Hello, my loves! Welcome to another one of Chiara's purposeless ramblings! 

Okay, I don't really do blog very often... and definitely not about character interpretations, but this is something I've been pondering about for some time and wanted to share with you, because why not?  

If you know me at least a little bit, you know that I have a very serious (no pun intended) obsession with the Marauders within the HP fandom. Marauders stories are what first introduced me to the world of fanfiction, and the four troublemakers are the centre of most of what exist on my AP. Across the years (I started reading fics on the other site in 2009, and posted my first fic there at the end of 2013, so more than 8 years ago... ) my vision of them has morphed and got more complex and three-dimensional and detailed, culminating in the version of the Marauders that live in my Jimmy-verse.

Curiously, one thing that I haven't been particularly interested in for a while, and that I haven't still fully grasped, is what kind of person Sirius is in the context of romantic relationships. But now that I'm building for him a stable relationship with Emmeline in TSW, I thought it was about time that I figured out precisely where I stand there.

What do we really know of Sirius in this particular context from canon? Very little, actually. He spent most of his adult life in Azkaban, and then on the run, and he didn't exactly have the time or mind space for romance... as for his Hogwarts days, we are told that he was a very nice looking and popular boy and that there were definitely girls sighing over him, but it is stated nowhere if he actually had one (or multiple) relationships during his school years, either. Yet, to use @Oregonian's words (a recent review from Vicki is one of the main inspirations for this blog post):

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I find it difficult to see Sirius as a faithful lover after the endless streams of fanfics i've read about him as a Don Juan, a womanizer, his name linked with just about every female name in canon and plenty of OCs also.

I feel like there are two big, mainstream, opposite interpretations of Sirius' character in fanfic: on one side the perfectly straight, extremely volatile womanizer, and on the other the gayest of gays, utterly tragic, often problematic half of Wolfstar. Now, if we imagined this as a scale, in which these two interpretations are the extremes, where does my Sirius fall? Well, that's the question, right?  

@dottie-wan-kenobi once asked for LGBTQA+ headcanons for Marauders Era characters. The description I gave her of Sirius was:

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a panromantic asexual who still enjoys sex

And I kind of stand by it. It is the level of chaotic you'd expect of Sirius, plus I feel like he would see love and sex as two very separate things, like he can have one without the other and that's okay. And even when the two things insersect, sex is more of a way to have fun together, or maybe a sort of connecting experience, more than an actual need and indispensable part of the relationship. (Bear in mind that, as someone who identifies as an ace/aro myself, I don't actually have a clue what I'm talking about...  btw, sincere question that diverts from the purpose of this post... can a person be a romantic aromantic? Asking for a friend... )

Anyway, back to the main focus... is (my) Sirius a womanizer? To an extent, yes, he is. But how, and why? That's a bit more complex...

For the Jimmy-verse, pre-Emmeline Sirius, sex is mainly a coping mechanism. Which is not nice, nor healthy, nor fair, but that's how it is. He's suffered a lot, because of his family, and the war, and losing Marlene (who in this universe is the one person he's truly loved through all of his school and first war's days, even if it was a messy relationship with a lot of ups and downs and you know that Sirius has had other occasional adventures in between ) so he's been sleeping with a lot of different people just to feel something, but never having a real interest, or maybe avoiding any real interest for fear or suffering again...(?)

I think something very close to the idea of Sirius that lives in my head is what @inmyownlittlecorner did with him in her fic Breathing Underwater (that I very strongly recommend, btw... ) The extract of dialogue below is Remus explaining to Severus his relationship with Sirius, and it paints an image of Sirius that is just beautifully poignant and that I wholeheartedly agree with:

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“Yeah, well, I don’t need Rose losing her fucking edge because Black decides to jerk her around. I wouldn’t have thought you got off on getting jerked around, either.”

Lupin shrugged. “Sirius needs to be loved. I’ve never had a problem with that. And if anyone knows how to take care of herself, it’s Miranda.”

Severus downed the rest of his beer, and picked up the next shot of whiskey that’d appeared at his elbow. “Who knew you were so fucking broad-minded.”

“Sirius is a free spirit. It doesn't work to keep a person like that on a tight leash. He knows where his home is.”

Back to the Jimmy-verse... Sirius needs to be loved, he needs to feel the affection, but he doesn't want to feel constrained, and that's the key of the issue. Then Emmeline steps into his life. Or rather, he starts properly seeing her (maybe he just wasn't ready until that moment, who knows?) And she's kind, and delicate, but also witty and humorous and able to match him. She's the breath of fresh air that he'd been craving for and he falls head over heels for her. Each of them is exactly what the other needs, they are different in a way that compensate each other, they push each other to be better. @kuusi palaa, who obviously knows my characters better than I do, gave this absolutely on point interpretations of their relationship:

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I have so much hope for this pairing. I think Emmeline will really push Sirius to be vulnerable (instead of the arrogant, joking persona he has), and I think Sirius will bring her out of her comfort zone a little bit, ahhhhh, I can't wait to see them grow

I think that Sirius is going to help her see that Emmeline doesn't need to feel obligated to take care of everyone (because she can't) and he'll help her with ways to disconnect from that obligation.

Like Abby, I have so much hope for this ship!

I don't remember what the point of this blog post was supposed to be (I guess there was no point to be made ) I would be curious of your thoughts, if you have any and if you didn't grow bored of this useless rambling after the third line... Do you think that any of the above makes any sense at all? Who is Sirius for you? Is he a womanizer? Do you have any favourite Sirius ships/any specific headcanons on where he stands in a romantic/sexual context? Let me know (if you are willing to, of course )

Thank you for your attention  

And as always, big snowball hug rolling your way!  

Chiara