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Reigniting The Spark?


BLONDEbehaviour

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Hello fellow fan fic dwellers, it has been a mighty long time. I apologise in advance, this is a little rambly and a lotta personal, but it felt like the right place to put it out to the world :) 

It is so incredibly heartwarming to see many of the members I remember so dearly still on these forums and writing and the new members that have popped up. 

For those who may not remember me, or who don't even know me, I am Grace, aka BLONDEbehaviour (oh to be 14 again when I created THAT username), aka bowandarrows, aka mostly known nowadays as serendipity or seren across most non-professional profiles. Back in HPFF days I would validate from time to time, loved the forums, and moved over here with the plan to re-build and complete my major stories when the other site shut down.

But if I'm honest, I haven't given as much time to these forums and archives as I could have after the closing down of HPFF. The transition between the two came at a time when I was at a major life, writing and fan fiction crossroads. The collective change of so much was quite a shock to the system, so I took a step back.

I didn't expect the step back to take so long. Or be so all-encompassing to my writing and creativity.

2017 was the last time I wrote anything that wasn't related to work or my business. No stories, or poems, even blogposts of the like. Gosh, even writing creative stuff for work or goal-setting felt like too much sometimes. I couldn't even look at what I had created, and couldn't even open the writing apps. It was like someone had poured all my writing motivation into the dirt. I would still have creative moments or ideas where my mind would spark with new plots, but I could not push through the barrier of moving ideas to tangible words.

Since then, and it feels almost silly to say (in fact, it feels completely ridiculous to say, but here I am) I've felt hollow. I could not get the words and stories out of my head, so they rang inside me like an echo and made everything else louder.
Events, issues, and fears that I would usually have used my creative side, particularly my writing, to process weren't getting the attention they needed. And, getting a little deep and probably a little cliche 😅, not processing them in writing has eroded me in some ways. 

In the last 6-12 months I've grown a lot around my apprehension on writing, so much so that the draw to get it out of my head, to create again is louder than the voice telling me not to. I'm going back, in a way to the very beginning of my writing journey and starting from scratch. To rebuild the muscle memory. To find some peace, fun, and pleasure in the creative process again. To remember what it means to write with freedom. For me, that initial creative pull has always been quality stories full stop, but my initial writing pull I have always attributed to fan fiction. When I found my first fanfic at 11, I had pages and pages of notebooks full of stories.

So to take one step in the right direction, I am jumping back onto the forums, chatting again, reading & reviewing again. The first step beyond that is to get my fics back (I had to do some digging for a few of them, some will remain hidden forever 😂) and read what I have done - an important move. Then I'm going to rewrite what I have, updating what needs to be updated, and continuing with the stories that still have so much left to include (I'm looking at you, Memory Book), and hopefully, eventually, I will create new stories both fan fiction and non-fan fiction. Watch this space!

Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for reading 😊 If you'd like to reconnect, or just connect - especially if you have felt similar to the above, please reach out! If you have any tips on how to reignite the spark, let me know. And keep an eye out for some new Dramione content on Fanfic talk hopefully soon!

Much love to you all,

Grace

Edited by BLONDEbehaviour

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crimson quill

Posted

Hiya!

It's so lovely to see you back, I think I was joining as you were taking a stepback but username is hard forget. I'm crimson quill (a few of us have changed our usernames temporarily for our reviewing event thats just ended) You can also request to change your username here if you feel another name suits you better.

I'm so glad that you've found your way back to us no matter how long it's taken. I think your story will seem familiar to a few people around here. There have been a few people recently making reappearances after a long absences so you're not the only one.

I think this community will hopefully provide a happy and supportive area to recapture some of your old mojo! We've worked over the last couple of years particularly to become more multi fandom and a place for original fiction too hence why don't have hp houses anymore. Still plenty of potter fic around too though. 

Thank you for sharing your personal story with us and welcome back! 🩷

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WriteYourHeartOut

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Welcome back! There's actually a few of us recently with similar stories, me included! I only just returned in late November after five years away, and it's been so great to be writing again, so definitely give yourself this chance again and lean into it, it's worth it getting back into all this! So create, create! Create anything at all! And try not to worry this first time back about how good you think it is, just post something so you can get some feedback and some community again, and you'll feel the warmth of returning right away!

 

(Also, I swear I remember at least starting Memory Book and really enjoying it, for what it's worth! <3)

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VaguelyCreativeName

Posted

Welcome back! I'm Julia, I don't think we've met before, I was never active on the hpff forums. But I've just recently (in February) come back after over 3 years away, and everything you've said about hollowness and the daunting nature of the blank page really strikes a chord - I've felt much the same way, until not writing became too much to bear, and scarier than writing, in a way.

But I'm working on getting those old muscles back, and all the encouragement I've received here, and all the lovely reviews have been such a help in staying motivated, and in finding that joy again, so I'm sure it'll be the same for you! Best of luck with your writing projects, both old and new! ❤️

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grumpy cat

Posted

hi grace! i'm kris, we don't know each other because i wasn't active on hpff and haven't properly written fic until 2018 😅 but it's nice to meet you!

i understand the hollow feeling when not writing - it's the thing that follows me around during my absentish periods (which have been more common during the past two years sadly) but hpft has always welcomed me back and so i hope you'll feel that sense of community again here with us :stitch-2:

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dreamshadow

Posted

Hi Grace, I'm Jill! I remember your username, but I'm not sure if you remember me - I was dreamgazer220 back on ye olde site and am now more commonly known as dreamshadow outside of review events. It's so nice to see you come back, and I hope you find yourself at home here ❤️ 

Good luck on your writing journey!

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Lost_Robin

Posted (edited)

Hi, I'm Robin! I don't think our paths ever crossed before (I was on MNFF with the same username a very, very long time ago and left fandom until I came here), but I definitely feel that! I took a very long break from fanfic in high school/college, and I found the environment here really welcoming, especially for someone who had been out of fanfic circles for a while. I don't really have any tips on getting back in the habit, but I always find the challenges that get hosted here really fun, and they've been a really good source of inspiration for me. Welcome back!

Edited by Lost_Robin
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RonsGirlFriday

Posted

Hi Grace, I'm Melanie! I'm not sure if we ever knew one another on HPFF -- I was RonsGirlFriday there as well (the Tuesday thing in my username right now is just for our time travel review event :P ) and I was active on that site from about 2009 to 2012. I know that hollow feeling that comes from not writing or creating something. I'm glad you found your way back to us and look forward to getting to know you! :stitch-2:

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BLONDEbehaviour

Posted

16 hours ago, quill and ted said:

Hiya!

It's so lovely to see you back, I think I was joining as you were taking a stepback but username is hard forget. I'm crimson quill (a few of us have changed our usernames temporarily for our reviewing event thats just ended) You can also request to change your username here if you feel another name suits you better.

I'm so glad that you've found your way back to us no matter how long it's taken. I think your story will seem familiar to a few people around here. There have been a few people recently making reappearances after a long absences so you're not the only one.

I think this community will hopefully provide a happy and supportive area to recapture some of your old mojo! We've worked over the last couple of years particularly to become more multi fandom and a place for original fiction too hence why don't have hp houses anymore. Still plenty of potter fic around too though. 

Thank you for sharing your personal story with us and welcome back! 🩷

Hi, crimson quill! Lovely to see you again, thank you very much for the kind words 🥰 

Haha, I don't know if remembering my username is a good or bad thing 😂 considering I left my my blonde hair back in my teens, it definitely feels redundant now!

I feel very joyful to be called back here and welcomed so nicely. The site and the forums looks so great, you have all done a wonderful job at making it feel inclusive and welcome. I'm looking forward to hanging with you all and finding my way again 😊

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BLONDEbehaviour

Posted

16 hours ago, Agent Michael Scarn said:

Welcome back! There's actually a few of us recently with similar stories, me included! I only just returned in late November after five years away, and it's been so great to be writing again, so definitely give yourself this chance again and lean into it, it's worth it getting back into all this! So create, create! Create anything at all! And try not to worry this first time back about how good you think it is, just post something so you can get some feedback and some community again, and you'll feel the warmth of returning right away!

 

(Also, I swear I remember at least starting Memory Book and really enjoying it, for what it's worth! <3)

Thank you WYHO, I am very excited to be back :D It's very reassuring to hear that it has been a similar kind of situation for others, we must all be feeling a calling for it! And thank you - Leaning in, creating and just putting things out there is exactly my plan - not think too much about what it should be, and just do. Find the fun and connection in it all again 😊

That's very heartwarming, thank you! I have started reading what I have done and have many ideas, really looking forward to getting my teeth into TMB once I'm there.

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BLONDEbehaviour

Posted

13 hours ago, VaguelyCreativeName said:

Welcome back! I'm Julia, I don't think we've met before, I was never active on the hpff forums. But I've just recently (in February) come back after over 3 years away, and everything you've said about hollowness and the daunting nature of the blank page really strikes a chord - I've felt much the same way, until not writing became too much to bear, and scarier than writing, in a way.

But I'm working on getting those old muscles back, and all the encouragement I've received here, and all the lovely reviews have been such a help in staying motivated, and in finding that joy again, so I'm sure it'll be the same for you! Best of luck with your writing projects, both old and new! ❤️

Hey Julia, so nice to meet you! Thank you for your kind words and sharing! It's been very uplifting to read these comments and understand others have had a similar experience. And yes I know what you mean about how not writing was worse than writing... that's very much where I had gotten to!

That's awesome to hear about the community and encouragement you found here - I am determined to make the most as I find my feet and connect and share as well. Best of luck to you with yours as well! 🥰

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BLONDEbehaviour

Posted

11 hours ago, grumpy cat said:

hi grace! i'm kris, we don't know each other because i wasn't active on hpff and haven't properly written fic until 2018 😅 but it's nice to meet you!

i understand the hollow feeling when not writing - it's the thing that follows me around during my absentish periods (which have been more common during the past two years sadly) but hpft has always welcomed me back and so i hope you'll feel that sense of community again here with us :stitch-2:

Kris! Lovely to meet you! 🥰 

It's scary how quickly that absence or lack of writing can creep up on you, right? Not having communities such as these attributes to it, too, so it's so nice to have a place like FFT to return to 😊 Thank you for welcoming me back so warmly!

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BLONDEbehaviour

Posted

2 hours ago, dreamthief said:

Hi Grace, I'm Jill! I remember your username, but I'm not sure if you remember me - I was dreamgazer220 back on ye olde site and am now more commonly known as dreamshadow outside of review events. It's so nice to see you come back, and I hope you find yourself at home here ❤️ 

Good luck on your writing journey!

Hey Jill! I do remember the dreamgazer username.. it feels like so long ago, haha! Thank you for your kind words, I'm happy to be back here 🥰

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BLONDEbehaviour

Posted

2 hours ago, Lost_Robin said:

Hi, I'm Robin! I don't think our paths ever crossed before (I was on MNFF with the same username a very, very long time ago and left fandom until I came here), but I definitely feel that! I took a very long break from fanfic in high school/college, and I found the environment here really welcoming, especially for someone who had been out of fanfic circles for a while. I don't really have any tips on getting back in the habit, but I always find the challenges that get hosted here really fun, and they've been a really good source of inspiration for me. Welcome back!

Hey Robin, nice to meet you 🥰 That's so great to hear! How important is it to find your people, especially when it's with a creative outlet? It SO damn easy to listen to the negative in your head when you're exploring the journey alone. 

I've been exploring the challenges and such that have been going on, they look so fun! ❤️

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BLONDEbehaviour

Posted

3 hours ago, RonsGirlTuesday said:

Hi Grace, I'm Melanie! I'm not sure if we ever knew one another on HPFF -- I was RonsGirlFriday there as well (the Tuesday thing in my username right now is just for our time travel review event :P ) and I was active on that site from about 2009 to 2012. I know that hollow feeling that comes from not writing or creating something. I'm glad you found your way back to us and look forward to getting to know you! :stitch-2:

Hii Melanie! I recognise your username but I'm not sure if we connected at all on HPFF - lovely to meet you! Thank you and to all of you for the super warm welcome, I'm so looking forward to getting to know you too :D It truly seems like a wonderful community, something I have been looking for 🥰

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