Name: prideofprewett (Signed) · Date: 08 Mar 2021 10:13 AM · For: Station Wagon

Hi Renee! Here for your review request! <3

 

I think you do a great job at continuing to show us the progression of Lily and Petunia's relationship and how it has the ability to dissolve. You start this out with some great childlike imagery: Lily making drawings on the window and Petunia playing with a mood ring. They're both kind of already existing in their own heads and by extension their own worlds. 

 

We also get a glimpse into the unsettling hierarchy that exists within the Wizarding World with Severus' remarks. And of course, he's only a child too, so he doesn't know the larger world yet and has lived in an isolated area. But I think we see Petunia's internalization of these ideas and how easy it is for her to resent her sister because there is already so much difference between them. 

 

Dumbledore's comments to her might sound all well and good to an adult, but I think adolescents in general crave concrete ideas. So I can see why she didn't find that comforting. And her lashing out to Lily in the end just shows that she's keeping SO MUCH internalized because of pride and because of jealousy and it's sad to see these emotions eat her up on the inside. 

 

I think you do a great job at making Petunia an empathetic character and you give us enough clues that we can see (in some ways) how she ends up being who she ends up being in canon. Of course, other things she does are unforgivable, but that's another discussion for another day. 

 

I also think Lily is doing the best she can at age eleven to keep the relationship with her sister. I remember at Petunia's age, I started pulling away from my younger sibling, simply because of the age difference. So I can imagine this magical/non-magical element creating even a larger chasm between them. And I think the way you're showing it here is definitely believable. You can tell you work with children and have an understanding on their development in reading this. ;)

 

Another great chapter. But yes, sad too. But I think that also speaks to your ability as a writer to drum up emotions inside of us. 

 

Well done!

 

<3 Courtney 

Name: Crystal (Anonymous) · Date: 23 Apr 2020 08:54 PM · For: Station Wagon

Awww man.  I hate this. I mean, I love the story, and the chapter! But I hate this feeling between these two when it doesn't have to be this way.  And Dumbledore's words stung a bit, because we know what's coming for Lily and Petunia's going to spend her whole life envying her for magic that will eventually cause her death.  You do SUCH a great job of making me feel what the characters are feeling here and I LOVE the mood ring, that's a great touch.  They're still SO close to saying what they both think here, particularly Petunia, but instead of choosing honesty she's going to choose anger.  It's SO sad to think how close they were, and how this is a major turning point. :( It is SUCH a good story though!  

Name: potionspartner (Signed) · Date: 02 Feb 2020 01:08 AM · For: Station Wagon

Hi Renee, I’m here for the CMDC, round #2

Petunia is very correct that it is a great injustice that Lily is magical and she isn’t. I guess she’s finding out the hard way that life isn’t fair and you just do the best that you can. My heart really goes out to Petunia. She tried so hard to be grown up and write a letter to Dumbleore about the injustice. While his response is as polite as it good be, I am sure it was a huge blow to her ego. Those of us who know the future can certainly find irony in his letter since magic is what leads Lily to an early death.

 

Both Severus and her mother make good arguments. Lily will change in many ways but in other ways she won’t--all part of growing up (with a magical twist of course.) You did a nice job showing Lily’s confusion about her sister and her own her adventure. One can feel the excitement but fear that she is experienced and Petunia’s anger. . . Justified or not. The scene in the car was definitely the beginning of a rift between the two sisters.

Name: VaguelyCreativeName (Signed) · Date: 23 Jan 2020 09:10 PM · For: Station Wagon

Hello Renee,

 

I’m back for another House Cup Event! This review is for Round 1 of the Center for Magical Disease Control!

The scene in the car is honestly so heart-breaking, I don’t know where to start – all of the little details are so beautifully painful, I especially loved Lily painting on the window. It’s such an innocent little moment, but you’ve packed it so full of meaning that it really conveys the dense atmosphere in the car, if that makes sense. “The home, the heart, the flower, gone in a flash” This sentence especially hit me really hard; not only is Lily about to lose the home (and, as it looks at this point, her relationship with her sister), together with the remarks about Dumbledore’s letters and Petunia potentially having been dealt the better hand this moment feels especially poignant, and reminds me of another moment when the life Lily knew would end in a flash – I mean, obviously Dumbledore couldn’t have known about Voldemort and the prophecy at this point, but, God, he really is creepy…

 

I feel so sorry for both of the girls – I think that is something that really stands out in all of the chapters, but this one especially, that you portray both sisters as flawed, but the reader can still empathise with and feel sorry for both of them. Lily is anxious about leaving her family, and really craves to be comforted by her sister, but in trying to make amends, she brings up precisely what Petunia fears most, even if Lily prefaces it with “I don’t think”, all Petunia can probably hear is “it makes me better than you”, so of course she gets angry and defensive, so I can’t really fault her for her behaviour either, because we know how keenly she feels the sting of being left behind… It would be so much easier to just demonise Petunia as the mean, jealous older sister, like we see in the books, but I really love how you’ve portrayed both of the girls as complex and flawed people!

 

Much love,

Julia

Name: Felpata_Lupin (Signed) · Date: 02 Feb 2019 11:31 AM · For: Station Wagon

Hi, Renee! I'm here for our swap! :)

Aww... poor Lily... poor Tuney... it's so sad that they have to separate... and it's so sad that they are fighting over it like this... :( I can see both POVs... I can even understand Petunia calling Lily selfish... although, really, who would renounce to something like this? It's not just the excitement of magic, it's the fact that Lily would renounce to a part of herself... and yet, in a way, she's renouncing to a part of herself by leaving for Hogwarts... She would climb aboard the train and it would carry her away from this life and into a different one, and she would never, ever be able to go back. Not really. Not in the ways that mattered. There is something so true and heartbreaking about this paragraph... I'm just very conflicted about so many things right now...

I loved that little excerpt from Dumbledore's reply to Petunia. And once again, it gives some food for thought... is Lily the lucky one? It's complicated. Especially when you think about what's coming to her in a few years... she's entering a world at war (or that will be at war soon) and as part of a marginalized group of people... okay, I know it's a bit early to think about this, but it kind of makes me wonder if it wouldn't have been easier for her to just live a simple muggle life... (sorry if I got into depressing stuff...)

In any case, I really wish that Petunia wouldn't be so stubborn and resentful. It's true, Lily is the one who's leaving, and I understand why Petunia is hurt, but Lily is at least trying, she's at least apologizing, and Petunia's behaviour is absolutely unfair... argh, this is so complicated!

Great chapter as always, you are so good at capturing the two sisters and their feelings!

I'll move to the next one now!

Love you,

Chiara

Author's Response:

Chiara!! <33

 

I LOVE your point that Lily would be denying part of herrself and her own identity if she didn't go to Hogwarts. Yes! It is such an unfair thing for Petunia to ask. Because Lily could theoretically not go to Hogwarts - but she can't not be magical.

 

Writing anything in Dumbledore's voice is so scary omg. =P This is why I only wrote a tiny bit of the letter lol

 

There is definitely so much irony here, knowing that ultimately Lily is right... she suffers far more than Petunia does. 

 

THANK YOU for this review!!

xoxo Renee

Name: justawillowtree (Signed) · Date: 16 Mar 2018 03:29 PM · For: Station Wagon

Ohh, Renee, my heart.

 

I think Petunia returning to taking out her anger on Lily like this is...saddening. She calls Lily “selfish” for wishing to explore this vast new world, even when Lily is pleading with her to give her a proper good-bye, when it’s really Petunia who’s being selfish by ruining Lily’s excitement and happiness. Obviously Lily gets hurt by this, and that broke my heart.

 

I was really glad you chose to show a snippet of Dumbledore’s letter! It was very well-written, and sounded exactly as I’d imagine Dumbledore to sound in writing. His advice was sound, as well (though Snape obviously didn’t think so lmao), and it was rather prophetic in nature. I mean, because of the magical world, Lily dies a tragically young death, and Petunia continues living her well-off life with a husband she’s happy with (even if no one else likes him) and a son she dotes over.

 

Last chapter we saw into Petunia’s mind, her personal thoughts and desires, and how powerfully she wants to be like her sister. And I did truly feel sorry for her, and I do still, but the way she chooses to express her frustration, by just making Lily feel more and more miserable about herself is seriously a sign of bad character. In this chapter, Petunia’s petulance makes Lily wish for a brief moment that she doesn’t have magic at all (and it’s actually one of my favorite lines in this chapter: “No dandelions blushing pink at her command, no vengeful pimples showing up on mean girls’ faces at school, no owls leaving streaks of white on the front walk” – beautiful) and that’s just a horrible way for an older sister to act.

 

Lily has a very good point about Petunia. She’s older, so she should be more mature, more understanding, instead of dumping her messes on Lily and leaving them there.

 

You handle the progression of their relationship so so well. It’s honestly the saddest thing looking back at the first few chapters and seeing how their relationship has deteriorated since then, but you do it perfectly. <3

 

~Eva

Author's Response:

Thank you so much, Eva <33

Name: nott theodore (Signed) · Date: 12 Dec 2017 06:00 PM · For: Station Wagon

Oh my goodness, Renee.  This was such a short chapter, but it really packed a punch.  You managed to show so much in so few words, and capture this moment which is really the physical acknowledgement of the emotional tensions and the divisions that have been building between Lily and Petunia for a little while now.

 

I thought it was really telling and poignant that you opened this chapter with Lily's point of view, and she's contemplating what lies ahead of her.  There's a real sense of loneliness at the start of this chapter, which is even more upsetting when we realise that she's sat in the back of the car with her sister right by her.

 

It's so much for Lily - and Petunia - to process at this point in time.  They're so young, and I think it's natural for the jealousies and tensions to surface here because there's often that sense of competitiveness, or even just wanting to be the same as their siblings.  

 

It's sweet of Lily's mum to reassure her when she's worried about going away to Hogwarts, but it will change her - it's such a time of enormous change anyway, and it's going to be even more noticeable when she's only able to come home once a term.  But Lily's right that she would be mad not to take the opportunity - and Petunia knows it, too.

 

Still, I felt so sorry for both of them here - there's so much distance between them, and the physical distance will represent that too, soon.  It's so sad to think of </3

 

Sian :)

Author's Response:

Everything you said about this chapter is exactly what I wanted it to convey, thank you so much! <3333

Name: Crumple-Horned Snorkack (Anonymous) · Date: 22 Jul 2017 02:48 PM · For: Station Wagon

Greetings from the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, out for another short adventure into the internet as a holiday from my months-long hibernation in the boreal forest of Sweden. How fortunate that I discovered this story!

You do such a wonderful job of showing how the division between the two sisters wasn't really anyone's fault in particular, just the result of a lot of jealousy and feeling left out and other things that are perfectly understandable to humans of that age. And the feeling is not limited to humans, in fact. My BFF the Loch Ness Monster is always telling me of the beauty of under water in the Loch, but Snorkacks aren't very good swimmers. Alas.

Poor Petunia, though, writing to the headmaster of Hogwarts and not being allowed in because she's not a witch. I would tell her she's welcome to stay with the Snorkacks in the northern forest here but she may not be able to find us, so I don't know how helpful it would be. It makes me sad that she said such mean things to her sister right before Lily left for school, because it's going to be a long time before they'll see each other next. And it's not Lily's fault that Lily just happened to be lucky enough to have magic. But of course it is going to change her, going to school. It's very sad how this is all turning out, but very believable, and no one is the villain. Both characters are perfectly understandable in how they're feeling.

This is such a wonderful story! But now, I must leave as I promised I'd meet Nessie for tea.

Author's Response:

<3