ministry, house elves, family magic, Pureblood supremacy, goblins, Diagon Alley, Transfiguration, all this good stuff. I really don't know if I'm writing eleven year olds properly but the TERF definitely didn't, so... I bet if there are any readers out there for this, I'll get some feedback. I do hope there are readers. Have a pleasant week!
Professor McGonagall Posted August 1, 2020 Author Posted August 1, 2020 Well it's been a month since my last post. I figure I'd round out this nest by letting you all know that I'm nearly there, that I have four hours to complete the 75k I allotted myself. It's been crazy. In a month I've managed to write 12 chapters and begin on the thirteenth. In the timeline, I'm now at the first Quidditch match, so he's already friends with Hermione because that always happens in every timeline. Anyway, I've been trying to put out plot hole fires wherever I can and fight tooth and nail up to this point to wring as many words as possible. My proposed Chapter 8 was to take us through Draco's POV from his encounter with Harry to the Sorting, but he just talked so so much. I couldn't get him to shut up. So I split it into Chapter 8 and 9 and named both chapters The Long Game. I thought it fit. Anyway, there was a slight hiccup in Harry and Draco's relationship because we can't make it too easy and I thought it would be a natural thing. I'm not sure if it's good or not that it managed to resolve itself (kinda) within 3 chapters but this is a question for August Minerva, not July Minerva. July Minerva is tired and wishes to put this fic to bed for a long, long time and never see it again. August Minerva will feel quite differently after a quick nap. In any case, it was a real treat to write. I did include a legal bit of copyrighted material which may not blend in with my writing style, but I'll ask a beta to look it over. Maybe borrowing lines from the original books isn't necessary. Maybe it is. Some of them are bangers though, especially some excerpts from the movies. I'll be hard pressed to come up with such gems on my own. It's well within the limit. I'm also not too sure if I'm being too uneven with characterization. Looking at my last post, I was also concerned with that. Perhaps with some fresh eyes and reading it aloud I will solve a lot of the issues I'm having. So anyway, I'm now writing Chapter Thirteen of which I'll only do a bit of because my brain is shot and I need a break from this fic. Chapter Thirteen will be our first and only chapter told from Hermione's perspective. Chapter Thirteen was what was mentioned as 'Chapter 11' in my original post. I've also since changed her house after I was convinced that she'd make a fine Hufflepuff. Honestly, I prefer Hufflepuff Granger to Ravenclaw Granger. Ravenclaw Granger is, as they say, too mainstrream. If any of you are interested in helping me sort through this monstrosity, either a bit or one big chunk, please let me know. It really would be appreciated. In any event, this is Professor McGonagall slowly crawling my way to the finish line that looms ever closer. 1.5k or bust! Have a safe and pleasant weekend!
Professor McGonagall Posted August 3, 2020 Author Posted August 3, 2020 Just a quick note to say that I finished JulNo with only seconds to spare. Good job to everyone who completed and good job to those who gave it a good go!
Professor McGonagall Posted August 26, 2020 Author Posted August 26, 2020 Alright folks! My first chapter has been validated on the archives (link here). I've also uploaded the first four chapters there, and all of them are available on AO3 (link here). I'm very excited to be able to share this with y'all. My betas @Simplicius and @magemadi have been great helps with all of this. Thank you, you two! So far, I'm working on the fourteenth chapter out of a planned seventeen chapters and we're close to the end of Book 1. So far, I've been keeping to a two-chapter-a-week schedule, but this might slow way down as I'm now back at university.
inmyownlittlecorner Posted September 6, 2020 Posted September 6, 2020 Hi Blanche! This is a truly daring project! I admire you for taking on all seven books and bringing them to a higher level. Which characters are your favorite to write so far--and are they the ones you thought would be your favorite? Which ones are the most like you? The least? What do you think makes Harry a good Slytherin? And I just want to say that I love everything that you've written here about Minerva. She's amazing.
Professor McGonagall Posted September 6, 2020 Author Posted September 6, 2020 Hi Noelle! I think my favorite to write thus far have been Dumbledore and Snape. I wish that I understood Harry better, as he's the main POV character. I am pleased that Dumbledore is turning out so well. I only have a few scenes with Snape so far but it's been a joy to write him. Draco is also nice, but it's difficult to write him consistently- he has very conflicting goals in this series. The good thing about this project is that I can relate to most of my characters on some level. I think the characters I'm least like are Lucius Malfoy and Tarquinius Nott, Theodore's father. Both are concerned with the preservation of their legacy and their children's place in it, and it's all sort of squicky - but important - to write. Fortunately, both don't feature that heavily. I think in some respects I'm the most similar to Neville. He's got a clear moral vision but lacks the confidence to stand up for it. Harry in this fic has something to prove. He wants to be the best he can be as a sort of final revenge against the Dursleys treating him as second-rate. In that way, he's ambitious. He's also resourceful, recognizing the strengths and faults of his peers and accounting for them. While he's not the most social person, he's exceptionally close to the friends he does have. He also follows the rules to a point, realizing that some things require him to step outside of bounds- like tracking down Quirrell or saving Hagrid's career. Unfortunately McGonagall's role has been severely rewritten in this fic, given that I altered the adoption so much. She is still a fantastic character and will continue to be a positive influence for Harry. I hope to do more with her in the next book. =========================================================================================================================== As I've said several times in the Discord, I am struggling to complete this fic. I'm not sure if it's writer's block or if there's a lot less plot than I realized, but I have been chiseling away at Chapter Fifteen for a while now. I'll read over stuff to see if I am missing any plot threads. In other news, the Slughorn smut for Tasha's challenge will be titled A Night on the Town. It will be set in 1927.
Professor McGonagall Posted September 13, 2020 Author Posted September 13, 2020 Hello Victoria! [@victoria_anne] So far, I've plotted out two books. The Hidden Prince follows the events of Philosopher's Stone pretty closely, so initially I had transcribed the canon events, noting dates and different plot threads. I also came up with a list of goals and alterations that I knew that I wanted to make (Harry gets away from the Dursleys, is sorted into Slytherin, and is friends with Draco) as well as the worldbuilding stuff (adults are competent, the Wizengamot is an aristocratic Parliament) and any general fixes that sprang up (some alternate Sorting, different dormitory layouts, an actual schedule). Once I had those goals and alterations and the canon events, I went to work. The False Heir (Book Two) was a little different as it built on the foundations of the first. It first came up as a series of questions for myself, such as how would Lucius react to Draco being friends with Harry who associates with Muggleborns. I still put up some of the canon plot line but naturally most of it was useless. Harry hasn't really been close with any of the Weasleys so wouldn't go to the Burrow, for example. So Book 2 largely has the same end result but a different journey. Prisoner of Azkaban has been obliterated since most of the intrigue in the canon book has been resolved. It'll be interesting for me to see what I have left to work with for Book 3. In essence, I try to use canon as much or as little as it makes sense to. For instance, Book 4 will feature an international tournament of some caliber while Book 6 will focus on Horcruxes. It's all sort of nebulous right now. To be honest I've hit a bit of a wall with the first book. I haven't written myself into a corner yet but it's a very near thing. Harry nearly gave away the whole store talking to Dumbledore towards the climax of the book and I didn't know how to resolve that while giving a satisfying (canon-like) ending. I won't have that problem really again except maybe with the second book. I have to remind myself that I do like what I'm writing and I do want to see this first book completed, but honestly the best thing is to just work on it a little day after day. Maybe once I start on the next book I'll throw myself into it like I did during July but at this point I'm feeling pretty fatigued. You know, I don't, really. This has taken up a lot of my brainspace. I have had plunnies of course (a Ginny/Draco comes to mind), but other than A Night on the Town I haven't really worked on anything else. Maybe it's why I feel so stuck. I can't say I've read a whole lot on the archives since I've been back but I've beta'ed quite a lot I think. I've done an OF Tudor mystery, an HP noir, I've helped plot out a Next Gen fic, that sort of thing. I haven't really read anything on the archives. On AO3 however, I've been reading a LOT of Drarry and a few other things. Sunrise in Exile is an MCU IronStrange fic that is particularly good. I started ALiTS back in 2016. Like this, the goal was for me to write a fic that I wanted to read. The two are vastly different on a number of things, but the overall point of it was the same: I wanted a fic that I would pick up and enjoy. Actually, I think none of the original fic survived. Which is good - It ought to remain that way. I don't think I have the strength to do another writing challenge. JulNo's 75k extravaganza nearly punched my card. That was really horrible. I mean, it was good, but I felt dead afterwards. I'm still feeling it even two months later. If I did do NaNo, I would have to pace myself better. So, the jury's still out on that.
inmyownlittlecorner Posted September 13, 2020 Posted September 13, 2020 I'm really looking forward to seeing how Harry's being in Slytherin changes both Harry and Draco. And Snape for that matter. I think you've got a good plan as far as just writing a little every day to get through the block. I've only done one full 50K NaNo so far, and I also felt like I died afterwards, so I'm not sure if it's always worth the push to get a ton of words. You did a really beautiful job with your Slughorn fic, and I hope that there will be a sequel when you're feeling less tired. I have great faith that you will write yourself out of that corner as far as your WIP goes. I don't have any questions right now, I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoy your writing
inmyownlittlecorner Posted September 14, 2020 Posted September 14, 2020 @Professor McGonagall I made you a picspam for A Night on the Town I hope you like it!
Professor McGonagall Posted September 14, 2020 Author Posted September 14, 2020 I LOVE IT. After I get The Hidden Prince finished, I'll make a gift myself!
Professor McGonagall Posted October 1, 2020 Author Posted October 1, 2020 I'm back at last with an update. I am nearly finished with The Hidden Prince. I have written the last chapter which has a good heap of tooth rotting fluff that is making me reexamine my life choices since I never knew I was capable of it. Anyhow at present the manuscript has 104,481 words. It is longer than Philosopher's Stone. I am planning to add a new chapter in the middle from Snape's POV to take care of some niggling plot threads and to give myself an opportunity to write from his POV too. Basically, it's after Draco gets caught with the Remembrall and Snape's reprimanding him. Over 5.5k words of that. Beautiful. This has been nearly my entire life for a good four months now. One part of me is relieved to be nearing completing, but another is sad that it's nearly over. I have been haranguing people to read it and give me feedback because, really, I am very proud of myself and want to be spread far and wide. I apologize here and now to everyone I've DMed about it. I'm just so excited by it. As far as the future is concerned, I am going to take a break from writing this series for the month of October. I've signed up myself for NaNo and plan to do that for the second book in the series. Hopefully it will give me enough time to grieve, process, and do other things I need to do beyond fanfiction. Plus, October is my birthday month, so it'll be me month too! Very excited. Anyhow, the last line of the final chapter of the Hidden Prince, that will be released on November 18, reads: "The Dursleys couldn’t touch him now." (See you later, champs!)
Professor McGonagall Posted January 5, 2021 Author Posted January 5, 2021 I'm back! Truth is, I never left, but I have been quite... preoccupied. Not with writing, of course, because that would be too easy. However, I have made significant progress in outlining a now 103 chapter saga set in the Elder Scrolls Universe. I also haven't touched A False Heir since November, and probably won't until... maybe February? But that's not all! I have written fluff, much to my own personal surprise. It's called A Dinner for Three, it's set after the war and features a polyamorous relationship between Pansy, Draco, and Harry. Very cute, if I may say so myself. Rating is Teen, no advisories. Dinner for Three - AO3
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