APRIL 8TH, 2019 | THE GREATEST SHIPS TO EVER SINK

Welcome to another installment of the Prefects' biweekly blog series! This time, we're looking at some of those ships that people love to, well, love, but also to sink. Read on to see how we rated some classics and some new ones from fandoms outside of Harry Potter! Let us know what other ships you think are great to sink!

 Ship Name: Bellamort
Characters Involved: Bellatrix Lestrange x Lord Voldemort
Ship Rating (out of 5 ) :
How the Ship Sunk: With Bellatrix's fangirl-like tendencies for one Dark Lord, it could be foreseen from the beginning that this ship was a bad idea.  Sure, at first Voldemort loved the hero-worship and never-ending amounts of praise, but after a while, Bellatrix's obsessive ways was beginning to wear him out. While the saying might be, "Behind every evil, twisted, sadistic man-like entity is an equally evil, twisted, sadistic woman," the toxic fumes billowing from the relationship were, in fact, flammable. And Bellatrix, like any strong female character would do, lit the match to sink the ship, herself. Nobody denies Bellatrix Lestrange. Not even the Dark Lord.

Ship Name: Doctorfez
Characters Involved: The Eleventh Doctor x his Fez
Ship Rating (out of 5 ) :
How the Ship Sunk: People said it couldn't be done, but those people simply weren't working hard enough at imagining it. The Doctor has a special relationship that is unique to each of his companions, and the one with his fez is special like no other. A fez is a particularly difficult hat to care for, but the Doctor ensures it is always well-loved by throwing it through time portals and wearing it in the most inopportune times. Though his human companions may dislike his love affair with the fez, he doesn't let that sway him from his love, and the fez could only hope to say the same if it could talk. This love is one that is limited to the Eleventh Doctor's time, but all broken hearts can be mended quite readily, and he doesn't forget his dear old fez even in the future, often looking back on their time together with fondness. 

Ship Name: Emmalatte (TGWDLM - Team Starkid)
Characters Involved: Emma x latte
Ship Rating (out of 5 ) : 
How the Ship Sunk: This ship looked promising as the show was being promoted before its YouTube release, with Emma, the barista, making coffee for multiple other characters in the show. Alas, it was not meant to last what with her coworkers sabotaging her and the latte's relationship by poisoning it! Getting her usual cup of coffee just isn't the same when it's been poisoned with alien goo that infects people and makes them turn into musical monsters. Nevertheless, Emma still loves her lil' latte hottie, and the latte still lovers her lil' cute barista! Perhaps after the musical invasion is over, they can spend some quality time together outside of Hatchetfield! 

Ship Name: Drapple
Characters Involved: Draco Malfoy x Apple
Ship Rating (out of 5 ) : 
How the Ship Sunk: Like with any ship, Drapple isn't without it's share of controversies, but this ship was hot and heavy from the get go. But for a ship so steamy and might I say tantalizing, where did it go wrong? Now the main issue for Drapple, is are they truly compatible with one another? One half of this iconic pair is literally a fruit. Now, besides the stigma on cross-species relationships, think of the conflicting lifespans of each individual involved. Must Draco live out his life, and watch his partner wither away in just a short period of time. Or what if he gets hungry, and mistakenly eats his one true love. So while this ship is a ship meant for the ages, it is inevitable for it to avoid the iceberg. And would Draco really move over to make room on that door for his beloved apple?

Ship Name: Javerus
Characters Involved: James Potter x Severus Snape
Ship Rating (out of 5 ) :
How the Ship Sunk: While opposites attract, hate and love are two sides of the same coin, and we love those love/hate relationships, these two hotheads are capable of burning down even the strongest of steel-lined cruisers. Whether it's jealousy, pranking gone awry (very awry), show-boating, or just plain being an ass, the pair is sure to set this ship ablaze at some point, which is why we've dubbed this vessel the S.S. Powderkeg! Besides, it won't take long for James and Severus to realize that they're both still hopelessly in love with Lily Evans, anyway. Hate-turned-love is one of those timeless cliches, but this particular ship will by lying along the ocean floor for a long, long time. 

Ship Name: Quirrellmort (AVPM - Team Starkid)
Characters Involved: Quirrell x Voldemort
Ship Rating (out of 5 ) :
How the Ship Sunk: All these two wanted to be was best friends attached at the back! They're different as can be, but they know they work well together. Quirrell loves to read books and plotting flowers in his garden, while Voldemort loves snakes and plotting to kill. They spend their evenings tossing and turning because they can't agree on who has to sleep on their tummy. Quirrell feels like its a comedy being bound to Voldemort; Voldy is happy as a squirrel being bound with Mr. Quirrell. And they can agree on at least one thing: they'll lead him to the slaughter and they'll murder Harry Potter!

Ship Name: Numberlores
Characters Involved: Number Five x Dolores
Ship Rating (out of 5 ) :
How the Ship Sunk: Some people may not think this ship has a leg stand on, but it’s your typical boy-meets-mannequin-and-falls-in-love affair.  Dolores may come off as fake to some people, but just look at that smile! A little on the quiet side with a penchant for sequins, she makes the perfect companion for Number Five, young or old (or somewhere in between). He may not be on the top of anyone else’s list, but he will always be #1 on hers. This love has the capacity to outlast the apocalypse (as long as plastic really isn’t biodegradable). 

Ship Name: Dramione
Characters Involved: Draco Malfoy x Hermione Granger
Ship Rating (out of 5 ) :
How the Ship Sunk: This is a ship that everyone loves to hate or loves to love! Some people just can't see it between the pureblood supremacist and the muggleborn lioness. Others enjoy them because they are the top two students in their year, so who can resist all the opportunity for that antagonistic, academic banter. Furthermore, the heavy use of classic tropes like Head Boy/Head Girl (especially during the supposed Eighth Year), Marriage Laws, Ministryfics, and Veela!Draco. The opportunities are boundless with this couple and perhaps that's why people love to ship it and to sink it. Enemies-to-Lovers with Draco and Hermione is the barest of dips into the murky depths this ship brings. The real question is, do you dare enter these waters with voracious, angsty writers lurking underneath the surface? 

Ship Name: Legriel (PrinceGuard)
Characters Involved: Legolas Greenleaf x Tauriel 
Ship Rating (out of 5  ) :   
How the Ship Sunk: It's an adorable tale -- the Prince of the Woodland Realm (Mirkwood) and the Captain of the Elven Guard of the Woodland Realm (Mirkwood), a Sindarin elf and a Wood-elf, beating all odds (and defying King Thranduil's annotated dislike for the ship) and becoming a Middle Earth power couple! The pairing is built on a level of badassery that could have probably conquered any foes, but there are some inherent flaws in the ship designs that don't bode well long-term. While Legolas' interest in her was made clear during the Hobbit movies, it's pretty clear that Tauriel had a love interest of her own -- Kíli, the Dwarf. After the Tauriel x Kíli ship was tragically destroyed (and destroyed all of us with it), it's pretty clear through Tauriel and Thranduil's conversation that Tauriel is going to have a difficult time loving ever again. With the devastating loss of her only love, the romance between she and Legolas just doesn't click. Building a ship on a broken foundation was never a good idea, and it promptly sunk once it left port. Even if it hadn't, Thranduil was waiting on the sidelines to sink that ship himself. Talk about a #dramaship. 

Ship Name: Dumbridge (AVPS - Team Starkid)
Characters Involved: Albus Dumbledore x Umbridge
Ship Rating (out of 5 ) : 
How the Ship Sunk: Dumbledore's gaydar just wasn't on the mark with dear ol' Umbridge. Dumbledore treated her to the standard staff welcome body shot down at the Three Broomsticks, thinking he'd found a new romance after Grindelwald left him. This pairing seems okay at first, until the text bombardment begins happening and Dumbledore decides to run and hide from his problems instead of facing them head on. Umbridge finally decides enough is enough and holds an entire song and dance routine letting him know how she feels about the situation! So don't you tell her to go, cause she knows what's up and that he ain't nothin! This ship burned too bright to last, but it was fun while it happened!

Ship Name: Lovelawney 
Characters Involved: Xenophilius Lovegood x Sybill Trelawney
Ship Rating (out of 5  ) :   
How the Ship Sunk: This ship is absolutely written in the stars! Hang tight, though, as these characters are sure to get a little wacky. With long, prose-ridden conversations and declarations of love that could make Shakespeare quake, this pairing is almost certain to have a blossoming romance, however strange it may be. This wacky ship will sail smoothly, at first, but it will be the little things that ultimately sink it. Sybill's constant forethought and searching for clues as to what the future will hold (which will always be disaster and death, according to 'the signs') will begin to weigh on Xenophilius. Likewise, Xenophilius' obsession with Blibbering Humdingerps, Wrackspurts, and other creatures that don't exist will begin to creep upon Sybill's every nerve.  A crack here, a splinter there, and soon the whole hull will be riddled with holes until the ship's keel floods with waters and sinks the whole dang thing. 

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credits: 

contributions: Rumpels, Madi, Kyle, Chelts
graphics: Rumpels
post draft: Madi